Bad Cop Drop/Script
Johnny: Hey Jim, good to see ya man. What's the trouble?
Jim: Take a guess, bro. It might have something to do with those cops that pulled one over on us.
Johnny: I figured.
Jim: The way I see it we got two choices. Either, we buy a big tub of grease and prepare to take it from these fat pigs for the rest of our lives.
Jim: Or, we head over to the clubhouse, close to where I happen to know they got themselves set up, and we show them that we're not quite the bitches they think we are.
Johnny: Well, tempted as I am with your first option, I'm gonna have to go with the second.
Jim: I figured you'd say that.
Johnny: Lead on, James!
(Jim gives Johnny a full automatic pistol)
Johnny: Nothing like the feel of a fully automatic pistol in your hand, you son of a bitch.
Johnny: How bout we race over to those fucking dirty cops, old man? Think you can handle it?
Johnny: Let's see if you still got it, old man. Let's drop the fuckin' hammer on this run to those assholes.
(If Johnny wins)
Johnny: How do I look from behind, man? You like looking at my patch?
Johnny: Shit, Jim, you should think about retiring with moves like that.
(If Johnny loses)
Johnny: Age before beauty, my man. Age before beauty.
Johnny: You still know a few tricks, old man. I'll give you that.
(The two meet the cops across from the Lost clubhouse)
Jim: Wait here a minute.
(Jim walks over to the cops)
Jim: Hey, officers, how you doin?
Matthews: Hey McCornish, this fat perp's brought us a present.
McCornish: You know, I forgot how stupid lookin' this guy was, Matthews. You think he's smart enough to realise that we got expensive tastes?
Matthews: What you got for us, mope?
Jim: Ah, exactly what you asked for.
(Jim punches McCornish in the stomach and throws coffee at Matthews)
Jim: There ya go!
(The two leave)
Jim: Head to Trinity in Acter Industrial, alright? The boys are gonna meet us there.
Jim: We gotta finish this bullshit off, get us to Trinity in Acter Industrial.
Jim: Make tracks to Trinity Road, John. Come on. I got some brothers coming to meet us.
Johnny: You stole his donut and spilled his coffee. Real mature, man.
Jim: We don't want to piss 'em off too much. Not yet, at least.
Johnny: Maybe you should have stolen his lunch money.
Jim: Maybe you should be on the fucking stage with jokes like that.
(The cops pursue the two bikers)
Johnny: Stupid pigs.
Johnny: Don't let 'em catch you now, Jim.
Johnny: The bulls are seeing red.
Johnny: Time's almost up, you dirty bastards.
Johnny: It's nearly retirement time, fuckers.
Johnny: I'm gonna go undercover in your asses, dickheads.
Johnny: Poor assholes don't eve know what they're in for.
Johnny: Write me a speeding ticket.
Cops: We're looking forward to kicking the shit out of you, mopes.
Cops: We're gonna break your necks, you scum.
Cops: Pull over so we can beat the shit out of you.
Cops: You're going to pay for that coffee and donut fat man.
Cops: Now you oew us the cash and your necks, biker boys.
Cops: Hey fatty, you can't fit on that bike. Why don't you pull over?
(If the cops are too close)
Jim: Johnny, man, they're right on top of us.
Jim: Hey, brother, this is about to get real unpleasant.
Jim: Shit, Johnny. We're about to get fucked by those pigs.
Jim: They're right on us, Johnny.
Jim: Brother, those cops have almost got us.
(If the player switches to the cop's sight)
Matthews: ...three heads in the West River and not a body in sight.
McCornish: No, no, no. It was the Humboldt. They found those left feet in the West River.
Matthews: fuck me sideways, you're right.
Matthews: ...I.A.D. and the Sarge taking turns to screw me like it's my fucking quinceanera.
McCornish: Always plant a gun, always. What did I tell you?
Matthews: I know, I know, it's just there's only so many you can carry. Who'd think there'd be five of them.
McCornish: so, I said, "But racial profiling works, motherfucker. Now give up the product."
Matthews: Ha, ha! Bet that shut him up.
McCornish: Ha ha ha! Turned out to be a sociology professor at Vespucci University.
McCornish: ...balls the size of mangoes.
Matthews: You know what, I can't wait to get them down the precinct so we can really stomp on those fuckers. Throw him in holding and let a pack of meatheads break them fucking potatoes for us.
McCornish: Come on. I give up, alright, I give up. Come on, tell me.
Matthews: A hooker being picked up by the chief on a Saturday night and let off with a special caution.
McCornish: Ha! You are fucking killing me man. What'd you eat funny pills today or what?
Matthews: ...no, no, Mommy. Mommy, no. Mommy. Boo hoo hoo.
McCornish: Mommy. He's crying like a little fucking bitch. Matthews you kill me you prick.
(The two lead the cops to the ambush)
Jim: This is where we deal with this bullshit.
Jim: Here's as good a place as any.
Jim: Here's where we end it.
(The bikers begin to fight the cops)
McCornish: The rest of your fucking biker buddies are gonna pay for this, too. You fucking hump.
McCornish: You got no idea the shit storm that's going to come down on you, you fucking pricks.
McCornish: You guys are the dumbest fucking mopes I've ever seen in all my years of service.
McCornish: We got the whole LCPD behind us, you fucking shit birds.
(If McCornish is killed)
Matthews: McCornish - dammit. Bastard nearly had his twenty.
Matthews: You're going to hell for that, shit head.
Matthews: You fucking mopes. McCornish was the best bad cop I knew.
(Police reinforcements show up)
Jim: And here are their buddies. Just great.
Jim: Great, here come the rest of them.
Jim: More of Liberty's least fine. Just what we need.
Jim: We ain't the pussies you thought we were.
Jim: You chose the wrong boys to put the squeeze on.
Jim: No commemorative gold watch and nice little bribe for you, man.
Jim: Case fucking closed.
Jim: You pigs chose to play dirty, didn't you?
Jim: Fuck you very much.
(The Lost kill the bent cops)
Jim: We got lucky there, Johnny boy. I thought we'd be shoveling shit for those dudes 'til God knows when.
Johnny: Now you know we ain't going out like that, Jim. I'll see you soon.
Jim: That'll show 'em.
Johnny: Oh yeah. You messed with a dirty cop's donut. You're one badass biker.
Jim: You know, cheap sarcasm should be beneath you, Johnny.
Johnny: Didn't even save me any, you fat fuck. Thanks a lot.
Failing the mission
Losing the cops
Johnny: There'll be another chance to deal with them. Don't you worry about that.
Cops killed early
Jim: Fuck me man, the whole LCPD are gonna be after us now. You can't just do that to a cop.
Johnny: Yeah, I know man, I know. Look after yourself.