Bad Cop Drop/Script

From Grand Theft Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

The following is a script of the mission Bad Cop Drop in The Lost and Damned.

Script

Johnny: Hey Jim, good to see ya man. What's the trouble?

Jim: Take a guess, bro. It might have something to do with those cops that pulled one over on us.

Johnny: I figured.

Jim: The way I see it we got two choices. Either, we buy a big tub of grease and prepare to take it from these fat pigs for the rest of our lives.

Johnny: Or?

Jim: Or, we head over to the clubhouse, close to where I happen to know they got themselves set up, and we show them that we're not quite the bitches they think we are.

Johnny: Well, tempted as I am with your first option, I'm gonna have to go with the second.

Jim: I figured you'd say that.

Johnny: Lead on, James!

(Jim gives Johnny a full automatic pistol)

Johnny: Nothing like the feel of a fully automatic pistol in your hand, you son of a bitch.

Dialogue

Johnny: How bout we race over to those fucking dirty cops, old man? Think you can handle it?

or:

Johnny: Let's see if you still got it, old man. Let's drop the fuckin' hammer on this run to those assholes.

(If Johnny wins)

Johnny: How do I look from behind, man? You like looking at my patch?

or:

Johnny: Shit, Jim, you should think about retiring with moves like that.

(If Johnny loses)

Johnny: Age before beauty, my man. Age before beauty.

or:

Johnny: You still know a few tricks, old man. I'll give you that.

(The two meet the cops across from the Lost clubhouse)

Jim: Wait here a minute.

(Jim walks over to the cops)

Jim: Hey, officers, how you doin?

Matthews: Hey McCornish, this fat perp's brought us a present.

McCornish: You know, I forgot how stupid lookin' this guy was, Matthews. You think he's smart enough to realise that we got expensive tastes?

Matthews: What you got for us, mope?

Jim: Ah, exactly what you asked for.

(Jim punches McCornish in the stomach and throws coffee at Matthews)

Jim: There ya go!

(The two leave)

Jim: Head to Trinity in Acter Industrial, alright? The boys are gonna meet us there.

or:

Jim: We gotta finish this bullshit off, get us to Trinity in Acter Industrial.

Jim: Make tracks to Trinity Road, John. Come on. I got some brothers coming to meet us.

Johnny: You stole his donut and spilled his coffee. Real mature, man.

Jim: We don't want to piss 'em off too much. Not yet, at least.

Johnny: Maybe you should have stolen his lunch money.

Jim: Maybe you should be on the fucking stage with jokes like that.

(The cops pursue the two bikers)

Johnny: Stupid pigs.

Johnny: Don't let 'em catch you now, Jim.

Johnny: The bulls are seeing red.

Johnny: Time's almost up, you dirty bastards.

Johnny: It's nearly retirement time, fuckers.

Johnny: I'm gonna go undercover in your asses, dickheads.

Johnny: Poor assholes don't eve know what they're in for.

Johnny: Write me a speeding ticket.

Cops: We're looking forward to kicking the shit out of you, mopes.

Cops: We're gonna break your necks, you scum.

Cops: Pull over so we can beat the shit out of you.

Cops: You're going to pay for that coffee and donut fat man.

Cops: Now you oew us the cash and your necks, biker boys.

Cops: Hey fatty, you can't fit on that bike. Why don't you pull over?

(If the cops are too close)

Jim: Johnny, man, they're right on top of us.

Jim: Hey, brother, this is about to get real unpleasant.

Jim: Shit, Johnny. We're about to get fucked by those pigs.

Jim: They're right on us, Johnny.

Jim: Brother, those cops have almost got us.

(If the player switches to the cop's sight)

Matthews: ...three heads in the West River and not a body in sight.

McCornish: No, no, no. It was the Humboldt. They found those left feet in the West River.

Matthews: fuck me sideways, you're right.


Matthews: ...I.A.D. and the Sarge taking turns to screw me like it's my fucking quinceanera.

McCornish: Always plant a gun, always. What did I tell you?

Matthews: I know, I know, it's just there's only so many you can carry. Who'd think there'd be five of them.


McCornish: so, I said, "But racial profiling works, motherfucker. Now give up the product."

Matthews: Ha, ha! Bet that shut him up.

McCornish: Ha ha ha! Turned out to be a sociology professor at Vespucci University.


McCornish: ...balls the size of mangoes.

Matthews: You know what, I can't wait to get them down the precinct so we can really stomp on those fuckers. Throw him in holding and let a pack of meatheads break them fucking potatoes for us.


McCornish: Come on. I give up, alright, I give up. Come on, tell me.

Matthews: A hooker being picked up by the chief on a Saturday night and let off with a special caution.

McCornish: Ha! You are fucking killing me man. What'd you eat funny pills today or what?


Matthews: ...no, no, Mommy. Mommy, no. Mommy. Boo hoo hoo.

McCornish: Mommy. He's crying like a little fucking bitch. Matthews you kill me you prick.

(The two lead the cops to the ambush)

Jim: This is where we deal with this bullshit.

or:

Jim: Here's as good a place as any.

Jim: Here's where we end it.

(The bikers begin to fight the cops)

McCornish: The rest of your fucking biker buddies are gonna pay for this, too. You fucking hump.

McCornish: You got no idea the shit storm that's going to come down on you, you fucking pricks.

McCornish: You guys are the dumbest fucking mopes I've ever seen in all my years of service.

McCornish: We got the whole LCPD behind us, you fucking shit birds.

(If McCornish is killed)

Matthews: McCornish - dammit. Bastard nearly had his twenty.

or:

Matthews: You're going to hell for that, shit head.

Matthews: You fucking mopes. McCornish was the best bad cop I knew.

(Police reinforcements show up)

Jim: And here are their buddies. Just great.

or:

Jim: Great, here come the rest of them.

Jim: More of Liberty's least fine. Just what we need.

Jim: We ain't the pussies you thought we were.

Jim: You chose the wrong boys to put the squeeze on.

Jim: No commemorative gold watch and nice little bribe for you, man.

Jim: Case fucking closed.

Jim: You pigs chose to play dirty, didn't you?

Jim: Fuck you very much.

(The Lost kill the bent cops)

Jim: We got lucky there, Johnny boy. I thought we'd be shoveling shit for those dudes 'til God knows when.

Johnny: Now you know we ain't going out like that, Jim. I'll see you soon.

Alternate dialogue

Jim: That'll show 'em.

Johnny: Oh yeah. You messed with a dirty cop's donut. You're one badass biker.

Jim: You know, cheap sarcasm should be beneath you, Johnny.

Johnny: Didn't even save me any, you fat fuck. Thanks a lot.

Jim:

Failing the mission

Losing the cops

Johnny: There'll be another chance to deal with them. Don't you worry about that.

Cops killed early

Jim: Fuck me man, the whole LCPD are gonna be after us now. You can't just do that to a cop.

Johnny: Yeah, I know man, I know. Look after yourself.