Catch the Wave/Script
Phil: Hey Tommy, check this out... seven horse, seven race, Joe Shmoe.
Niko: Hey Phil.
Phil: What? Hey, pal... what's going on?
Niko: Not too much. How are you?
Phil: I'm good. Wanna walk and talk?
Phil: Tommy, gimme a call if my big buddy calls. Tell him I went out to get some fresh air.
Tommy: No problem.
(Niko and Tommy walk outside the club)
Phil: Ridiculous. I'm a grown man walking around like a chump. I'm sorry about this.
Niko: Hey, no problem.
Phil: So you're a friend of Ray's?
Niko: A friend? No. I do some work for him.
Phil: No, I mean a friend.
Niko: I don't understand. Whatever you say. He's a slimeball, but he pays.
Phil: Sure, pal, sure. Listen to me... the thing about Ray is he's a good earner. He talks a lot of shit, but he's a good earner, capiche?
Niko: He's a rat, doing an impression of man
Phil: That's pretty good.
(Tommy runs out of the club)
Tommy: Phil! Phil!
Phil: What, what, what do ya want?
Tommy: It's the boss... said you gotta head down the docks... emergency... said you'd understand.
Phil: Ah shit, it's three days early, Madonna mia, what am I gonna do?
Niko: What's the problem?
Phil: Niko... I'm gonna have to take a chance with you, pal.
Phil: C'mon, let's go.
Phil: Ok listen. There's a truck waiting for us. It's under the overpass of Catskill Avenue, drive us there. You scan this thing for bugs?
Niko: No, but we can be pretty sure it's clean. Chill out.
Phil: Alright, alright. It's just that if we get caught on this one, you and me is going down for a long time. And that means that certain people is gonna assume we'll rat. Which means we'll get whacked.
Niko: You're working with the wrong people if you expect 'em to whack you if you go inside. Where's the trust, Phil?
Phil: It's about survival. If someone who knew what I knew got flipped then the whole organization would go down. Whacking someone who catches some heavy time is just an insurance policy. And it don't help that not everyone in the organization is pulling in the same direction.
Niko: You mean that someone in the family would see someone else going inside as an opportunity to get ahead?
Phil: You're a smart guy. Anyways, excuse me if I wanna be absolutely sure that we got our asses covered.
Niko: You're excused. What're we doing?
Phil: We're taking a load of product off of some Russians the Ancelottis have been dealing with. You was helping those Irish idiots cause some beef between the Ancelottis and their Albanian muscle a while back. Since that little love affair ended, they been getting this Russian guy to supply them with C. We just got the heads up that a shipment has arrived in Liberty City by boat.
Niko: That's what the talk about the docks was?
Phil: Exactly. We're taking the C off the Russians so they can't deliver it to the Ancelottis.
Niko: Sounds straightforward. We take the coke so that the Russians and the Ancelottis have a falling out. And we make some money in the process by selling the stuff. Easy.
Phil: Shit, you sound like you're saying all this just so it's clear on the wire tap. For the record I don't know what this man is talking about. We're rehearsing a scene for an acting class. I work in waste management. Everything we're saying is fiction, it has no bearing in the real world. Watch it Niko.
(Niko drives to the truck)
Phil: Alright, this is the truck.
Niko: Why we need this truck? It must be a shit load of coke we're taking?
Phil: It should be a lot of sugar, but that ain't the only reason why we're taking this truck. Some of my boys stole it from the Ancelottis this morning. It's the one the Russians is expecting to come pick up the C. We should be able to turn up and have 'em load it up for us. Then we drive away, no questions asked.
Niko: I don't know if anyone would give away a load of coke without asking any questions. Even Russian coke runners ain't that stupid.
Phil: Yeah, sure, this is just plan A. It's the one Jimmy P worked out. You and me know it ain't gonna work. And that the only way we're gonna be able to leave that place with the sugar is if all the Russians in there are dead.
Niko: So, why don't we use a more subtle approach, not just drive right into the middle of them?
Phil: Because these is the orders and we gotta follow them. That's the way things work. You ain't gonna be happy about everything you get told to do, are ya?
Niko: You're the boss, it ain't like I'm working for free.
Phil: No, you ain't. I ain't either. That's why we gotta at least try what we're told to do. You're gonna learn that there ain't much in this life that you got control of. Whether you're putting yourself in harm's way because that's the way the Skipper wants it done, or you're staying away from your kids because of a stupid court order and a malicious bitch of an ex-wife; there ain't that much control in anything.
Niko: I been around long enough to know that there is some things that we don't have a choice about, but there's other times where you got to look at something and make a decision for yourself. I can't follow every order I'm given.
Phil: Yeah, well, maybe you're right. Maybe you ain't. I dunno.
(The two arrive at the boatyard)
Phil: This is it, keep a cool head and everything should be fine.
(A Russian walks up to the truck and begins talking to Phil)
Phil: Hey, buddy, we're here to pick up the shipment.
Russian: I don't speak English. Fuck off.
Phil: Hey, amigo, let's make this easy. I just wanna give the stuff to my boss and go home.
Russian: I don't let anyone in here until I get the word. There's something wrong about you. Get out of the truck real slow.
Phil: Niko, it looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. Shoot these commies.
(Niko and Phil begin fighting the Russians)
Phil: You went too far this time.
Phil: The drug game's ours, boys.
Phil: Eat, fucking, this.
Phil: Go back to fucking Moscow.
Phil: You shoulda stayed out of this.
(Niko and Phil move through the warehouse)
Phil: Yo, Niko. On me.
Phil: Niko, I need some help here.
Phil: Give me some covering fire, kid.
Phil: Watch my back.
Phil: Cover me, Niko.
(The two clear out the warehouse and find the boats)
Phil: Err, Niko. The stuff's still on those boats. We best get 'em outta here. I'll take the one on the right, you get the one on the left. C'mon, move it, Niko! We're heading to the docks in North Holland. Move out.
(Russians show up on boats and begin to attack Niko and Phil)
Niko: Damn, looks like these guys really want to hold onto the coke!
Niko: Man, they ain't giving up easy. We got more of them!
Niko: Phil, there's more of these guys coming after us.
(The attackers are killed)
Niko: I think we got the cocaine to ourselves now, Phil.
Niko: Hey Phil, that's got to be the last of them.
(Niko and Phil lose the attacks and get the coke to the drop off point)
Phil: You handled yourself real good back there. Kept your head. That's a valuable trait.
Niko: Thank you.
Phil: See you later.
Phil: Shit, you seen any choppers? Any birds in the sky?
Niko: I didn't pick you for a helicopter enthusiast.
Phil: Fuck you, I ain't. I just keeping thinking these choppers is following me, that's all. The Feds monitoring my every move. I flip out whenever I'm even outside.
Niko: Keep your head, things ain't even started yet. What're we doing?
Phil: Taking a shipment of coke from some Russians before they can sell it to the Ancelottis. I'm paranoid because we especially don't wanna get caught on this one. We get caught and everyone will be coming after us. The Feds'll throw away the key, the Russians and the Ancelottis'll know we was fucking them over. Hell, our own family might come after us for fear we'll turn state's.
Niko: Hey man, this familiarity is getting to me. I'm a 'friend' of Ray's. I'm part of the 'family'. Shit man, I'm just the hired help. I'm the fucking immigrant maid cleaning up your guys' shit. I ain't part of no family. I'm an independent contractor.
Phil: Sure, sure, I get that. Whatever makes it all make sense in your head. Family's a way of saying we ain't gonna fuck each other... at least that's what it's meant to mean. All I care about is that you're loyal enough to get the jobs done and not turn state's.
Niko: I'll get the jobs done if the money is there, and I ain't gonna turn state's. Enough governments have let me down in the past. I don't know why I'd trust this one.
Phil: That's the attitude. These guys promise you a new life if you screw every person who ever did a kind thing for you. Then, they ship you off to Ohio and get you selling microwaves. There ain't no action and the only cannolis you're gonna see are the ones on TV. It's all internet porn and dreamin about home, that ain't no life.
Niko: Depends how you define life.
(Niko and Phil get in the truck)
Niko: They're gonna let us take the coke with this truck then, are they?
Phil: That's the plan. Whether it works or not remains to be seen. You know something? I woulda liked Ray to be on this job instead of me. But there's some things that he ain't trusted with.
Niko: I don't think I'd trust him to send me on another job after the shit he had me doing.
Phil: After all of that, you guys didn't even get the diamonds. That wasn't a successful operation by any way you look at it. I'm hoping that this endeavor is gonna be more fruitful.
Niko: For the record, I did everything I was meant to do. The problem was Ray's planning and the amount of people involved. Too many people wanted that ice, no one was ever going to end up with it.
Phil: Well a lot of people want to get hold of this merchandise as well. By your logic that means it's going to end up dissolving into the Humboldt River. I don't want that to happen.
Niko: Me neither. Maybe if we want it more than anyone else, we'll be able to hang onto it.
Phil: It's gonna take more than wanting it real bad. It's gonna take a clear head. Ray's a greedy rat. He wants this stuff more than anyone else, but that don't mean he's gonna get it. He's got his eyes on my position, the skipper's too, I'm sure. Wanting it and getting it are two different things though. Every move he makes is so obvious, it's disgusting to see him trying to sleaze his way up the ladder.
Niko: His moves might be easy for you to see, but maybe they're working. Maybe he's getting somewhere. He definitely knows a lot of people.
Phil: Shit, if anyone does start listening to Ray's shit then I could be in some trouble. I'm hoping that day don't come.
Failing the mission
Phil: That truck was part of the plan. You start cutting corners and you get sloppy. See you round.
Phil: We lost some of that sugar, it ain't no good taking it from the Russians if we can't sell it ourselves. Ciao.
Beaching the boat
Phil: Shit Niko, what we meant to do with a boat on dry land? That coke's lost. It's lost to us, man. Later.
(Dialogue which isn't heard in-game)
Phil: I'll see you at the docks in North Holland, Niko.
Phil: Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. Get these commies, Niko.
Phil: We need some wheels.
Phil: We're taking this C to the docks in North Holland. Come on.