Crime and Punishment/Script
(At the dumpster near Perestroika)
Niko: Where are you, Roman?
Roman: Psst, Niko!
Niko: Roman! What are you doing in the dumpster, man?
Roman: Are they there?
Niko: What are you talking about... get out of there, man.
Roman: I'm freaking out, man. I'm being followed... I saw them...
Niko: Don't be ridiculous. You're being paranoid.
Roman: I'm being? Fuck you. Fuck you... everything was fine, and then you show up... and now we're dead... because Faustin is a psychopath... he's going to kill us... because we killed Vlad. Vlad was his man... that's how it works... you kill their guy, they kill you!
Niko: Roman, get out of there, man. Listen to me, Vlad was a piece of trash. They don't care about him. All they care about is making money. So, we say we work for them. Now get out of there, you smell like cabbage.
Roman: I don't want to, man. I'm shitting myself.
(Andrei appears behind Niko and knocks him out with an AK-47 then points it at Roman)
Andrei: Get out of the dumpster, Mr. fat man. Come on, fatty, the boss wants a little chat.
(Niko regains consciousness in Mikhail Faustin's basement)
Dimitri Rascalov: Wake up. We had to gag him, to stop the screaming. You shouldn't have brought them here, Andrei.
Andrei: Why not? You've been a bad boy, Mr. Balkan... and the boss is not happy.
Niko: Oh no! I shit my pants!
Andrei: Not yet, but you will. Who are you working for?
Niko: Errr, my cousin, Roman. Don't be an idiot.
Andrei: That's not good enough. I'm going to saw off your fucking arm. Speak!
'Niko: Okay, okay, your dad likes it up the ass... what do you want me to say, huh?
(Andrei hits Niko in the forehead with a saw then smacks him in the face with it)
Andrei: Very funny... do you think you're so smart?
Niko: No. I'm tied up in a basement a long way from home, while some ape threatens me with a hacksaw, so no, I'm not that smart.
(Mikhail Faustin walks down to the basement and see Niko and Roman being tortured)
Faustin: Shut the fuck up. My fucking wife is watching television. Good lord... what are you doing?
Andrei: Nothing... I mean... I was finding out who he is...
Faustin: And? Who is he?
Andrei: He is... his cousin.
Faustin: You were about to cut up some guy in my house, making all that noise, to find out he is his cousin? Where did you find this idiot?
Dimitri: He was a friend of your sergeant, when we were in Vladivostok.
Faustin: He's an imbecile. So, Niko Bellic. You think it's okay to kill my employees?
Niko: If he is an asshole, yes.
(Faustin turns around and shoots Andrei in the head)
Faustin: I agree.
Faustin: Asshole look at me like I am piece of shit.
Dimitri: Oh my God.
Faustin: Now listen... Niko Bellic. You are very lucky Vlad was an idiot. The only reason I keep him around is because I fuck his sister. Look at me. You owe me. I got some dickheads in my neighborhood trying to run a shipment, yeah?
Dimitri: And we've found a buyer for the TVs.
Faustin: Yes, a buyer, but you've got to get them for us so we can make the sale.
Niko: Can you untie Roman?
(Faustin nudges towards Dimitri and Dimitri unties him)
Roman: Help! Help me!
Niko: Shut up Roman.
Faustin: Shut up!
Roman: Help me! Help.
Niko: Roman shut up.
Faustin: Shut him up!
Dimitri: What do you want me to do?
Niko: Shut up Roman!
Faustin: Shut the fuck up!
Dimitri: He's just screaming that's it!
Niko: Roman, shut up!
Dimitri: I can't make him shut up!
(Faustin shoots Roman in the stomach)
Faustin: Shut up!
Dimitri: Stop shooting people, you maniac!
Faustin: My wife doesn't like when people shout!
Dimitri: Whatever! You better get those screens soon.
Faustin: Or I will personally pull your cousin's stitches out, one by one, and watch his guts spill onto the floor. Clean this shut up.
Dimitri: Listen, we'll take care of your cousin, but you better get a police car, and then you call me.
(Dimitri unties Niko and Niko rushes to help Roman but Dimitri rushes him out)
Niko: Roman. Roman!
Dimitri: Go, go, go. I... I'll take care of him.
(Niko enters a Police car and calls Dimitri)
Niko: I have the police car, what now?
Dimitri: The van is driving around South Broker. Pull it over, take it to our lockup on Dukes Drive.
Niko: Be more specific. How many vans you think there are in South Broker?
Dimitri: That is a problem for you and your cousin, not me. Keep pulling vans over until you find the TVs. Goodbye.
(Niko finds and pulls over a van)
Niko: Come out real slow, shithead.
Driver: I don't want no trouble, buddy.
Niko: What you got back there, TVs? Show me.
Driver: Hey, you got bad information, brother.
Niko: Fuck, get out of here.
Driver: I ain't got nothing. You wasting your time.
Niko: Show me you don't got any flatscreens in the back.
Driver: You gonna be disappointed.
Niko: Nothing, shit.
Niko: Show me the back. You carrying TVs? Fuck... nothing.
(Niko pulls over another van)
Niko: Get out of there or you're fucking dead.
Driver: Man, I ain't picked up shipment yet.
Niko: Open up the back. You got any flatscreens?
Driver: Ain't got nothing.
Driver: It's empty.
Driver: Don't kill me, man. I'll show you.
Niko: Nothing! Fuck this!
Driver: Listen, I don't got insurance.
Driver: No TVs, buddy.
Niko: Man... get out of here.
(Niko pulls over the TV carrying the TVs)
Niko: Get the fuck out of here.
Driver: I wouldn't do this, Kenny Petrovic is looking after this truck.
Niko: Are you carrying a shipment of TVs?
Driver: This is a big screw up. Motherfucker.
Niko: Come out and don't try nothing.
Niko: What you got back there, TVs? Show me.
Driver: Big fucking mistake. I ain't losing this.
Niko: Get out with no funny business.
Driver: You're making a mistake, we paying protection money to Kenny Petrovic.
Driver: You ain't taking these.
Driver: You gonna be sorry. Wrong move, asshole.
Driver: I'm dead if I lose this shipment.
Post mission phone calls
Niko: I've left the van where you say. How's Roman?
Dimitri: He's ok. A little scarred, but ok. You did good. Mikhail needs someone like you. Stop by and see him sometime.
Roman: Niko, hello.
Niko: Roman, are you alright?
Roman: I was just shot in the stomach and then stitched up in a doctor's office that was dirtier than the basement we were nearly tortured in. I'm great.
Niko: You sound calm, actually.
Roman If you're near a shop can you pick up some adult diapers for me? See you later, Niko.
Failing the mission
Vans are shot or destroyed
Niko: Dimitri, I couldn't get you that shipment.
Dimitri: Mikhail does not tolerate failure. I hope your cousin is not nearby when I tell him this.