Fear It? Do It!

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Fear It? Do It! by Darius Fontaine

Fear It? Do It! is a book featured in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It was written by therapist (later turned cult leader) Darius Fontaine. The book is about dealing with your fears and Darius' opinion on how to concur them.

Content

On Darius' website, there is an Online Diagnosis which includes many phobias and solutions. It can be assumed that these are also in his book.

Death/Necrophobia : Go RIGHT NOW and kill the first person you see. You will notice that death is not really so very bad.

Dogs/Kynophobia : DON'T WORRY. There is no such thing as dogs.

Drug Addiction/Pharmacophobia : Buy several hundred dollars' worth of high quality crack cocaine. Smoke it all. You will notice drug addiction no longer holds any fears for you. You have taken ownership of your fears. Well done.

Foreigners\Xenophobia : You will discover they are not very frightening when they have been surprised by a sniper's bullet.

Insanity\Maniaphobia : You're not mad. Life really is this bad.

Masturbation\Masturphobia : It is perfectly natural, assuming you do it correctly. Please send a video for verification to DARIUS FONTAINE(TM).

Monsters/Teratophobia Are you mad? Don't be afraid of monsters. Pedophiles, mass murderers, terrorism and the government pose a much bigger risk to society. Own your fear.

Root Vegetables/Vegephobia : WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO KID?

Sex/Coitaphobia : Come to my office. In a series of personal sessions, I will rid you of all your sexual hang ups, in exchange for money. Please send a photo first.

Transvestites/Trannyphobia : Try it, you might like it. BRAS CAN BE VERY SUPPORTIVE.

Water/Aquaphobia : Drink a glass of water. Notice how nothing happens! YOU ARE FREE! Go in peace!

Women\Gynophobia : Join the club.


External link