Criminal: Get off me.
Police officer: Get in there. Stop with this okay?
Criminal: Get the fuck off me.
'Francis: Oh, okay. Have a nice day. Hey uh, Jimmy, how you doing? Come on Jimmy, let's go to my office.
Francis: You're undercover. As in deep.
Mitch: Heya, Chief.
Francis: Hey Mitch... looking good. Gastric bypass worked out well for you I see...
Mitch: Yeah thanks. I'll tell my therapist about you... tell her my boss keeps sexually harassing me.
Francis: Oh yeah, you wish.
(Niko and Francis go to Francis' office)
Francis: I could use a drink. You?
Francis: That motherfucker thinks he can drag me down.
Niko: What's wrong now?
Francis: Oh man... Sure? Listen. Where to begin? I don't know. Let me put it like this... if a guy makes a mistake, should that ruin his life? People don't understand how life is. Life is like a bowl of fruit... slowly rotting in a hot kitchen...
Niko: Hey, I don't give a fuck about the life lessons, friend. What do you want?
Francis: I'm a good guy! I... he's got it all wrong... but one stain on my character and I'm finished. I want to make a difference.
Francis: Some lawyer. This big, white shoe firm. Thinks he's a crusader. Some morality cunt who takes photos of guys in the shower at the gym and then jacks off on his wife's face. Some...
Niko: Hey, enough. Enough.
Francis: Sorry. Look... the guy's name is Tom Goldberg. Thinks he's got something on me. Gonna go to the DA with it, use it to get into congress.
Francis: Yeah. So, it's him or me. And it might as well be him, right. But... he's hard to get to. Guy has a bodyguard, limo, everything. You're gonna need to get one on one with him.
Niko: Not in the showers.
Francis: Not in the showers, a job interview. Then you can steal some files I need.
Niko: An interview?
Francis: Sure, it'll be easy. You're an immigrant. They're almost legally bound to interview you. But, uh... get yourself a suit.
Francis: I'll email you the details. You're a good man, Niko Bellic. A good man.
Niko: Coming from you, that means a lot.
Francis: It does.
(Niko sends the resume and calls Francis)
Niko: I've sent off the application. I've always wanted to be a lawyer.
Francis: You can be whatever you like. It's the land of opportunity. Any fool can become president. Call when you hear about the interview.
(The lawyers office calls Niko)
Karen: Mr. Bellic. This is Karen from Goldberg, Ligner, and Shyster. We'd like to arrange an interview for you at the earliest convenience. Come into our offices at noon tomorrow. Is that alright?
Niko: I can free that period up in my schedule.
Karen: Super! Your interview will be with Mr. Goldberg. Press the buzzer and we'll let you in. Have a nice day.
(Niko calls Francis)
Niko: I have an interview with Goldberg tomorrow.
Francis: Perfect, the smug bastard ain't gonna know what's coming at him. Teach him for sticking his nose in other peoples' business and get the files.
(Niko arrives at the office)
Niko: Ah... it's Niko Bellic, I'm here for an interview.
Receptionist: Come in, I'll buzz you through.
(Niko enters the building)
Security guard: Welcome to Goldberg, Ligner and Shyster, sir.
Receptionist: Mr. Bellic, welcome. I'll just see if Mr. Goldberg is available. Mr. Goldberg, Mr. Bellic has arrived for his interview.
Goldberg: Ok, great, uh, tell him to come through to my office.
Receptionist: Would you please follow me, Mr. Bellic?
Receptionist: Mr. Goldberg is such a saint. He teaches kids to swim, you know? He's just so warm and giving. All he cares about is making the world a better place. And boy, are you in trouble if you get in his way.
'Niko: I always get nervous before interviews.
Niko: Do you think he'll like me?
Receptionist: He's just in here. Don't be nervous. He doesn't bite.
(Niko enters Goldberg's office)
Goldberg: Hello, Niko. What's that short for... Nikolai? I'm looking for a man who can get jobs done right. Nikolai, I like your resume. You seem to be the sort of man who would go the extra distance, I just need to take another look, get myself reacquainted with your experience. So, you're the sort of man who doesn't wait to get told what to do? A guy who looks at the world, sees problems and tries to fix them?
Goldberg: My problem is that people don't notice the decay in society. They leave the decay alone and soon it's too late so you have to pull the whole tooth.
Goldberg: I'm the guy who goes around shaking people.For people, read society, read City Hall. I shake them, and I say "floss!". Get rid of the rotting flesh stuck in your teeth. Prevent decay! Mouthwash, you hear me? There's this cop. Good cop, but he thinks he's above the law. He's not. You wanna know why? Because the law is clear. I'm gonna crush him into dust. No one is above my judgment! You understand me?
Goldberg: Here at G, L and S we're pushing things to the limit. We're on the front line young man. A man I was recently with in this office, in this very room, was murdered. You gotta fight for what is just in this world.
Niko: You do.
Goldberg: Anyway, gimme an example of some time where you've worked as part of a team.
Niko: I work alone.
(Niko doesn't talk to Goldberg)
Goldberg: You gotta say something. You can't just do nothing and waste both our time.
Goldberg: You're just a waste of space, aren't you?
Goldberg: Damn these quotas. You end up with every dumb immigrant in the city coming in for interviews.
Goldberg: So, are you going to expand on that or are you just going to hang around like a chump?
(If Niko waits for too long)
Goldberg: Security, get in here. We've got a problem.
(A security guard runs into the room)
Goldberg: Modupe! Modupe, get in here! Would you remove this gentleman from the building? He's wasting my time. And while you're at it, take a look in the can, will ya? I think I blocked it up pretty good.
(Niko stands up)
Goldberg: Sure, stand up if you want to. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Goldberg: You're standing, that's a power play, I like it.
Goldberg: Standing up, assertive move, right. I like a man who takes control.
(Niko draws a gun)
Goldberg: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second there, friend! We're lawyers, we don't need guns. Strong move though, I gotta say, like that style. I'm all about the Second Amendment. Guns don't kill people, video games do.
(Niko draws a baseball bat)
Goldberg: Baseball, the great American pastime. We got a softball team in the office. Get sweaty together, build team spirit, you know.
(Niko draws a knife)
Goldberg: A knife? You into camping or something? Did you order that from the serrated edge?
(Niko draws a Molotov)
Goldberg: Whoa, I don't know what the policy is where you're from, Nikolai, but this is a non-smoking office. If it helps you concentrate though, hell, keep it going. Have you got A.D.D., is that the problem? We can get you a mild amphetamine to level you out, if you need it. You don't need to spark that bad boy up every time you need to get in the zone. No sir!
(Niko draws a grenade)
Goldberg: Whoa, is that thing real? You know, if that thing goes off we can sue the shit out of whoever sold it to you. Maybe we can look into that after the interview. Let the security guard, Modupe, play with it for a while. See what happens.
(Niko draws a rocket launcher)
Goldberg: Whoa, hey, hey. What's that, Nikolai? Shit, I've only seen those things on TV. Man, you bring one of those into court and no one's going to raise any objections to your opening statement. Am I right? Am I right? I'm not wrong.
(Niko threatens Goldberg)
Niko: Where are the files for your case against McReary?
Goldberg: Shit, they're on my desk. I never hurt anyone.
Niko: I wouldn't be here if you'd never hurt anyone.
Goldberg: I'm an important person, don't hurt me, Nikolai.
Goldberg: You don't have to do this, Nikolai.
Goldberg: Come on, Nikolai, don't kill me.
Goldberg: Nikolai, this isn't right. I'm helping people.
Goldberg: Nikolai, this city needs me. Don't kill me.
(If Goldberg is injured, but alive)
Goldberg: Argh. Get outta here.
Goldberg: Get off me. Get off me.
Goldberg: What are you doing?
Goldberg: Stop this. Stop it.
Goldberg: I'm not going to fight you.
(The receptionist runs into the room and sees Niko)
Receptionist: Mr. Goldberg? Is everything alright?
Niko: You didn't see anything, okay?
Niko: I guess I didn't get the job.
Niko: I was never here. You understand?
(Niko kills Goldberg and takes the files to Francis)
Niko: Here are the files.
Francis: Great, peace at last. I feel cleansed. You silenced Goldberg too, right? I don't need to worry about him?
Niko: He's done.
Francis: Music to my ears, a weight has been lifted. Here's your payment.
(If Niko misses the interview)
AUTOMATED REPLY: Our offices are currently closed. Your query will receive our fullest attention at the earliest opportunity. Thank you. G. L. and S.
Failing the mission
Driving into the building/attacking office workers
Niko: Hey man, I don't think I interview too good. I didn't even get in the room with him. Things kicked off a bit early.
Francis: Fuck me, this guy's about to bring my whole life tumbling down and you can't even go into an interview room. Shit, I might as well lock you up. You'd be more useful to me on the inside.
Niko: Mr. McReary, they didn't let me see him. Must have got onto me when they saw I was packing heat. Lawyers are smart.
Francis: Of course they're smart, that's how they squeeze all your fucking money out of you. I'm coming close to getting you thrown away for good, Niko. Don't mess up again.
Missing the interview
Francis: How'd the interview go? Is it done?
Niko: Shit, something came up. I didn't make it. Maybe they'll schedule another one.
Francis: They fucking better.