Out of the Closet/Script
Roman Bellic: Hey, man.
Niko Bellic: Hey, guys.
Brucie Kibbutz: Fifty-nine... sixty... Hey! Hit me.
Niko Bellic: What?
Brucie Kibbutz: Hit me, come on! Ohh, motherfuckers....
Roman Bellic: Niko, you wanna go on a date?
Niko Bellic: Ehh...
Roman Bellic: Come on. What's wrong with you?
Niko Bellic: Okay. Who is she?
Roman Bellic: That's the thing, it's a guy.
Niko Bellic: Fuck you.
Brucie Kibbutz: No. Dude, listen! The cousin of that guy you killed, Lyle Rivas, owes me a lot of money. And the dick won't pay. Instead he's said he's going to have me killed, that bitch. Hi-ah!
Roman Bellic: Brucie, you got to chill. For real.
Brucie Kibbutz: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Roman Bellic: Now listen, NB, this guy is in hiding. But - he's a serious co...
Brucie Kibbutz: He's a serious cockhound.
Niko Bellic: Oh. So you think of me.
Brucie Kibbutz: No! But the guy knows me, and I don't think anyone would date that fat Slav.
Roman Bellic: So, I'm just doing your profile.
Niko Bellic: Alright, let me see... I am a "vulnerable guy who needs to be held by big strong arms"?
Roman Bellic: Yeah.
Niko Bellic: You got to be kidding me!
Roman Bellic: I knew we should have made him a giver not a taker, Brucie!
Brucie Kibbutz: Oh, shut up! Now listen, Nicky... I need you. And I will pay heavily for this.
Niko Bellic: Okay. And Roman, cousin? You're a dick.
Brucie Kibbutz: Ahh! Nicky!
(Niko arrives at the internet cafe and calls Brucie)
Niko: Alright, man. I'm at the internet cafe. What now?
Brucie: The website is Love-meet. Go to it, bro. The guy you want a date with is using French Tom as his screen name. You're an animal, man. Eat him alive, okay?
(Niko meets French Tom at the diner in Hove Beach)
French Tom: Hey, are you my date? Thank God! You never know who's going to turn up when you've met someone online.
Niko: Yeah. All sorts of sickos can use the internet. You have to be careful. I'm Niko.
French Tom: So Niko, what do you do?
Niko: I do a lot of things. What's your job?
French Tom: Job? Job? Everyone's talking about this Job guy. I haven't met him and I don't want to. Mr. Job sounds like an asshole.
Niko: Really? What type of man do you want to meet?
French Tom: One with a lot of money. Do you know Gay Tony? Runs Hercules and Maisonette 9. I'll tell you a secret, he pretends to have the dollars but he's broke as hell - the loser. If there's one thing that I hate more than fat people and cripples, it is poor guys.
Niko: Is that why you borrow money that you can't pay back?
French Tom: What're you talking about? How the fuck do you know who I pay and don't pay back? Fuck you, bitch. You ain't miss thing. You can't tell me shit about who I am.
Niko: I'm just here to do a job. People in this world need to work. And my work is getting rid of you.
French Tom: I wouldn't fuck a scummy immigrant like you anyway.
(Tom flees the diner and Niko chases him)
French Tom: You filthy creep.
French Tom: This is an all time low.
French Tom: This is so undignified.
French Tom: Not the face. Don't ruin my beautiful face.
French Tom: I should have never lowered my standards.
French Tom: How did I get this desperate?
French Tom: This isn't right at all.
French Tom: Get away from me. You're too poor to kill me.
French Tom: Your profile looked cute.
French Tom: Ewww. Disgusting man, get away from me.
(If Niko stands up while they are talking in the diner)
French Tom: Chill out, hot stuff. We haven't even eaten yet.
French Tom: You got a bad knee or something. Is that why you're standing?
French Tom: Do you want to go already? I'm not that easy, sweetie.
(Niko pulls out a weapon in the diner. Dialogue differs depending on the weapon.)
French Tom: You're packing heat? That makes me real uncomfortable. I'm outta here.
French Tom: Hey man, they've got cutlery here. You don't need to bring that shit out. Freak.
French Tom: You've got a gun? I'm not into that sick shit. GO play with some other methhead freak.
French Tom: I've seen guys pull weird shit out their pants but guns freak me out. Goodbye.
French Tom: Sports aren't cool, man. There are better balls to be playing with. I'm gone.
French Tom: Screw you. Are you trying to blow us up? Play with your own worthless life. Mine's too important.
French Tom: What the fuck? You're meant to drink those things not light them, you stupid shit. This date is over.
(Niko attacks Tom)
Tom: Did your daddy beat you? Is that why you're doing this?
Tom: Get the fuck off me. I don't want bruises.
Tom: You are not fucking with these clothes. Do you know how much they cost?
Tom: So, you are a freak from the internet.
Tom: You've got real intimacy issues.
(If the player doesn't check their emails, Roman will remind them through text messages)
Niko, have you heard from your boyfriend yet? Check your email at the Tw@ internet cafe. Rom
NB - you been on your gay date yet? I know you want to do it! Don't be nervous and check your emails. - Rom
Hey man, try not to fall in love with that guy when you go on a date with him. This is business not pleasure. He's probably emailed you by now. - Rom
Hey cuz, maybe it's all that juice, but Brucie is getting really anxious about you going on that date with French Tom or whatever. You checked your emails? - Rom
(If the player misses the date with French Tom)
Sorry, I couldn't make it. Doesn't that just make you all the more excited to meet me. I can be there at midnight. Xxx
I got held up by some fucking terrorist bullshit. It's such a fucking ass. I can be there at noon instead. C U then. xxx
Post mission phone call
Brucie: How was your date, bro?
Niko: Not so good. I don't think we'll be seeing each other again. I don't think he'll be seeing anyone.
Brucie: Nicky, you're an animal. Anyway, your profile is still up there, bro. There's all sorts of crazy bitches on that site you can get into. Real freaks, you know? I'd be getting involved in some of that internet dating shit but I only date models, you know? Or VIPs who could be models. Not many of them online, yeah? Catch you later, big guy. Laters.
Post mission text message
Read about your "hot date" on the Liberty Tree website, bro. That shit says you looked older, you gotta get some work done. Bro, I get shots the whole time. Don't get ashamed about looking good! - B
Failing the mission
Niko: Hey, man. The guy got away.
Brucie: Nicky, I thought you were into this? I thought you were gonna date this guy and deliver the goods, man? Come see me.
Missing the date
Brucie: Niko, what's happening? Don't tell me you fell in love with this guy and are running away with him or somethin'?
Niko: That didn't happen, man. I missed the date.
Brucie: What? That ain't cool. We'll talk soon.
(Dialogue which isn't heard in-game)
Niko: Brucie, I couldn't tell which one your boy was. Things got confusing.
Brucie: Give it to him hard, will you? Strange choice of words, but you know what I mean.
Brucie: He must want some action, bro. Give him some, okay?
Brucie: Insane man! Come back to my crib, Nicky.
Brucie: Man, you were meant to say you were after his cock, not him.
Brucie: Niko, it's me. I've got a date for you with this guy at midnight tonight.
Brucie: Niko! It's me. I've got a date for you with this guy today at 8am. Have fun.
Brucie: Niko, it's me. I've got a date for you with this guy today at noon. Enjoy it, bro.
Brucie: Niko, I've got a date for you with this guy tomorrow at 6pm. You better be there.
Brucie: Niko, I've got a date for you with this guy tomorrow at noon. Do it, will you?
Brucie: Niko, I've got a date for you with this guy tomorrow morning at 8am. Make it his last breakfast.
Brucie: Niko, I've got a date for you with this guy tomorrow night at midnight. Get rid of him.
Brucie: Niko, it's me. Listen, I've got a date for you with this guy today at 6pm tonight. Good luck.
Brucie: Niko. Hey, wake up! I've got a date for you with this guy, alright?
Brucie: No, I make sure my abs will be better than anyone else's.
Brucie: Shit, man, hopefully ain't good enough.
Niko: Sorry, Brucie. I think I let slip to your guy that I was after him.
Brucie: The internet dating is a bitch. Okay? Don't even know which guy it is you're screw.
Brucie: What's wrong with you, brother? We'll talk soon.
Niko: Yo, Brucie. I killed some guy. Hopefully it was the one you were after.
Brucie: You need to make sure in life. Come see me, bro.
Brucie: You think I work out until I'll hopefully have cut abs?