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I actually had to have a medical... uh, for this tour, | I actually had to have a medical... uh, for this tour, | ||
and I've had medicals before for TV work. | and I've had medicals before for TV work. | ||
And they just check your pulse, and go, "You're fine". | |||
But | But I went along to the doctor, and he said uh... | ||
"Oh its a bit more thorough then usual. You know its a big tour | "Oh its a bit more thorough then usual. You know its a big tour...we need a urine sample." | ||
I've never had to do that before, so ah... | I've never had to do that before, so ah... | ||
you know, | you know, I went to the toilet, filled up this little bottle he gave me, good as gold. Gave is back to him. He went, "Oh, can you strip down to your boxer shorts?" | ||
I thought, "this is thorough". | I thought, "this is thorough". | ||
So | So I stripped down to my boxer shorts, | ||
(''Ricky pretends to pull down his pants'') | (''Ricky pretends to pull down his pants'') | ||
"Ah for | "Ah for fu..." | ||
The one day | The one day I wear white boxer shorts... | ||
(''Ricky points to his groin area'') | (''Ricky points to his groin area'') | ||
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(''Laughter'') | (''Laughter'') | ||
So, now I strip down to my boxer shorts, and | So, now I strip down to my boxer shorts, and I go. "Oh god, I've wet myself, what can I do? I know!" | ||
(''Ricky pretends to pull off his | (''Ricky pretends to pull off his underwear and throws it behind him, he then stands with his hands on his hips'') | ||
(''Laughter'') | (''Laughter'') | ||
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do commandos not wear pants? | do commandos not wear pants? | ||
Why is it called goin' comm...? They must wear pants... | Why is it called goin' comm...? They must wear pants... | ||
I donno, any commandos in.. do you wear...? | I donno, any commandos in... do you wear...? | ||
(''Ricky pretends to be a commando as he ducks down and pretends hes holding a gun, he signals to imaginary people behind him'') | (''Ricky pretends to be a commando as he ducks down and pretends hes holding a gun, he signals to imaginary people behind him'') | ||
"Why you... | "Why you... | ||
Why | Why you not wearing pants?" | ||
(''Ricky gestures to the imaginary guy behind him'') | (''Ricky gestures to the imaginary guy behind him'') | ||
"What do you mean, cuz' | "What do you mean, cuz' we're commandos? They... | ||
There gonna see that, at least camoflage it!" | There gonna see that, at least camoflage it!" | ||
"Put a little... well, now its getting bigger. Why's it getting | "Put a little... well, now its getting bigger. Why's it getting bi...??? | ||
(''Laughter'') | (''Laughter'') | ||
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Go commando. | Go commando. | ||
But | But I am a bit overweight... | ||
I never worried about that before was famous. And | I never worried about that before was famous. And I'm not more vain now. | ||
It's that you read about youreslf... | It's that you read about youreslf... | ||
and the papers. They need an adjective. | and the papers. They need an adjective. | ||
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Rotund!?! | Rotund!?! | ||
That sounds like a giant fucking wombat! I'm not rotund! | That sounds like a giant fucking wombat! I'm not rotund! | ||
One called me a chubby | One called me a chubby funster! | ||
That's a gay porn name! | That's a gay porn name! | ||
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(''Ricky jogs on the spot'') | (''Ricky jogs on the spot'') | ||
Listening to some... sounds on my MP3 player. | |||
"Oh yeah, looking good" | "Oh yeah, looking good" | ||
Paparazzi got me. | Paparazzi got me. | ||
Full page in the paper the next day. With a headline... | Full page in the paper the next day. With a headline... | ||
" | "iPodge". | ||
(''Hysterical laughter'') | (''Hysterical laughter'') |
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