Test Drive/Script

The following is a script of the Test Drive mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Script

(Dwayne and Jethro are seen staring at a Remington and exchanging cigarettes when Mexican-American Varrios Los Aztecas gang leader Cesar Vialpando arrives, causing Jethro to throw it away. Garage owner Carl "CJ" Johnson is also present there.)

Cesar: Hey Carl, there's two cars on the list, ese, and they're in the showroom across town, let's go get them!

CJ: I've always admired your direct approach, hombre.

Cesar: (outside) OK, let's go get those wheels!

(Once having hopped over into a vehicle, they start having a conversation.)

Cesar: I like this place, you know.

CJ: Where?

Cesar: San Fierro, man. My home will always be the Varrios and El Corona, but this city, it has something gentle about it.

CJ: Yeah, I know what you mean. Kendl seems to like it to, you know?

Cesar: Oh yeah, she's really getting her head into this business thing.

CJ: That's good, she's always been the brains in the family. She should get out the ghetto and make something of herself.

Cesar: I think she's aiming to make something out of ALL of us, eh!

CJ: Yeah, she's the moms of the family now...

Cesar: Hey, who's this 'Truth' guy, holmes? I don't think he's wrapped too tight!

CJ: He just sees everything from a different perspective, that's all. At first I thought he was just another acid casualty fruit cake. But some of the things he say... I don't know, man, it ain't all bullshit...

Cesar: You gonna become an alien hunter, holmes?

CJ: I'll take a rain check on that one.

(Carl and Cesar arrive at Otto's Autos showroom.)

Cesar: This is the place! Hey man, the cars are upstairs! They're on the second floor.

CJ: Second floor? Aw great! Why is nothing ever easy?

(Carl and Cesar walk upstairs.)

Dealer: Can I help you two, errr, gentlemen?

CJ: Yeah, you can help by going to help some other motherfucker.

Dealer: Y- yeah, that sounds like a good idea!

Cesar: Alright, CJ, it's time to roll! It's follow the leader, you better keep up!

(Cesar drives out of the window in an Elegy.)

CJ: Aw, you a maniac, ese!

(Whilst on their respective vehicles and out of the showroom, they make chase back to the garage.)

Cesar: Hey, CJ, is this walkie talkie working?

CJ: Yeah, reading you loud and clear!

Cesar: C'mon, CJ, see if you can keep up with Cesar Vialpando! Beat the tram up the hill! Piece of chocolate cake!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city.)

Cesar: This tram driver must be shittng himself, holmes!

(San Fierro Police Department cars with teams of cops arrive waiting at the border of Calton Heights.)

Cesar: Hello cops, what took you, eh?

(A 2-star wanted level is attained. Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city.)

Cesar: Hey, CJ, watch this... NITRO!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city.)

Cesar: Follow me down the hill, holmes!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city.)

CJ: OK, Cesar, that's enough fun. Let's get these cars back to the garage!

Cesar: OK, CJ, hey, I know a quick route!

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage, but have a huge insane jump down in the process.)

Cesar: Holy SHIIIIIIIT! Fuck, holmes, did you see that!

CJ: Can we think about getting back before I end up in a carwreck barbeque?

Cesar: Sure thing, holmes.

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage.)

Cesar: There's a shotcut this way!

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage through an alleyway, but cops come blocking the path.)

Cesar: Uh-oh, more cops! BACK UP, HOLMES, BACK UP! BACK UP!

(Carl and Cesar escape the police.)

Cesar: OK, we're good! See you back at the garage, CJ!