Three's a Crowd/Script

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The following is a script of the mission Three's a Crowd in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Script

Roman: Come on Dardan, what's your problem?

Dardan: I don't have problem. You do.

(Bledar smashes Roman's computer)

Roman: Don't be a dick, man... come o...

(Bledar gets Roman in a headlock)

Dardan: Where's your Russian friend now, eh?

Roman: He's not my friend... he's my loan shark...

(Niko walks in)

Niko: Stop this.

Dardan: Who are you?

Niko: Get out of here.

Roman: Niko...

Niko: Yes.

(Niko grabs Dardan's arm and breaks it)

Dardan: Oh, my arm. Oh!

Niko: (to Bledar) And what about you?

(Bledar let's go of Roman and helps Dardan)

Dardan: Help me! Help me!

Niko: Come on, asshole!

Dardan: Bledar! Help me!

Niko: Get out of here now! And if you come back, I'll kill you! You understand?

(Roman picks up Dardan's knife and throws it at them)

Roman: You forgot this, you Albanian pricks!

Roman: Shit, Niko - what did you do?

Niko: He was going to stab me.

Roman: Now he's going to kill you!

Niko: Fuck him.

Roman: Look at this mess. Screwed! Again. You want to know why I'm not living in a nice condo, banging four women? It's because of shit like this. Assholes threatening me.

Niko: Shut up!

(Roman's phone rings)

Roman: Oh great... Mallorie. Hey, beautiful! Huh? Yeah... great. Uh... listen, I'm having a bit of a problem at the office... Umm, I can't do it - Niko can do it...

Niko: Huh? Do what?

Roman: Well why would you want me then? Well screw you, then. Great girl... can you do me a favor? Mallorie needs a lift. Can you go pick her up at the Hove Beach subway station?

Niko: Yeah...

Roman: Take the cab. She's got a friend with her. Maybe someone you can date!

Niko: Fuck you.

Roman: Oh, man, look at this crap. My computer and everything.

Dialogue

(Niko drives to the subway station)

Niko: Get in, ladies.

Mallorie: Hey Niko, thanks for coming. I should have known Roman would find some excuse not to turn up. This is Michelle.

Michelle: Hi. How are you? My place is over on Mohawk Avenue.

or:

Michelle: I live on Rotterdam Hill, up on Mohawk Avenue. You know where that is?

Mallorie: How're you finding American, Niko?

Niko: Not exactly what I expected.

Mallorie: Niko, you know what? You need someone to show you a good time. Michelle, how about you?

Michelle: Mallorie. Stop it!

Mallorie: Come on you guys. You're both single, you're adults. Take her number, Niko.

Michelle: Hey, I'd like to see you again, Niko. You look like that kind of guy I want to get to know.

Mallorie: You look like you just jumped off the boat, Niko. Handsome man like you should get some new threads.

Michelle: I think he looks fine the way he is.

Mallorie: I don't think he even changed out of those things on the journey. How you going to impress a class girl like Michelle?

Michelle: I'm easily impressed.

Mallorie: I know you are, sweetie, and I just don't get it.

(Niko drops the girls off)

Mallorie: Thanks for the lift, Niko.

Michelle: Yeah, thanks. Gimme a call sometime.

Niko: See you soon, Michelle.

(Niko calls Roman)

Niko: Cousin, I dropped the girls off. The friend gave me her number, but I don't think Mallorie likes my clothes so much.

Roman: I know just the place for you, it's on Mohawk in Hove. Go and get something a bit more twenty-first century.

Alternative dialogue

(Niko drives to the subway station)

Niko: Get in, ladies.

Mallorie: Hey Niko, thanks for coming. I should have known Roman would find some excuse not to turn up. This is Michelle.

Michelle: Hi. How are you? My place is over on Mohawk Avenue.

Niko: I can find it.

Mallorie: You're settling in pretty good, aren't you, Niko? You're staying with Roman, he got you a good job and all he needs to do now is find you a woman... what you think of Michelle here?

Michelle: Come on, Mallorie. This is embarrassing. Are you trying to set us up?

Mallorie: I'm trying to get you two together so Niko will stop taking up all of Roman's time.

Niko: I do not mean to keep Roman away from you.

Mallorie: I know you don't. He just loves you is all. And I think Michelle might too.

Michelle: Come on.

Mallorie: Alright, but you like him, right? You both like each other so why don't you just go on a date? It never hurt anyone. Here's her number, Niko.

Michelle: It sounds like we aren't being given much of a choice on this one.

Niko: No, I guess not.

Michelle: Well, you look like the kind of guy I'd like to get to know, Niko.

Mallorie: He looks like he can't afford to eat. Get yourself some nice clothes. You gotta look good if you're going to date a girl like Michelle.

Michelle: I don't know, I think he looks... interesting... foreign.

(Niko drops the girls off)

Mallorie: Thanks for the lift, Niko.

Michelle: Yeah, thanks. Gimme a call sometime.

Niko: See you soon, Michelle.

(Niko calls Roman)

Niko: Roman, I have taken your Mallorie and her friend where they wanted to go. Michelle gave me her number.

Roman: This is a good first step. The next step is to get some clothes that will impress. I know a good place for you on Mohawk in Hove Beach. Get something a bit more American.

Post mission phone call

Niko: Hey Roman, I got some clothes. It looks like they brought the stuff in from the Old Country though.

Roman: We must take what we get. When the big money rolls in, then we will look real classy. Anyway, you have Michelle. A classy girl for your arm. You should definitely keep dating her.

Other dialogue

Niko leaves the car

Mallorie: I gotta get my nails done, Niko.

Mallorie: Come on, Niko.

Failing the mission

Car is destroyed

Niko: Cousin, the car got screwed. I couldn't get your woman to her place.

Roman: Now I'm really in the doghouse. Thanks a lot, cousin.

Girls are killed

Niko: Cousin, I'm sorry. The girls have some injuries.

Roman: Niko, what am I to do? I need to trust you with some things. It better not be nothing serious.

Mallorie is killed

Michelle: What's wrong with you Niko?

Niko: Roman, I am sorry, but Mallorie... she got hurt.

Roman: Cousin, no. I should have driven her. Shit.

Michelle is killed

Mallorie: My god!

Niko: Cousin, Mallorie's friend, Michelle.. had an accident.

Roman: I hope it wasn't too serious. I thought you two would get on. I will call Mallorie.

Shop assistant is killed

Niko: Hey, Roman. Maybe I shouldn't be trusted to do my own shopping. Me and the shop assistant had a difference in opinion over the pricing.

Roman: Niko, what am I to do? I need to trust you with some things. It better not be nothing serious.

Unused dialogue

(Dialogue which isn't heard in-game)

Mallorie: Boring, stop talking about that. Talk about what it's like to be here.

Mallorie: Hey, I'd like it if you called me. You must get bored hanging out with your cousin and that asshole boss of his.

Michelle: How come all the TV shows about Liberty City are either about rampant sex or mindless violence or people being extremely rich? There's so much more to life here than that.

Niko: I do not think I will have trouble with that.

Michelle: I've been told that immigrants have a real problem being targeted by criminal gangs.

Michelle: Mallorie! So, Niko, you haven't seen any crime since you've been here, have you?

Mallorie: Show Niko what Liberty City is all about then. Not so much the violence but maybe a bit of the...

Mallorie: Vlad isn't so bad.

Niko: Where I am from, it is difficult to avoid. The same is true here it seems.

Michelle: You're not into that whole gangster thing, are you, Niko?