Jill Von Crastenburg

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Jill Von Crastenburg
[[Image::File:JillVonCrastenburg-GTAIV.JPG| ]]
Appearances [[Appearance::Grand Theft Auto IV]]
Full Name Jill Von Crastenburg
Gender Gender::Female
Date of Birth 1995
Place of Birth Liberty City
Age Now 22
Nationality American
Home Alderney
Family Mr. Von Crastenburg (father)
Mrs. Von Crastenburg (mother)
Vehicles Turismo

Jill Von Crastenburg is a character in the GTA IV era, appearing in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Background and personality

Jill Von Crastenburg is a Celebutante Socialite living in Alderney with billionaire parents. She is the best friend of Cloe Parker, a parody of Nicole Richie's (Jill's counterpart) friendship with Paris Hilton (Cloe's). It is notable that although Hilton and Richie were born less than a year apart, Cloe is anywhere from 5 to 11 years Jill's senior.

Jill is very sexually active and invoved with drug use, even though she is very young, and is extremely spoiled. According to the LCPD database she is only 13, although another source says she is a college dropout, but again confirms that she is only in her teens. She also has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. She had a three-week relationship with 14-years-older Cuban baseball player Ernesto Asaltacunas. She has been arrested for public lewdness. She hosts a reality show called "America's Sexiest Terrorist". Like her best/worst friend Cloe Parker, Jill enjoy's all the perk's of being a billionaire heiress living in Liberty City, like recieving a free Grotti sports car every christmas from the dealership and a lifetime-supply of food from any Burger Shot outlet in the American North-East (excluding Alderney, the "Freak State"). Jill's family the 'Von Crastenburg's are 'old 'East Coast' money, with a family fortune in the multible billions as of 2008 (estimated by Weazel News), the whole family enjoy a life of luxury and excess including an enormous 19 bedroom mansion in Westdyke, a 63 room estate somewhere Upstate and several private jet's including the luxurious Shammel. Like the Parker's (who have made their fortune in import\exporting) the Von Crastenburg's own majority share's in almost every major company in North America in industries such as Real Estate, Media, Oil, Hotels & Casinos and the CIA. it was reported by Im Rich that the Von Crastenburg's dont pay any Tax's because they claim to practice their relgion inside their home, making them 'True Americans'. Just like all the other 'DIY Debutantes' featured in Im Rich Jill's extravagance goes as far as having erotic images painted on her bedroom wall by a celebrity artist and owning a flying rabbit.

Events during the game

Not long after breaking up with Asaltacunas, she was featured on a sex tape (featuring her cheating on her boyfriend, as he paid their tab at a bar, by giving oral sex to a valet) that quickly circulated around the internet. It is very slightly based on Paris Hilton's sex tape, both being filmed in night vision. It first surfaced in www.electrictit.com but was removed from the site.

She was once forced to re-enact a tantrum for the paparazzi who were late and wanted to cover it.

LCPD Database information

Surname: Von Crastenburg

First Name: Jill

Age: 13

Place of Birth: Algonquin, Liberty City

Affiliations: N/A

Criminal Record:

  • 2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Cocaine
  • 2007 - Public Lewdness


  • Rich heiress and Algonquin socialite.
  • Regular on the Liberty City party circuit.
  • History of drug and alcohol abuse.
  • A sex tape, believed to feature Von Crastenburg, was recently circulated on the GTA IV internet.