Jill Von Crastenburg

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Jill Von Crastenburg
[[Image::File:JillVonCrastenburg-GTAIV.JPG| ]]
Appearances [[Appearance::Grand Theft Auto IV]]
Full Name Jill Von Crastenburg
Gender Gender::Female
Date of Birth 1995
Place of Birth Liberty City
Age Now 22
Nationality American
Home Alderney
Family Mr. Von Crastenburg (father)
Mrs. Von Crastenburg (mother)
Vehicles Turismo

Jill Von Crastenburg is a character in the GTA IV era, appearing in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Background and personality

Jill Von Crastenburg was born on July 14th, into the multi-billionaire Von Crastenburg family (an old-money family of New England said to own half of The Exchange in Algonquin). She, Cloe Parker and Kayla Paulo have been best friends since childhood, even though Jill is anywhere from 5 to 11 years younger than Cloe.

Since her 11th birthday and/or 2006, she has been internationally famous for her extreme wealth and presence on the Liberty City party circuit. She is frequently hounded by paparazzi - the most outlandish examples include her being told to re-enact a tantrum because cameramen were not at the scene, and media attention for her doing the most mundane activities (buying a carton of milk in a Downtown Los Santos supermarket and walking down the street in San Fierro)

In early 2008, she began a three-week relationship with Cuban baseball player Ernesto Asaltacunas. At the beginning of GTA IV she left him for a new boyfriend, and a sex tape was released of her cheating on him by giving oral sex to an Opium Nights valet, as her boyfriend paid the bar tab in the very next room. The tape quickly circulated on Electric Tit (a video sharing site akin to YouTube) but was removed from the site. Jill is also set to host a new reality TV show titled America's Sexiest Terrorist. By most sources she is only 13 years old during GTA IV, though her sexual activity and admittance to bars makes this highly unlikely. According to Our Own Reality she is a college droput, but they confirm that she is still in her teens.

Fame and wealth

The family own many large homes. Their official residence (though it is said to be a summer home) is a 19-bedroom mansion along Owl Creek Ave in Westdyke, Alderney. It is next door to her best friend and fellow celebutante Cloe Parker, and Jill's own bedroom has erotic fairytale images (such as Robin Hood) painted on walls and/or ceilings by a celebrity artist. Jill owns a flying rabbit as a pet. The family also owns a 63-room manor upstate and an enormous penthouse along Culombus Ave in the Middle Park East area of Algonquin. They own several private jets, one with its own health spa and screening room. The family also gives over $300 million per month to charities that they own and operate. Despite amassing one of the largest fortunes in the world, the Von Crastenburgs do not pay taxes by claiming to practice their religion inside their house, according to I'm Rich.

Jill herself is a well-paid spokeswoman, receiving a free Grotti sports car every christmas, and a lifetime supply of food from any Burger Shot outlet in the American North-East (excluding Alderney the Freak State).

LCPD Database information

Surname: Von Crastenburg

First Name: Jill

Age: 13

Place of Birth: Algonquin, Liberty City

Affiliations: N/A

Criminal Record:

  • 2006 - Possession Controlled Substance: Cocaine
  • 2007 - Public Lewdness


  • Rich heiress and Algonquin socialite.
  • Regular on the Liberty City party circuit.
  • History of drug and alcohol abuse.
  • A sex tape, believed to feature Von Crastenburg, was recently circulated on the GTA IV internet.
  • Best friends with fellow heiresses Cloe Parker and Kayla Paulo


  • Jill's friendship with Cloe Parker is a parody of Nicole Richie's (Jill's counterpart) friendship with Paris Hilton (Cloe's). It is notable that although Hilton and Richie were born less than a year apart, Cloe is much older than Jill.
  • She is the only minor listed in the LCPD Database.
  • Jill is likely based on real-life socialite and billionaire heiress Amanda Hearst, despite being over a decade younger then her real-life couterpart they do resemble each other
  • A pedestrian strongly resembling Jill can be seem sometimes in the middle of Star Junction standing next to a black Stretch (although this can just be a flook)