Talk:Vicefree Bus Line

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My Changes

There wasn't enough room in the edit summary to explain all of my changes, and I couldn't just say "cleanup", because many of them were changes that have previously been reverted.

Firstly, this is not a stub. A stub is an article that could be useful, but in it's current state serves no useful purpose. For articles that are useful already, but could be even more useful (contain more information), use {{expand}}, but I honestly think that this article is very complete - What else can be said about it?

As for that line "There is an undocumented and largely unknown mini game in GTA Vice City, which goes like this:" The part that I made bold sounds very unprofessional in my opinion, like part of a conversation, rather than encyclopaedic information. The sentence makes perfect sense without that line. Thoughts?

About the line "(provided that there are pedestrians waiting to be picked up)", that's actually incorrect. From memory, any pedestrian that walks past close enough will enter the bus, am I correct? Even if I'm wrong, and not every pedestrian that walks past enters, still many do, which still renders that sentence incorrect - Thoughts?

Also, the "...serves Vice City and Vice City alone" line doesn't sound right to me. In spoken language, tone and speed allow for you to give the intended meaning, but in written language, it is left to the reader to interpret this, and "Vice City and Vice City" sounds wrong without the intended tone. The sentence makes perfect sense as just "serves Vice City alone", but perhaps that could be changed to something that communicates the meaning even better (without the confusion of "serves Vice City alone", as in, "the only bus line to serve Vice City")? Thoughts?

While I'm writing this, I might as well mention something else: Is it really true that the mini game is largely unknown? It's not hard to find out about it, all you have to do is be driving a bus fairly slowly in an area close to a bus stop (it's actually happened to me driving quite fast...). Also, it's heavily documented on the Internet. JFletcherTalk (formerly User:Biggest gta fan ever) 06:07, 14 May 2011 (BST)