Departure Time/Script

The following is a script of the mission Departure Time in The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Script

Luis: Hey.

Tony: Fuck off, Luis.

(Tony aims a pistol at Luis)

Luis: Aye Dios Mio. Haven't we been through this already?

Tony: Been through the fact you wanted to kill me? Been through the fact you are far from alone in that desire? This is over. It's over. I just want to go some place far away from here and quietly wait to die. I lived it. I lived it hard and now, I'm ready to end it.

Luis: Oh shut up, you hysterical fucking queen. Get a grip, bro.

Tony: Oh, yes, silly me. Silly fucking me...huh? The Russian mob want me dead, my best friend just contemplated murdering me, the mob are on my case, I'm massively in debt and I just lost 2 million dollars worth of diamonds. Any other man would just dust himself off and carry on.

Luis: Look, ok, I'm sorry I thought about killing you. I really am. But if you keep up with the bullshit, I might have to kill you for real.

Tony: Fuck off, Luis.

Luis: No, you fuck off, Tony. I didn't kill you. I wanted to. Why? Because you've become a useless junkie fuck, that's why. But I didn't. And now it's you and me, against the world. Okay? And if your brains ain't working right, then I'll make the decisions for us, okay? It's Bulgarin or us. Or you can shoot us both, and make his life easy for him.

Tony: Well...you're kind of clever aren't you? I only hired you because I thought you were dumb.

Luis: Yeah thank you very much.

Tony: You're welcome very much.

Luis: Are you coming now?

Tony: Yes I'm coming now. Well let's go, come on.

Dialogue

Tony: One of my less salubrious associates told me Bulgarin was in on his H deal at Fun Land on Firefly.

or:

Tony: I heard Bulgarin was moving some smack out at the Fun Land on Firefly Island.

Tony: So, say we find them, what are we gonna do then?

Luis: We gonna take out their income stream and then we gonna take them out. End this bullshit.

Tony: Okay. I'm armed, I'm dangerous. Let's fucking do this!

Luis: Come on, T, give me a break.

Tony: What? We're in this together!

Luis: Tony, bro, I love you, but I should handle this alone. I don't want you getting yourself killed.

Tony: Then you're gonna have to punch me out again, Lou!

Luis: Don't make me, man. You know you just gonna slow me down, bro, and kill us both. I want at least one of us to survive.

Tony: Lou...

Luis: Look, T. Don't go home. Don't go to the clubs. Don't go nowhere anyone might conceivably think to look for you.

Tony: There aren't many places like that left in the City, I'm afraid.

Luis: Come on. Where you think you can hide that no one would expect?

Tony: I have no fucking clue. Err Dukes? I ran away from there when I was a kid and I swore blind I'd never go back, apart from to catch a plane.

Luis: Okay, cool. Hit up, like, err, that Monoglobe monument thing in Meadows Park. Hang out for a few hours. If I survive this shit, I'll find you. If I don't show, then I'm gone. Move to Brazil. Move somewhere. Don't ever look back, T.

Tony: I thought I was the annoying drama queen in this pairing.

Luis: I'm serious, T. This is my last testament. Yo, send some money to my mom sometimes, and tell her I love her.

Tony: Okay, Lou. Shit. You'll be fine. Shit. No one in this whole crazy town is crazy enough to take you down.

(Luis drives to Funland)

Luis: Later, T.

Tony: Shit, Lou. Look after yourself.

(Tony leaves and Luis enters Funland)

Timur: Now Rascalov is dead, we have sole claim to the junk.

or:

Timur: Now we own junk trade in Liberty. Anyone need package, they must deal with us.

Timur: Tell people Timur and Mr. Ray have serious package now. We own H trade in Liberty.

(Luis begins to fight the Russians)

Luis: This Ray Bulgarin's smack, motherfuckers? Where is he?

or:

Luis: Where's Bulgarin? We got a score to settle.

Luis: Tell Ray there's an angry Dominican here to see him.

Luis: Ray! Ray, come out, you puto.

Luis: Timur! Where you at, bitch?

Luis: I ain't dead yet, bitches.

Luis: Timur! Bulgarin! Come on, motherfuckers.

Luis: Where's Bulgarin?

Luis: You guys tried to kill me one too many times.

Luis: Come out, motherfuckers!

Luis: Come on! Come on!

Luis: You miss me?

Luis: Yo. This is personal.

(Luis destroys the heroin shipments)

Luis: You ain't making no money today.

Luis: Bye bye, birdie.

Luis: Shit, did I just do that.

Luis: There goes your profit margin.

Luis: Say no to drugs motherfucker.

Luis: This your big business idea. Fuck you.

Luis: I ain't letting you make no profit.

(Luis kills all the Russians on one side of the park)

Luis: Fools must be on the other side.

or:

Luis: Damn. They gotta be hiding out round the other side.

Luis: They gotta be on the other side of the park.

(Luis destroys the rest of the heroin and finds Timur on the other side of the park)

Timur: Mr. Ray flies away now pretty, boy. You are too late to get him.

Luis: Fuck you.

Timur: You think he will forget about you? You and all your friends are dead.

Luis: Yeah, that ain't happening Timmy.

(Timur shoots at Luis but he takes cover while Timur flees)

Timur: Shot his pretty face off!

or:

Timur: Kill the American!

Timur: Rip him apart!

Timur: Two in the chest and two in the head!

Timur: Take down the pussyman!

(Luis corners Timur)

Timur: I always told Mr. Ray you were too weak.

Luis: Yeah, well, I'm strong enough to kill your ass.

Timur: This is not so hospitable, Mr. Hospitality man.

Luis: Yeah, we always had a clientele policy, and you don't cut it.

Timur: This is embarrassment.

Timur: Do it already, wimp.

Timur: I don't get what Mr. Ray saw in you.

Timur: You are joke, pretty boy.

Timur: Where your fag master?

(Luis kills Timur)

Luis: Time's up, Timmy.

(Luis then gets on a bike and Yusuf calls him)

Yusuf: Luis. What's happening?

Luis: I can't talk, bro. Shit's really coming apart?

Yusuf: What do you need? Let me help you out.

Luis: There ain't nothing you can do, Yusuf. If this crazy Russian fuck manages to leave the country, it's over for me and Tone. I got to get down the Dukes Expressway without any number of Russian assassins taking me down, or we're done. Why am I even saying this? Wish me luck, bro.

(Luis gets to Dukes Expressway where Yusuf arrives in his Buzzard and destroys a car of Russian hitmen)

Yusuf: Luis, bro, do not fear, Yusuf's here. I found you, motherfucker.

or:

Yusuf: I heard you were here, man. Yusuf's here to save the day. Again!

Yusuf: Yusuf's fucking here! A bad ass A-rab with a mechanical camel.

Luis: Yusuf? Shit, bro.

or:

Luis: Yusuf? You crazy bastard.

Luis: Damn, Yusuf. You resourceful.

Yusuf: You! Over there! You fuck with Luis Lopez you get one angry fucking Arab on your ass!

Yusuf: I'm going to fuck you up!

Yusuf: You dumb bastard trying to screw with Luis Lopez! Bring it on, bitches!

Yusuf: Shit. What fucking button do I press?

Yusuf: Come on, you motherfuckers.

Yusuf: Boom! Boom! Kapow, motherbitches!

Yusuf: You weren't expecting this, were you, assholes?

Luis: Don't blow me up, bro.

Luis: Don't fuck with that guy.

Luis: He's a heavily armed motherfucker.

Yusuf: You the man, Lopez. Kick their asses.

or:

Yusuf: Good luck, Luis. Get that motherfucker.

Yusuf: Go give 'em hell, Luis.

Luis: Thanks, Yusuf.

or:

Luis: Wish me luck, motherfucker.

Luis: Yusuf, you a fucking hero, bro.

(Luis chases after the Ghawar jet)

Luis: You ain't getting away from me.

(Luis boards the plane and it takes off)

Bulgarin: I was hoping to see you, Luis.

Luis: Yeah 'Cause I came here looking for you. Eh-oh, you trying to leave without saying goodbye?

Bulgarin: No. I would have come back to finish things with you. Are you glad to be back with your homo master?

Luis: Hey, I don't know what the hell I was thinking hangin with you, asshole. You're a fucking joke, man. All the money in the world and you can't get shit done.

Bulgarin: I will get you done, you bitch.

(Luis kills the Russians and Bulgarin emerges from the cockpit with a grenade)

Bulgarin: I have grenade. You kill me we all die.

Bulgarin: You're too much of a pussy to do anything.

Bulgarin: You want to die, be my guest.

Bulgarin: Lack of balls was always your problem.

Bulgarin: We got a stale mate, asshole.

(Luis prepares to kill Bulgarin)

Bulgarin: You can't shoot me. You will blow whole plane up.

Luis: I'll take my chance.

(Luis kills Bulgarin and the grenade destroys the plane. Luis then parachutes from the burning wreckage)

Luis: Overworked and underpaid. Ay Conos.

Alternate dialogue

Tony: This is our last chance, ain't it, Lou? We've got to take down Bulgarin and all his people. It's our one shot to survive.

Luis: For me, maybe.

Tony: What do you mean? If we go down, we go down together.

Luis: Tony, man, I ain't gonna take you into a fiesta full of angry Russian gangsters.

Tony: It's not like I haven't been in my share of fire fights, Lou. By now, I'm a seasoned veteran by anyone's fucking standards!

Luis: I know that, bro, but there's no point in you coming in there. You can go off and die alone on some beach somewhere. Or the desert. Like you was just saying to me. Leave town, bro.

Tony: Okay, then you come too. Fuck Ray Bulgarin, fuck the mob, fuck the loan sharks, fuck the angry triads, the moaning celebrities, fuck everybody, Lou. We'll leave town and start all over. New clubs, someplace else. If I can do it, you can too.

Luis: It ain't like that for me Tone. I still got my family here in LC. Maybe you turned your back on where you was from when you was a kid, but that ain't something I can really do. The Heights is my home man. Always will be. Nothing's worth shit if I can't go back there.

Tony: You're serious about this, aren't you? You're gonna walk in there alone.

Luis: Yeah I'm serious. You got to hide out for a bit, T. I'll come find you if all our troubles go away, but if I don't show, you got to run.

Tony: Okay, shit. I'll do that. Where should I hide?

Luis: Go somewhere no one's gonna find you. Maybe back to Dukes? Ain't nobody gonna look for you there.

Tony: Dukes? Alright. I'll wait for you in Middle Park by that silly Monoglobe. You are gonna make it, L. I know it.

Luis: We'll see.