Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Script
Niko Bellic: Hey.
Gerald McReary: Yeah?
Niko Bellic: What's wrong?
Gerald McReary: There's good news and there's bad news. The good news is everything is together. The bad news? It ain't gonna make a blind bit of difference to me.
Niko Bellic: Uh? What do you mean?
Gerald McReary: Do you want me to spell it out?
Niko Bellic: No, I guess not.
Gerald McReary: Thanks. Packie will give you a call and explain. The ex-boyfriend of your girl, he's gonna agree to the divorce terms. Unfortunately, it turns out he wasn't our only problem. Some other crap has turned up. I don't think I'll be getting out anytime soon. Been a great laugh. Look after yourself. Yeah.
Patrick McReary: Niko, me and Gracie is waiting for you just off Frankfort Avenue in Northwood. Looks like our joyful time with her is coming to an end.
Niko Bellic: That's a fucking tragedy. We should throw her a goodbye party.
Patrick McReary: That's the plan. Hopefully someone might bring a big present for us to this shindig as well. Maybe a big bag of diamonds will help us get over the pain of losing her. We're waiting for ya, man.
Niko Bellic: Hey, man.
Patrick McReary: Alright, Niko. The exchange is over on Charge Island at the water treatment plant.
Niko Bellic: Packie, my man. How are you and Gracie getting on?
Patrick McReary: Like a house on fire, ain't that right, Gracie?
Gracie Ancelotti: You fucking bastards.
Patrick McReary: See, she was just telling me how much she loved me. What do ya think of Niko, Gracie?
Gracie Ancelotti: I fucking hate the both of you.
Patrick McReary: Gracie, watch your mouth. Niko is a good friend of mine. Don't say that about him.
Gracie Ancelotti: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Patrick McReary: Gracie, you're sweet. I know I'm too good for him, but sometimes a guy has got to hang out with lowlifes like Niko here. He's got his uses.
Gracie Ancelotti: I'll give you some fucking uses.
Patrick McReary: That's right, he is definitely a bad influence on me.
Gracie Ancelotti: Motherfucker.
Gay Tony: Gracie, you alright? The bastards didn't hurt you, did they?
Patrick McReary: She can't speak. We got a gag in her mouth.
Gay Tony: Give her back, you animals. She's suffered enough.
Patrick McReary: Hand over the stuff.
Gay Tony: Hand over Gracie! I'm here for you, sweetie.
Patrick McReary: Hand over the fucking stuff!
Niko Bellic: Alright, calm down. Both of you.
Luis Fernando Lopez: We put the ice in the middle, we walk back. Then you send over the girl. We leave and you pick up the stuff. Entiende?
Niko Bellic: Sure, show us the goods.
Gay Tony: Come back to me, honey.
Niko Bellic: Let her go.
(Packie releases Gracie and she leaves with Tony and Luis. Bulgarin arrives at the scene)
Ray Bulgarin: Niko Bellic, how is it that whenever something is stolen from me you are not far away?
Niko Bellic: I have never stolen anything from you, Mr. Bulgarin.
Ray Bulgarin: These men. The big faggot and his Dominican bitch, they stole my diamonds. And you have been trying to rob the thieves. To rob me. Kill them all!
(Bulgarin leaves and his men attack Niko and Packie)
Patrick McReary: I don't care what you did to that man, but we ain't leaving here without them diamonds.
Patrick McReary: I think I know who's got the ice. Follow me.
(Niko and Packie fight their way through Bulgarin's men)
(Niko and Packie corner the guy with the ice)
Patrick McReary: Give us that fucking ice, you're trapped. We'll let you go if you give 'em up.
Russian Goon: I'm screwed either way. If I don't give you the diamonds, you kill me here and you take 'em. I do give you the diamonds, Mr. Bulgarin kills me later. Don't nobody having them. Screw all of you!
Niko Bellic (in Serbian): Fucked up, as usual!
Patrick McReary: You selfish piece of cocksucking shit!
(Niko and Packie kill the goon)
Patrick McReary: Serves you right, you selfish cocksucking piece of shit.
Patrick McReary: Shit, I don't wanna spend another minute in this crap-hole, let's get outta here.
- On the way back from Charge Island, the dialogue differs depending on whether or not "Pest Control" has been completed yet. If it has, Niko and Packie will talk more about Bulgarin, but if Ray Boccino is still alive, Niko will tell Packie about the botched diamond deal at the Libertonian.
If Pest Control hasn't been completed
Patrick McReary: Fuck, fuck, fuck. All that trouble for nothing. Kidnapping the bitch, holding on to her, fighting through them damn Russians... all of that for jack shit.
Niko Bellic: Look on the bright side, at least you got to meet Gracie.
Patrick McReary: Screw that. I got close to knocking her teeth out. That was about it. We ain't got shit now. Maybe we was going to have to give up them diamonds to fucking Ray Boccino but we woulda got a payday. Now we ain't getting shit.
Niko Bellic: Yeah, but there is no guarantee we woulda made any money out of those diamonds anyway. I've got a suspicion those were the ones Ray Boccino got me to handle a while back. They're back luck. Me and some biker had to try to sell them to a diamond dealer and it turns into a blood bath. That was when those friends of Gracie's must have gotten them.
Patrick McReary: Stole 'em from you, did they?
Niko Bellic: No, they stole them from the guys I sold them to. Shit, these diamonds have been trouble since Ray first made me take them out of a trash can for him. Is good they are on their way to a landfill somewhere. Best place for them. The population of Liberty City would have been higher if we had.
Patrick McReary: You might be right, Niko. Whose fucking diamonds where they anyway?
Niko Bellic: They were not Ray's, I can tell you this much. Maybe they belong to his homosexual man, Gracie's friend. I don't know. Maybe to Bulgarin.
Patrick McReary: Bulgarin, he the motherfucker who busted up our peaceful hostage exchange? What in Christ's name went on back they're anyways?
Niko Bellic: Some time ago, I worked for Mr. Bulgarin in Europe, smuggling people across the Adriatic. A ship sunk, the cargo sunk to the bottom of the sea, I had to swim for my life. Bulgarin lost a lot of money that night and he needed someone to blame. This was one of the reasons I leave Europe and come here to Liberty City.
Patrick McReary: And now he shows up claiming the ice belongs to him? What are the chances?
Niko Bellic: Our paths crossed back when I was living in Hove Beach as well. My cousin and I moved up to Bohan to get away from him and another man called Dimitri Rascalov.
Patrick McReary: That's a real shame, I can see you fitting right in down in Hove Beach, Niko. Probably a good thing you got out though. Wouldn't a met me if you'd stayed, would ya?
Niko Bellic: When you put it like this, I'm one lucky motherfucker, Packie.
If Pest Control has been completed
Patrick McReary: Jesus Christ, why did that moron have to throw the ice away? It was just plain selfish.
Niko Bellic: There's always one who ruins it for everybody else in the class.
Patrick McReary: You're telling me. We woulda let him live. He coulda walked away from there. Instead, he's fucked and the diamonds are who knows where.
Niko Bellic: A lot of people are going to be upset about that.
Patrick McReary: My brother, Gerald, is going to be one of them people. There ain't much that could cheer him up now that he thinks he's doing serious time but this is really gonna piss him off. It's gonna be a nice thing to mull over. You know, while he's staring at them metal bars for the next decade or so.
Niko Bellic: A guy like Gerry can still do stuff in the joint. He organized this kidnapping shit, didn't he? It can't be the only card he's got to play.
Patrick McReary: Fuck, he weren't too chipper the last time I spoke to him and he's gonna be a long way from chipper when I tell him what went down. If I can get what went on straight in my head in the first place, that is. Okay, so we exchanged Gracie for some diamonds that Ray used to have. Then some Russian turns up saying they're his. Then everything goes to shit. That's about right, isn't it?
Niko Bellic: There's nothing right about this situation, but that would be an accurate description of what went down. The Russian is called Ray Bulgarin, I worked for him on the Adriatic, he thought I stole from him and he came after me. I had to leave Europe because of him.
Patrick McReary: And they were his diamonds?
Niko Bellic: I don't know about that. They're nobody's now. The only thing that makes me smile about this shit is that Bulgarin does not have the ice. Piece of shit does not even stay at a fight to see the outcome. Just leaves his boys to clear up.
Patrick McReary: We was outnumbered, Niko. I can see how he thought it was covered.
Niko Bellic: This is not the first time he has assumed that I will be killed by some of his employees. Hopefully one day I will be able to teach him his lesson by putting a bullet though the back of his head.
Patrick McReary: You're not meant to say what you wish for out loud. It won't come true if you do. That rule even works for wishes as cheerful as yours.
Patrick McReary: Well, Niko. That was a whole load of effort for no fucking reward. Story of my life.
Niko Bellic: It is the story of a lot of lives, Packie. I'm getting used to hearing it.
Patrick McReary: See you Niko, I've got to go break the news to Gerald. At least I'm gonna be on the other side of some bulletproof glass to him. You know what, I'm still fucking scared.
Niko Bellic: Good luck.