Epsilon Program

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Religion in Grand Theft Auto games is a mystery. The five main religions are never mentioned, in fact, the only religion mentioned is the Epsilion Program

The Epsilon Program is a fictional religious cult across a number of GTA games, led by Cris Formage. The cult first emerged as a teaser site for GTA San Andreas.

The cult is an obvious scam, intended to gain money by brainwashing its followers into paying large sums of money. This is similar to real-life cults in the late 20th century.

The first facts about Epsilon cult emerged in late 2005. It is believed that there is a fictional cult in the game with its followers who worship Krant and Kifflom. If the player cracks the mystery of the cult, eventually he will be able to go to a secret location, called Puerto Amarilla Valley.

Rockstar have not denied this myth, like they did with many others.

Clues

The mystery of Epsilon was revealed through several means:

  • Rockstar Games set up the teaser website dedicated to the cult
  • There are numerous mentions of Epsilon on various radio stations
  • Lazlow hosts the talk show with cult's leader
  • Many pedestrians or special characters talk about the cult, and some say, that they are Kifflom's followers.
  • Many map references

Website

The Epsilon Program website includes lots of info about Epsilon, such as the twelve tenets of Kifflom:

  1. The world is 157 years old, and it doesn't age
  2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak
  3. You are happy, you just don’t know it
  4. We all come from the same tree
  5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair
  6. Sperm does not exist - it is a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told
  7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day
  8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm
  9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them
  10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure
  11. If you believe this and turn you hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed
  12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

The site also features a drawing of a possible descendant of Krant, bearing a large birthmark on the face.

There site contains a page about the Tract, which is expected to hold the truth about Epsilon. However, the site states that the tract has not yet been written. There is an address in Grand Canaria to send a cheque to, from which you would supposedly be sent a copy of the Tract. Grand Canaria is well known as a tax haven and offshore location for many dubious companies.

Cris Formage tells us in his wonderful book, It Happened To Us All, that the TRACT will be written when we are all ready. However, Cris is also very clear on another point - although the TRACT has not yet been written, it can still be read by those that are willing to read it.


Pedestrians and Characters

The followers of the Epsilon cult are included in, but not limited to, the following list:

  • People with rucksacks, who can be seen near Verdant Bluffs area, often talk about Epsilon
  • Katie, CJ's nurse girlfriend, says that "cult nut-jobs freak me out"
  • Old Reece, who has a salon in Idlewood, Los Santos, also talks about the cult
  • Cult leader Cris Formage is interviewed by Lazlow on the radio

Map references

One place, "The farm. Cult location", is shown on the map provided with GTA San Andreas. The farmhouse windows are glowing blue at night, unlike any other window in the game which glow yellow.

Another place associated with cult is located near The Big Ear. When looked at closely, the pattern of light and dark areas of sand form an image very similar to the one featured on the web-site, and indeed looks like a face of Krant's descendant. There are ghost town and abandoned vehicles nearby, which made the theory that Epsilon is somehow connected to this place even stronger.

There is a house in the desert, which was connected with Epsilon by various people. It is so-called "bunker", which is located west of the abandoned airstrip. The house is interesting, because there are no people or cars nearby - the force of Epsilon is believed to keep them away and only cult members can go closer. The house was featured in famous 4 AM series.

Many people have claimed seeing a yellow entrance trinagle in the sky over the Cluckin' Bell take-away in the desert, but noone has managed to provide a screenshot of it. The yellow door in the sky is believed to be the entrance to the Puerta Amarilla Valley, which means Yellow Door in Spanish.

One of the "facts", featured on the web-site, is that "Sperm doesn't exist". However, the patch of grass, south of Back o' Beyond looks very much like a sperm, which made people believe, that this place may be somehow be related to Epsilon. There are a number of ghost cars nearby and also a so-called "Suicide path"

There are a number of red beat-up Sadlers and Glendales, which can be seen almost in any area of San Andreas.

The old warehouse in Montgomery has got an adandoned car park next to it. On the sign it reads "Red County truck depot" with first letter "t" being worn out. However, when read vertically it reads "Red truck, County depot". The warehouse behind it glows blue at night. Although there is nothing else in the game that proves the depot's links with Epsilon, this building is worth considering as Epsilon-related.

In the teaser video, which can be found on The official GTA:SA web-site under Media>Video>First trailer a red Walton can be seen driving across the Sherman Dam. This enforces the theory that the Dam is the pass mentioned on Epsilon web-site.

Another place which often comes up when Epsilon is discussed is the fisherman's house north of the abandoned airstrip. There is a beaten up Sadler near it, and people claim that during the dawn hours it always spawns red. Interesting thing is that before you can reach the truck you have to go under the motorway bridge (pass) which also satisfies the theory.

Puzzle

The Epsilon website gives players the opportunity to "become one of the children of Kraff" by visiting a particular location:

Join us in something special and become one of the children of Kraff.

Travel through the dawn to the pass pictured in our brochures. Look for a red truck with a dent on the right fender. Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom." We'll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Krant, and both be praised.

Blindfold required.



Travel through the dawn to the pass pictured in our brochures.


Dawn means that it has to be morning or an evening. As there are no brochures available, many refer to Rockstar's book for San Andreas. The only picture taken at dawn there is the picture of Sherman dam. Apparently, it fits the idea ideally, as it is a "pass" at the same time - it links two islands. Another proof of possible connection to Epsilon is the official GTA: SA trailer. First few seconds feature red truck (Walton, not Sadler) travelling across the dam. This is seen by some as a possible hint to the solution to Epsilon secret.


Look for a red truck with a dent on the right fender.


There are a number of Sadler trucks, found around San Andreas which have been smashed. One of them can be found next to the fisherman's hut north from the abandoned airstrip, another in the forests of Back o' Beyond, there are few more in other places. Picking the one near the airstrip makes more sense, as it is located most closely to the dam. Please note, that Sadlers always spawn in different colours, so you may want to come back again to make sure you have got a red one.


Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom."


CJ can raise his hand, if he is aiming his gun and then looks back. In that case the gun will be pointed upwards and so will be his arm. CJ cannot be made to talk, and so no players have managed to make anything happen, nor gain access to the Puerta Amarilla Valley. Also, when using hand-to-hand combat CJ puts his left arm up when he blocks.

Rumours

There are a number of rumours, most of which are believed don't have any backup. Some popular myths have originated from jblend's blog where he stated a number of things, the most popular being:

If you see the number one, then you're on your way. Only true believers of Kifflom (praise!!!) can enter the portals. So Keep listening to the trees and I am sure that you'll find your path. If you learn the true meaning of Kifflom (praise him!!!) then you can enter the golden portals of Puertas Amarillas Valley.


Although it is not very plausible, the author claimed to be working for Rockstar, thus making many players looking for number 1 in game or looking for the trees with weird shapes in the woods. It was believed that under certain circumstances you will be able to hear the tree talking; or, once you saw the tree ("number one" in the sequence) everything else will be revealed by the game itself without the need for player's interaction. This is often linked with floating tree, walk-through tree and LOD trees which do not have anything to do with Epsilon.

Another famous rumour describes what you have to wear (or to do) in order to trigger the mission start.

  1. Desert Eagle
  2. Camera
  3. Cane
  4. Blue clothes and hat from Didier Sachs
  5. Blue sneakers from Prolaps
  6. Night Vision Goggles
  7. Joke Mask from Binco
  8. Red Truck (Sadshit)
  9. Red Haircut
  10. Cross chain from Didier Sachs
  11. Cross, R.I.P, and Grave Tattoos (there is only one combined R.I.P. and Grave tatoo in the game though)
  12. Spend $10,000 at a casino
  13. Go with 9 prostitutes in a week


The "9 prostitutes" are related to one of the tenets of Epsilon: "Lie with 9 partners a week". In Lazlow's talk show Cris Formage also says: "Lie with 9 partners a week, it explains everything."

Having a cane in weapons slot seems to be based on another Cris's quote: "Touch my cane" which he orders Lazlow to do.