Futuro FM Script
Woman: Live high, live through, live Zaibatsu...
Man: It’s brutal, and inexcusable: Dean Frantz, life, from rehab.
Dean Frantz: Er... This is me, Dean Frantz, at Futuro FM, The hot-spot on your dail. We got the Top 100 coming up. And a free Futuro FM T-shirt for whoever calls in at number 50, the first one to call.
(Song: Reed - "L.E.D.")
Dean Frantz: So I was driving to work, the other day. I decided I needed some smokes to get me through, you know. So I pull over, park the car, go in the store, come out A MINUTE LATER... The car is gone! Stolen! Fifth time this month! These people, these carthieves, joyriders... I tell you, I wish they all had one big neck, so I could put my hands around it, and choke the living life out of all of them all at once! Hey, here’s a word from our sponsors...
Woman: Hmmm, cold, hard chocolate!
Man: Surge after surge of creamy caramel.
Woman: Melts in your mouth...
Man: ...and in your hand..!
Woman: Orgasmo bars of forbidden chocolate sensation! Oh, it’s huge!
Man: Bite off more than you can chew!
Man: He’s been around for a few days, but he still plays some hits: Dean Frantz.
Woman: The Zaibatsu Corporation are friends of the good times.
Dean Frantz: Hey, kids and kiddies, remember: If you see that Zaibatsu Van driving around town today, call in and win yourself a couple of tickets to the ball game this weekend.
(Song: Davidson - "All I Wanna Do")'
Dean Frantz: Have you ever considered death? I know I hadn’t until a friend pointed out that it comes to us all. Now, we’ve got a competition in conjunction with our sponsors Zaibatsu. You could win yourself a five-star top-of-the-line funeral! Absolutely free! No embarassed kids at the gravesite. Stay tuned after the news for details.
Man: And now: The News!
Jill Tasker: Hi, this is Jill Tasker, and I've got your Entertainment News! Some of the biggest names in radio are heading over to Largo this evening. Johnny Riccaro and Phanny Joe Styles will be in attendence. We’ll have Celina Farence for details, right after this.
Woman: Zaibatsu: helping you, to help yourself!
Woman: Polution is clouding over the city this evening, the CO-count is 12.1. This weather is brought to you by OxiPure; Please breath our world, not theirs.
Man: Ah, that’s better.
Man: How you feeling? Not very happy? Stress and strain of everyday life grinding you down? Djinny’s a new herbal medicen from Krishna Medicine designed to aid you through everyday life. As an easy conversion to Krishna ways, Genie can fulfill your lifetime wishes. For peace and unconditional love, straight from a bottle. Genie: Why have three wishes when you only need one?
Man: Here’s you Oz-DJ: Dean Frantz.
Dean Frantz: I tell you... Cops... They're everywhere these days... I-I-I can’t walk down the street without someone asking me for my ID. Some men in blue telling me: “Who are you?!” I’m Dean Frantz, I don’t need to show you my ID! I mean... Cops everywhere, but is there ever a cop when you need one? NO!!
(Song: Spangly Feet - "Dazed & Confuzed")
Dean Frantz: I tell you, I’m sitting in this, er... radio station, in the booth here, i’m surrounded by, err, what? FIFTEEN OTHER PEOPLE?! Okay, but I am all alone. Is this a problem? Can somebody do something? That’s all I ask for, a little help! But no! It’s just me, in the booth...
(Song: Stylus Exodus - "Toucan Pie")'