Jack Howitzer

Revision as of 00:28, 15 July 2010 by CountDruckula (talk | contribs)

Jack Howitzer is a character in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories. He claims to have appeared in over 40 films before his prison stint. Howitzer's most notable role was as Tim, a war hero from the Evacuator films.

Biography

Jack Howitzer's earliest known films, Evacuator and Push-Up, were released in 1984. He also appears on the radio that year in a commercial for Little Lacy Surprise and as an imaging voice on Emotion 98.3. In 1986 he appeared in the Evacuator sequel, titled Exploder: Evacuator Part II. In the next three years, he appeared in films titled Annihilator, and Zero Seconds to Death'. Howitzer also frequently used Steroids during his film career, leading to many film critics and talk show hosts mocking the fact they had apparently shrunk his genitals.

By 1989 Howitzer's popularity had eventually declined and his career slowed down. He released Loin Cloth right before Special Needs Cop in 1992, a severely politically incorrect film in which he endangers the lives of special needs children and other innocents. He also became delusional, believing that his movies were real and the Soviet Union could still attack (despite the fact they had collapsed in 1991). In 1992, He was interviewed on WCTR's Entertaining America show where he accidentally and fatally shot host Billy Dexter (Jack thought that his gun wasn't loaded), also shooting at others on the scene. Jack was later put on trial for murder and faced the death penalty, although the outcome of the trial is not revealed. When interviewed by WCTR in a Los Santos prison awaiting trial, he admits to killing the original Ho Chi from the Exploder movies, also demanding his prison bitch act like her.

In the GTA IV , Weazel News website in The Ballad of Gay Tony reveals that Howitzer instead served 15 years alive in prison for shooting Dexter, was paroled by 2008, and was now set to have his own reality show. (Although main characters from GTA III Era were confirmed not to appear in GTA IV Era, celebrities such as Lazlow and Derek the Dodo are reused entirely in canon)

Real Life Inspirations

  • Sylvester Stallone: Stallone's films are also largely parodied, such as Rocky (Push-Up) and the Rambo saga (Exploder saga). Howitzer also speaks in a normal, if not aggressive, American accent which is closer to Stallone's nationality.

Trivia