Off Route/Script: Difference between revisions

Line 132: Line 132:


'''Prisoner''': Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
'''Prisoner''': Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
''(Johnny loses the police)''
'''Johnny''': So, umm, what're you folks in for?
'''Stocker''': For these fellas it's white collar shenanigans. Caught with their hand in the cookie jar. My greed was of a... more corporeal nature.
'''Johnny''': I'm gonna take that as meaning you were into some sick shit. Let's not discuss it.
'''Stocker''': As you wish, dear boy.
'''Johnny''': I'm guessing it wasn't you I got paid to bail out anyways.
'''Stocker''': I doubt those who remember me think it a great idea that I am about to be roaming free again.
'''Johnny''': Okay dokey then.
''(Johnny takes the bus to the rendezvous)''
'''Stocker''': Thank you, sir. My fellow prisoners and I are most grateful. We've got a boat to catch. Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside. Oh, I do like to be beside the sea. Oh, I do like to walk along the prom, prom, prom. Where the brass bands play fidaly bum, bum, bum, bum.
''(The prisoners get on a boat and Johnny watches them depart)''
'''Johnny''': Bon voyage.


==Alternate dialogue==
==Alternate dialogue==

Revision as of 03:51, 21 August 2014

The following is a script of the mission Off Route in The Lost and Damned.

Script

Leavis: Ahh, Mr. Stubbs is expecting you.

Johnny: Hey, how ya doing man?

Leavis: Oh yes, sir. Hello, sir. I'm fine.

Johnny: Good. Hey let me ask you something... do you really enjoy life?

Leavis: I don't really know what you mean, sir.

Johnny: I mean, does serving all these rich morons, you know... smell of money and all that stuff, you know, does that make you happy?

Leavis: Yes, sir. Something like that. And tell me sir, are you happy? I mean, has giving the man, the, err, finger, really satisfied some inner urge within you, sir?

Johnny: Well, I think what I've learned is that there's always a man, dude. He just wears a different uniform.

Leavis As you say, sir. Ah, Mr. Stubbs is in the steam room. Right this way.

(Leavis takes Johnny to the steam room where Stubbs is)

Stubbs: Klebitz! How ya doing, sport?

Johnny: Hey. I'm fully clothed in a steam room with a murdering politician, while my whole life falls to shit all around me. But fuck it. I'm alright. Miss your uncle?

Stubbs: Oh, I've doubled up on the therapy.

Johnny: Change your therapist.

Stubbs: Oh, but I've been seeing Dr. White since I was seven. The man's a genius.

Johnny: Okay. What can I do for you man? I'm not really dressed for this and you said it was urgent.

Stubbs: Yes, well, there's been a clerical error down in the deepest recesses of the Civic Citadel. A group of outstanding civilians, voters, have mistakenly been taken into LCPD custody.

Johnny: Well, isn't there something you can do about that yourself man? Pull some strings or something?

Stubbs: No, I'm afraid not sport, way too far down the line for that. Too much red tape, yadda yadda yadda... No, all you need to know is that, uh, these gentlemen are in a prison transport bus, and you, my friend, need to liberate them.

Johnny: Sure, I got it.

Stubbs: The bus is at the Leftwood Police Station. Get them out of there and we will make it worth your while.

Johnny: Ok, I got it.

(Johnny leaves)

Stubbs: Don't sweat it Klebitz.

Dialogue

(Johnny arrives at the LCPD station where prisoners are boarding a prison bus)

LCPD: Those coveralls chafing you? Well you must be used to wearing Perseus suits and shit.

Prisoner: Look, it was a victimless crime. My taxes pay your salary.

LCPD: Long way from the Exchange now, aren't you, you yuppie pricks? Still think you're better than guys like me, huh?

(An LCPD officer escorts a prisoner with a mask over his face)

LCPD: You should be put down. I saw what you did to that orderly. A man's organs ain't meant to look like that. Come on.

(Johnny approaches the gate)

LCPD: You're going to need to step away from the building, sir.

(Johnny begins to fight the LCPD)

LCPD: We are now authorized to use force.

(Johnny boards the bus and knocks out the driver. An officer turns to shoot him but is eaten by a prisoner)

Johnny: Whoa.

Stocker: You're the best tasting thing I've had since I got locked up.

Johnny: That's intense. Alright! Since we've all, uh, eaten, we've got a new destination people.

(Johnny throws out the unconscious driver and leaves the station. He then runs into a roadblock)

Johnny: One police roadblock coming up. Strap in!

(Johnny gives the prisoners the keys to unlock their cuffs)

Johnny: Here's the keys. Get yourselves un-cuffed.

(Johnny runs into an Angels of Death convoy)

Johnny: I hope them Deadbeats're enjoying their run.

(Johnny tries to lose the cops)

Johnny: Just like driving an eighteen wheeler.

Johnny: Fucking politicians.

Johnny: Mom always told me I'd be a bus driver.

Johnny: Do me a favor and don't fucking eat me, back there.

Johnny: The bulls are gonna be real pissed if they catch us.

Johnny: If the cops get us, who wants to be my cellmate?

Johnny: Shit, I'm probably gonna end up doing time with you boys at this rate.

Johnny: Nothing like running from the cops to get the blood pumping.

Johnny: Here comes the school bus.

Johnny: I ain't never going to understand politics.

Johnny: Get out the fucking way.

Johnny: How's my driving?

Prisoner: I'm not going back.

Prisoner: We need to lose the fucking cops.

Prisoner: Shit. Get us out of here.

Prisoner: Faster. Faster. We need to lose them.

Prisoner: Oh shit. Oh shit. I can't get arrested again.

Prisoner: The police are gonna catch us. I know it.

Prisoner: Lose the cops.

Prisoner: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

(Johnny loses the police)

Johnny: So, umm, what're you folks in for?

Stocker: For these fellas it's white collar shenanigans. Caught with their hand in the cookie jar. My greed was of a... more corporeal nature.

Johnny: I'm gonna take that as meaning you were into some sick shit. Let's not discuss it.

Stocker: As you wish, dear boy.

Johnny: I'm guessing it wasn't you I got paid to bail out anyways.

Stocker: I doubt those who remember me think it a great idea that I am about to be roaming free again.

Johnny: Okay dokey then.

(Johnny takes the bus to the rendezvous)

Stocker: Thank you, sir. My fellow prisoners and I are most grateful. We've got a boat to catch. Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside. Oh, I do like to be beside the sea. Oh, I do like to walk along the prom, prom, prom. Where the brass bands play fidaly bum, bum, bum, bum.

(The prisoners get on a boat and Johnny watches them depart)

Johnny: Bon voyage.

Alternate dialogue

Post mission phone call

Failing the mission