Pedestrian Dialogue in GTA San Andreas

Ammunation Clerk

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Everything a patriot could want! If you want to ice your wife or stop a truck, I got what you need. They, uh, all lost their serial numbers. I don't do big military orders. You hard yet? If the cops ask, you didn't get a deal, ok? I didn't sell you this, right? Have fun! Hope you kick some ass! The choice of a proffessional. Works well in a crowded area. The revolution is coming! There are cultists everywhere, friend. The wars are coming, you hear?

Big Smoke

• Damn, fool!
• Ah, look out.
• Watch where you're goin', moron!
• Excuse me.

Carl Johnson

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Being Arrested Come on, do I look like gangster? I’m a businessman! Whats wrong? You ran out of donuts? You can talk about this in the shower with your buddies! Fuck you, one time! Fuck you po-po! Just shut up! Well done, cop. Well done. Ahhh, screw you, cop! Threatening someone with a gun (when he's fat) Fat man's got a gun. Ain't that a surprise, I've got a gun! Welcome to San Andreas, fool! Hey, what's cracking now? Oh shit, I got a gat. What's poppin' now? You want to get ventilated, huh? You want some lead in you? Oh yeah? That's right, I'm just a mark! I'm packing heat, fool! G's up, fool! What was you saying? Running away from the police I AIN'T NO BITCH OFFICER! I think you should stop with that shit! Car Jacking Welcome to San Andreas, fool. Remember, heroes get killed. Shit fool, you just got jacked! Give me this fucking car. Grove Street needs your car. Would you like to be a victim of a car jacking? Or a homicide? I'm having that! This is a robbery, don't make it a murder! Isn't this what they mean by "carpool"? I need that shit you driving! What's you expect? It's America. You gonna have to walk now, sucker! I'm having this! Gimme that fucking vehicle! I'm a loser, so hate me. Get out the ride! Don't take this personal, but you getting jacked! Get out the car! Get outta here punk! Roll up outta here. NOW! Thats MINE! Be cool, its just a jacking. Gimme your whip fool! Get carjacked, or get a beatin'. Easy choice, huh? Don't blame me; blame society. Now you can buy another one! Fat man needs your car (when he's fat) I'm too fat to be walking anymore bitch! (when he's fat) Caught slipping again! Hey, get out the car gangster. Heroes get popped, move! Blame society man! Get out the vehicle! Come on, get outta there! You've been slipping again, huh? Let's move on. Go on fool, out! Don't make me shoot you homie! Stealing A Bike Gimme that fucking bike! Damn, you fell off? Gravity's a bitch isn't it? You ain't gonna cry now are you? Off the bike! I'm having that bike! Get off that bike! Now don't make this get really ugly. You just got jacked! OFF! Don't mind me! Keep quiet and you won't get beat up over no bike. You want a beating as well? Gimme that bike! Don't make this worse for yoursef! I want your bike! I need your bike! I'm gonna have to borrow this bike! I'm having this bike! GET yo' ass off. I need to borrow this bike bitch! Crashing Into Another Vehicle Did you buy your license? Inbreeding makes you dumb, huh? My car! What kind of license you got? Fishing license? Whats your poison: grin or gin? Ah, for fuck's sake! My car!! My fucking car!! Having a bad week, huh? I'll make it worse, for that! Your mom must be proud of your driving, fool! Fuck, you hit me! Damn! My Whip! Did you steal your license?! You hit me! I'm gonna hit you back! Idiot! What in fuck's name are you doing?! My ride! Fool! Ahhh, screw you! Look where you going! What you been drinking?! How you allowed to drive if you blind?! Oh, you asshole! My shit! Can anyone in this state drive? You've been drinking brake fluid! Who let you out of the mental home? Ahhh G! You a comedian asshole?! Now that ain't exactly funny! You have to apologize before I get out and hit you! You think that's funny? Falling From A Building Oh, shit! Damn! What the fuck! Bullshit! I don't need this shit! Oh, motherfucker! I hate gravity! Shit, damn! Aaaah! Oh, fuck, shit! Noooo! Oh, hell no! Oh Jesus! Ahh! Oh, no! Aaaah, no! Fighting Make it easy on yourself and run away! Come on! Fight then! Come on! Punch! This gonna be easy bitch! Oh, you real hard huh? I warn you, I don't give a fuck! You got scraps huh? You got scraps huh bitch? You think you tough? Do you know who your fucking with? Head up, you and me! Your fucking with Carl Johnson! You know who you up against? You know who you messing with? It's your funeral asshole! You should back down and run away! You little punk! Run away fool! You gonna back down soon? Run away bitch! Come on! Show me what you got! Toe to Toe fool! Come on asshole, then fight! You just a bitch! You dead motherfucker! (when he's fat) I ain't a fat bitch, bitch! (when he's fat) I'm gonna eat you fool! (when he's fat) I'm gonna flatten you, fucker! (when he's fat) I'm big but I ain't slow! (when he's fat) I'm gonna put you to sleep punk! (when he's fat) Who you callin' a fat slob? (when he's fat) You got a problem with the big man huh! (when he's fat) I ain't just a fat slob, asshole! (when he's fat) I got weight on my side. (when he's fat) I'm too fat to walk anymore punk! (when he's robust) I'm gangsta. (when he's robust) I'm showstopper! (when he's robust) I ain't called Mr. Muscle for nothin'. (when he's robust) I'm big and fast. (when he's robust) Who you callin' a bendico? (when he's robust) You got a problem with Mr. Muscle Man, huh! (when he's robust) I ain't takin' this shit fool! (when he's robust) I got muscle on my side. (when he's robust) Yo ass is a waste of time, fool! I'm rich and fucking crazy! (when he's rich) Come on, fool, run away. Nobody punches CJ! You think you can take me on, you punk? Give up, homeboy. Let's do it, come on! Oh, you think your hard? I'm your worst nightmare fool, so give up. You calling CJ a bitch? You in a whole lot of trouble tough guy. Go on, run away homie. Let's go bitch. Trust me, I don't give a shit. Hit me then, homeboy. Let's do it, come on. It's on now! Killing Pedestrians Welcome to America! Call the army, I'm a fucking maniac! Yeah, I'll shoot you in your face! I'm a punk? Am I? Welcome to San Andreas! I don't give a fuck! I'm a lunatic, fool! I'm a well dressed maniac, fool! Bitches! Welcome to Ganton, fool! Bang, bang, bang! Asshole! You should of stayed at home. You tricks! Punk ass bitches! You mark! G.S.F. for life! Picking Up Money Guess you won't be needing this now (when he's fat) This should help keep my belly full. (when he's fat) Lunch money. (when he's fat) I should use this for a good dinner. Gimme that Grip! Aww you so kind. Ah, look at all this paper! Thanks, bitch! Next time you should put it in the bank! I need this more than you, I think. Is that all you got? Cheap fool! Give me them dollars! Come on, pay me! I'm a real criminal. I'll take that paper. That's going in my retirement fund! Is this for me? Gimme those chips! Yeah, them my ducats now. I like to share too, thank you. Hey, pay a nigga! Send 'em ducats over here! With a mean bastard like you around here, crime really don't pay. Hey, gimme that paper! When the police are crashing into him I'm not laughing, cop asshole! You're fucking me off! Complimenting an NPC after they praised his apparel These clothes? Yeah, they're tight. Just some old kicks baby. Straight. Good looking. Fo' sho, thanks. Yeah, they gangster ain't they? This how Grove street kick it. Thanks gangster. Alright. Straight gangster. Know what I'm saying? My G'ed up apparel? Yeah, straight. Whatch you expect, huh? Complimenting an NPC after they praised his tattoo's That's why I had them hit up on me. Pure gangster, homie. They just tat's fool. But I got the heart to back them up. Yeah pretty gangster ain't they. Yeah i hear you, cool. Complimenting a NPC after they praised his haircut The fade? It's straight gangster. This cut? Awe thanks. Awe, thanks G. Yeah, good lookin'. Complimenting an NPC after they praised his muscles Thanks, I've been lifting a lot of weights. Yeah, I've been lifting a lot, you know. Yeah. Cool. Fo' sho. Thank you. Awe, thanks. Straight. Complimenting an NPC after they praised his hygiene Yeah, I've just takin' up washing, G. Negative remark to an NPC after they've criticized his tattoo's Why don't you shut your bitch mouth, punk! Yeah, and you just a punk ass bitch. Well why don't you go and join the line to bang your mama! Accepting a prostitute visit Moms, I'm so sorry about this. You don't have no VD do you bitch? Recruiting Gang Members They told me you was a buster, prove me wrong. I'm gonna put in some work, you down? C'mon dude, roll wit' me. C'mon man, we're families. C'mon, Grove Street 4 Life dawg. Dude you ain't no Balla or no buster. Losing at the casino Fuck you and your casino! Singing Warm it up Kane! Warm it up CJ! Warm it up Kane! Girl you dropped a bomb on me! Express yourself! Because i'm from Grove Street! Never gonna get it, Never gonna get it, beyatch! Young hearts be free tonigh....! Aww what was it... Rollercoaster...! Ain't nuttin but a G thang, bab-ay.... Two loc'ed out nigga's going crazy.... Move your body, move your body.... Take your time and let me love you good....

Well Stacked Company Clerk

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What do you want? Chewy crust or sweaty crust, your choice sir! Oh? Uh, what would you like? What would sir 'like? Everything's well stacked, sir. Have a combination of cheese and fat, sir. Here you go, enjoy! We're out of napkins. We stack 'em high, sir! Here! Next! Nice n' cheesy does it! Enjoy your meal! Sir! Have a well stacked day! Careful:it's hot! Kifflom gets a discount here. That's a nice slice of Epsilon for you! Fuck off, we ain't serving you!

Cluckin' Bell Clerk

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Yummy doodle-doo, how may I serve you? Cluckity fuck, please place an order. It's all processed chicken ass. How may I further degrade myself sir? Well, aloh-a-doodle-doo. Don't choke on the bone fragments. Hope you choke a doodle-doo! You might be lucky to find a feather. If you come back; you're a moron. Get out of here, you're embarassing yourself!!

Burger Shot Clerk

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What may sir desire? I am very proud to welcome you to Burger Shot! What would you like sir? Serving CJ some food Please enjoy your meal. Slurp! My burger sir! I've enjoyed serving you sir! Munch all the way to bits sir! Have a wonderful day! I hope you're being self-conspicuous of yourself sir! Please leave, sir!

Female Clothing Shop Clerk

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Welcome! Try our clothes in the changing room! It's exhillerating to have you here, sir. Have a nice day sir! Good choice sir!

Male Clothing Shop Clerk

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Well hello gorgeous! Have a nice day honeybum! It looks great on you. We also have a wide selection of thongs.

Los Santos Boxing Trainer

• Yo, you wanna see some new moves?
• Man you're an embarassment! Get yourself some muscles first!
• Fine man, but the streets are mean dude!
• Alright, but I'll know you'll be back!
• Wanna go on a round with me?
• You charge at him and batter your opponent!
• (to the boxers) That's right, keep breathing!
• Don't give the opponent the time to recover.

San Fierro Kung Fu Master

• So, you wish to become a warrior!
• You are weak like flat weed! Get yourself some strength!
• Observe with the eyes young student and you will learn!
• The warrior's path shall bring you back!
• Would you like to spar with your master?

Las Venturas Streetfighting Teacher

• You want to see some new moves?
• Come back if you change your mind, man!
• Alright man, pay attention!
• Want to have another round with me?

Indian pedestrian

• (farts) My ass is stinking!
• Shit cock bastard head!
• Smell my fingers!
• You fucking shitface!
• Aeyyy!
• I kill you!
• Dumb bastard!
• You shit!
• I'll get you!
• Take this, you dick!
• You want some of this?
• I studied martial arts in Kathmandu!

Croupier

• Place your bets!
• Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!
• An offer of credit has been made, Sir.
• The house is prepared to offer you credit, Sir.
• The house regonizes _ credit rating.
• Sorry, Sir, you don't have enough funds.
• No more bets, please!
• No more bets, ladies and gentlemen, please.
• No more bets, people.
• You win!
• You win, Sir, well done.
• Congratulations, Sir.
• Thank you, Sir, have a nice day.
• Thank you for playing, Sir.
• Jackpot!
• Another win for Sir!
• Blackjack!
• Blackjack! House Exclusive!

Police

Police Boat

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Suspect is overboard. Where you gonna swim to? Get out of the water, you can’t escape! He tries to swim away! There he is, in the water! We’ve got a man overboard, a man overboard! Oh, you think you’re a fish, huh? Get out of the fucking water, right now! There he is! Get out of the fucking water! Hey, get outta there! We’ve got a suspect in the water. Repeat: A man in the water!

Countryside Police

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Police, move! Excuse me, please! Out of the way! Don’t you push me there! Police, out of the Way! Get back here! Come back here, you’re under arrest! Stop running away, boy! I will kill you, boy! My daddy told me about guys like you! You’re getting yourself in a whole heap of shit! You think I didn’t kill bigger bands than you, pal? I’m a racist, boy! You don’t hit cops in my town! I’m gonna mess you up, boy! Out of your little mind, boy! I can hardly wait to put you in! You await your death, boy! I see you, boy! You think you’re tough now, boy? You disgust me! I’m on to kill you! Hey, dump bastard, look at me! You should play nice, boy! I’m gonna put my pistol in your mouth! Yeah, boy, happy now?

Police Helicopter

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We've got a clear vision on our suspect and we’re about to open fire. Co-Pilot: I see her, SHE'S beautiful! Pilot: HE'S over there!! He's A GUY!! Co-Pilot: Hey, when I kill him, do I get a medal? Pilot: You get two! This is aerial support - the suspect is about to get terminated. You’re going down, hard man, right now! Give up, the game’s up. You think you’re hard, huh, asshole! We’re the police, you moron, we’ve got helicopters! This is aerial support - we’ve got a clear vision on our Suspect. Put your hands up, it’s over! Pilot: There is he, shoot him! Co-Pilot: Why I always have to do the fucking Killing?! Pilot: Because I'm a pacifist! Kill him! Suspect is trying to escape - we have to soon stop that. We had a headshot on you, tough guy. Stop! This is aerial support - we’re about to neutralize all visible threats. Co-Pilot: Hey, I can see my house from here- Pilot: Hey, will you shut the hell up! You, stop! You’re in trouble now, bad boy. This is chopper support - suspect is in sight. This is heli support - I’m gonna put the suspect down! This party is gonna be shot down! You’re mine, tough guy! You! Stop, or we will kill you! We are the good guys, you little chump! Pilot: Kill that asshole! Co-Pilot: I’m trying, I’m trying! Co-Pilot: You, stop! Pilot: Just kill him, you pussy! Suspect is escaping, repeat: Escaping! You can’t escaping, asshole! Pilot: Stop! Police! Co-Pilot: I think he knows that by now! You! Stop running! Now! It’s time to shut you up, asshole! Pilot: Playtime is over, kid! Co-Pilot: Oh, you’re so dominating! Pilot: Hey, do you see anything? Co-Pilot: Higher! Shoot him! Co-Pilot: Where is he? Pilot: Over there, you dick, kill him! You’re going to respect the law, pal! Hey, stop, or we will kill you! We’ve got a clear sighting on our suspect! Pilot: You can stop running now, suspect! Co-Pilot: Oh, you’re so really butch! Pilot: Man, stop photographing those women and shoot the bastard!. Co-Pilot: Hey, shut up!

Motorcycle Police

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Don’t make this a 99A! I'm going to call the police! I believe in sharing. You have a last request? You are going down! I’m ready when you are, pussy! I’m gonna get that bastard! Bring it on! You wanna fight a cop? Officer, requesting backup! Easy there! I need backup here! Hey! Let’s see what you got! Careful, partner! Where'd you learn to throw a punch? This one’s mine! I’m going after it! I’m gonna hum with you! Ah, you want some of this?

Los Santos Police

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Nobody touches my mother. Not even my daddy. Tell my wife I banged her sister. You hit my squad car! You dick! You psychotic dick! I told him "Chill out", then I broke his arm. You have the right to remain silent, mister. LSPD, freeze! Police! Move! LSPD! Stop! You! Stop! Don't move! Do not move! Come on, move! LSPD! STOP! LSPD! He's getting away! Sarge, I said "I won't do it" and I got promoted. I can't believe you hit my car! You blind shitbag! Duck! Get your heads down! Come on! Fight! Fight, fight! Come on pal! I got a wife and kids! Hey stop! This is the LSPD! You piss-stain! Stop! Give up bud! Stop! I got a clear shot on him! LSPD! Get out of the way! Move! I'm a damn cop! My dad was a cop. I won't shower at the stationhouse. I'm gonna give you the nightstick for that! That psycho's shooting at us! I'm gonna put you in a hospital pal! I'm just doing my job pal. Kill this asshole! Stop with the running pal! Stop running you girl! Look at me pal: you're dead. You happy now, son? End of the road, kid! OK, I got you! You know your rights. Don't move a muscle! You're mine, buddy, mine! Don't annoy me again! You wanna die? You wanna die? Don't move! You coming with me! I can kill you any time, I'm a cop. Remember, I call a backup! Come on, come on! This is the LSPD, stop! Hey, stop! I'm gonna kick your ass! Officer. I need a backup! (also cops say this quote, when CJ was seen in police impound garages) You're mine now, kid. End of the line, scumbag! You're under arrest!

San Fierro Police

• Watch where you going!
• Sorry, my fault, entirely!
• Did you hurt yourself?
• Yeah, let’s connect!
• Did your mother drop you as a child?
• Hey, watch it!
• Hey, I just polished these shoes!
• When you see this badge, step the hell aside!
• Let’s see what you got, boy!
• Take it like a man!
• Bruise yourself for pain!
• When I kick your ass, I’m gonna fuck it!
• Careful, I know how to use this stick!
• Move it or loose it!
• I’m gonna take you down!
• First I gonna beat you up, than I’m gonna beat you off!
• Do you wanna bump up? Come on: Show me what you’re hiding down there!
• Man to man, like nature intended!
• Prepared for a beating!
• You wanna bump up, huh?
• I’m gonna violate your ass!
• Come on, pal, one fist or two?
• How can I help you? Please stop!
• I’m actually a social worker in a uniform!
• Let me help you, I’m a social worker!
• I can help you crying out with my help!
• Did your daddy kiss you?
• Fighting is never the answer!
• I just wanna know why you’re so unhappy!
• Wait, bro!
• Come on, we can get on the bottom with this!
• Why you wanna hit me?
• Stop, we can hold hands and talk about it!
• The police are your friends!
• I’m licensed by the state!
• Hold it, I’m also a social worker!
• Slow down!
• Stop, you’re just troubled!
• Didn’t your mommy love you?
• Come, let’s open a constructive dialogue!
• I can feel your pain!
• You have a death wish, punk?
• Slow down!
• I can make this look like a suicide, you know?
• You’re leaving me no choice; I got to kick your ass!
• You can’t escape!
• You ain’t losing me, asshole!
• I’m dragging your ass to jail!
• I’m right behind ya, buddy!
• I’m going to terminate this chase at any cost.
• My wife puts up a better fight!
• Slow down, damn it! I just ate!
• I smell the fear of a criminal!
• I’m on your ass, daisy!
• Come on, let’s talk about this!
• This badge does not break for no one!
• You can’t escape!
• You see me coming, don’t ya?
• I’m on the edge, asshole!
• I’m gonna slap you good!
• Get your bitch and switch!
• Drop your pants, honey!
• Let’s wrestle to submission!
• Wrestle me, honey!
• Let’s hope we don’t have to hurt him!
• Don’t move a muscle!
• What are you doing?
• You’re going downtown!
• My ex-wife drives better than that!
• What the hell are you doing?
• You better pay a price for that!
• Son-of-a-bitch!
• Hey!
• Tell me about your childhood.
• You're going down.

Las Venturas Police

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Kicking names and taking ass! Oh wait. If I die, tell my wife she's a bitch! If I don't survive, tell my wife she's a bitch. You're under arrest asshole! Fun time's over, buddy! Pull the trigger pussy! I serve my community by kicking ass! YOU MOVE IN! I have kids! There's no cameras around to catch this beating. Wake up chickenshit! Look at this lucky ass! Move your vehicle! Get out of the way! You're gonna have to move! Move, police! 'scuse me! MOVE! Come on! Move! Hey, this is official police business! Hey! You're wrong, I'm right. I'm the cop! Go ahead; you don't have the balls! You wanna play rough? HEY! BEAT IT! I got the visual on the suspect! Some guy's fooling around with my wife. She's a goddamn cheating wife. Goodbye Angela! My beautiful squad car! That guy's trying to kill me! He's trying to kill us! Your head's gonna get busted for this! Come on tough guy! That's it buddy, you're dead! Come on! There's cops everywhere! GO!! GO!! We got this kid! You think you could get away from me?! Show's over buddy, give up! You are surrounded! Give up! You've been messing with the wrong cop! Just try punk, just try it. About to be in a world of pain, boy...! You little asshole! I got a 11-54 in front of me! You lose your glasses? You see this badge? Damn it! I need some help! Great, now you're making me run? You think I need some evidence? I got a plan, cover me! Ow! My coffee! My car is signing your death warrant! I'm a cop you asshole! Cop killer! Don't be a hero Martinez, stay down! What the hell?! 11-82 in progress! You can't hit a police car! Psycho at the wheel! INCOMING!! You think I'm the good guy? I'm the bad guy! Nice work kid! San Fierro needs more guys like you. Don't expect a reward, kid! Hey! Look over there! Hey! Look behind you! MOVE IN! What's this wise ass trying to do? This little chase is making me angry! We're all over like stink in shit! Smile you son of a bitch! You're mine! Don't move a goddamn muscle chump! You're going down asshole! Hey, we're blocked in here! YOU!! MOVE! You're pushing your luck. Gimme some help over here! I don't believe this guy! AWWW! Hey watch it! I'm gonna enjoy this! Don't lean on me, I lean on you. OK, we'll settle this the hard way. You looking for a attitude ajustment shitsmere? I don't know anybody called Miranda!? Let's settle this! I'd wish I shot ya! Just try it! Put the damn gun now son! You won't get away from me! You're trapped! Looks like we got the last lap boy! We're gonna blow your legs! Anything you say, you better talk! This makes my whole day worthwhile. You're gonna die! You will regret that! Where do you think you're going? PIECE OF SHIT! Damn it, shithead! Shithead! This ain't a good day for you! Thats it!!! Mofo! Nice try dickface! Yeah, yeah! Give it to me baby! Give it to me! Choke on this asshole! You could have been killed! I'm immortal! I spy with my little eye! I'm in pursuit! You're going down pal! Mono en mono, you're surrounded! Dog turd! Don't move Adam Henry! MOVE IT WISE ASS! Hey fender lizard, move it! I got him spotted! I got him spotted! Cover my ass goddammit! WHOA! Man down! Man down! Much obliged, citizen. Suicide by cop? Is that what you're over? God if I lost him... I need backup! I need backup to establish a perimeter! Surrender! Let's make this a D.R.T: dead right there! Let's go boys!

S.W.A.T

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I'm gonna take you out asshole!! You're gonna die!!! You yellow bastards! Stop YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET BACK HERE! Take him down once and for all!! Holy shit!! Get down!! Move in move in move in!! Look out below!!! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! I ain't walking away from this shithead! You're gonna die asshole! Return fire! I'm going in! Eat dirt! I hate this bit. Comin' in hot! S.W.A.T team coming in! We're all over your ass homeboy! I'm gonna drop him! Mother: I love you! Incoming fire!! Watch out below!! Aw shit! I'm stuck! Target spotted: Get down here boys! Get your weapons down before this gets worse!

San Fierro Triads

• Fuckhead!
• Muttonchops!
• So Sorry.
• Hey!
• Don't get too close to big money.
• Get away from me.

Driving

• Do we have to torture you?
• Did your brain just stop working?
• You got brain freeze or something?
• Out the way, mutton-head!
• Off the road, idiot!

Fighting

• Damn mutton-fool
• Your children are going to miss you!
• We're gonna cut you up!
• We're gonna slice you up!
• We're gonna slice your face off!
• You goin' down, fuckhead.

Criticizing CJ's apparel

• Have you got the red eye disease?

Shooting

• Keep his damn head down!
• Gimme a clip on this motherfucker!
• Hope you liked your face!

Da Nang Boys

• How's it goin'?
• Watch it! (bumping into someone)
• I need a hit of your shit.
• Hello, fine lady! (to female pedestrians)
• You like my noodle? (to female pedestrians)
• Hello, sexy honey! (to female pedestrians)
• Hello, like shopping? (to female pedestrians)
• Oh yeah, baby! (to female pedestrians)
• Gimme some more of that! (to female pedestrians)
• Hey, dude.
• Oh, shit now I hungry! (after smoking a joint)
• You always drink good shit.
• Hey, brother!
• American girl talk too much.
• I gonna go Canada.
• Tastes good, remind me of prison.
• This your wallet? (bumping into someone)
• You want me to shoot you? (when stuck in traffic)
• I studied astrology in prison.

Telling CJ to leave their turf

• What is this shit, who are you?
• Someone drop you off here, girlfriend?
• You wanna be a gangsta?
• You got to be from L.S.
• L.S bastards smell like you!

Commenting on CJ's apparel

• Nice pants, man.
• Those are ugly shoes!
• Where you get your super shoes?
• Why you wear so funny shoes?
• I shit on your car!
• My dad had a cool shirt like that.
• I want a car like that someday!
• You need new clothes!
• You look like homeless.

Fighting

• No more playing!
• Who taught you how to fight?
• I gonna kill you!
• Oh, I love fighting!
• You dead now!
• You wanna fight prison style?
• You end up in my dinner, chicken!
• Run while you can!
• Cover me!

Samoan pedestrian

• Get out of the way!
• Move that piece of shit!
• Komo. (Asshole)
• Shit! I'll kill you!
• Ufa. (Fuck you)
• You better move!
• Shit! Come on, watch it!
• Polo (Balls). Kae (Shit). Komo (Asshole).
• Easy!
• Stay back asshole!
• What the...
• You better not do that again.
• Man, you crazy?
• Watch out!
• A last guy challenged me as a quadrapalegic.
• Last time I arm wrestle someone, I ripped his arm off.
• This fresh record from Verona Beach was still hoes!
• Ain't no cops holding me down.
• Cops are such pussies.
• Momos (Shits) with guns. Anyone wants to take me out here, I can fight anybody anytime.
• Man, where did you get your fit. The thrift store?
• Man, you're asking for trouble with that outfit.
• I wouldn't walk around looking like that man.
• You better look out for the fashion popos.
• Another working pillow for the hood.
• Man you need to hit the gym.
• Man you have to lay off the fast food.
• Man don't you give a shit about yourself?
• Shower's over this way komo (asshole).
• Hey komo (asshole) take a shower.
• Hey man take a shower, man you stink.
• Hey don't walk away from me pukio (asshole), I'm talking to you.
• What, you didn't answer? You didn't hear me?
• Man you got some style, that's pussy mega style there.
• Stylin' bro.
• Looking good bro.
• Hey homie, looking good.
• Hey homie, you've been hitting the weights?
• Hey man, you've been hitting iron?
• Sweet colombus, that is fresh. Some dope ass clothe.
• Where did you get that clothe? Is that Renegade you're wearin'?
• Shit! No! Damn! My bike!
• You better run now!
• Polo lou Kama (Your father's balls), I'm gonna kick your ass for this!
• Man, you're dead.
• How are you going to pay for my car?!
• Now you going to have to pay for my car!
• Kae! (Shit!) Komo! (Asshole!) Ufa! (Fuck you!) You're dead!
• Look out!
• Damn! Oh shit!
• Man, hook me up with a bag. Make it two bags, I'm under a lot of stress.
• Holy moly, you're dead, komo (asshole!)!
• You ain't got a chance!
• You trying to check me on, pukio (asshole?)?
• Game over, pukio! (asshole!)
• Man, this is your funeral, pukio! (asshole!)
• You like hospitals? You must like hospitals!

Purple 31 pedestrian

Show transcript

Fool are you on sherms? You bitch-made busta! I mess with girls and guys, so? Im about to start trippin'! Get yo stupid ass movin'! I drink all your booze under the table! Move, punk bitch! Those fool oughta get blasted! I gotta check this mark! Who's this busta ass mark?! Excuse me mark! When I slap you, don't trip! I love violence! On our first date, we should go to Ammu-Nation! Fool, I said raise up! I love lip gloss! And break you off a tip! Better you than me! Well he say he's taking me to Ventura. You up in here smell bangin'. Jackin' bitches, that's yo M.O.?! I'm startin' to feel a little faded. A bitch ain't got time for this shit! Tryin' to fill a bitch up?! Man that's just triffling! 'Gon bail in a wheelchair when I'm done! Don't hold back me though, loc! I done KO Meteor Man! (?) I'm down for my hood! You 'bout to get beat by a bitch! Think a female can't squab, loc? Get 'em up, you perpetrator! Let's scrap, you old busta!

Countryside redneck

• Wow son, you're a big boy.
• Careful piggy!
• Grandpa got caught in the pig pen, I love a squealer.
• Why are you driving like that?
• Ya hit my car! What did you do that for?!
• Oh yeah! You're real funny kid!
• Go screw your own pigs! You ain't having her!
• Get away from my home!
• Howdy, partner!
• Hello she-male!
• Have you ever shot a dog?
• Inbreeding ain't so bad.
• Did piggy make it?
• This guy's insane! This must be judgement day!
• Dude, can I get out of here?
• Move it, numbnuts!
• Move!
• Move your ass!
• Come on move!
• Open your eyes, boy!
• Mama and papa are close cousins.
• Those little curly tails freak me out.
• Some peope say swine is fat.
• I love that car, is that real?
• Don't shoot! I don't wanna die!
• Keep yer dirty hands off me!
• ARGH, off! Get off me!
• You can't just carjack me!
• You ain't robbin' me piggy!
• Oh yeah?!
• Have you liked pink pigs?
• Have you shot a dog?
• I have a fat hog.
• What's money? Is that a gun? It's useless.
• Woah, hey!
• Watch it!
• You're mine, piggy!
• I cannot wait a minute!
• My mama showed me how to fight!
• I'm gonna make you real sorry!
• You're gonna regret the day you came here!

Mexican sex pedestrian

• I had porn for breakfast.
• Shit on a shingle!
• MOVE THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
• Do you like Japanese school girls?
• Do you like Bangkok?
• Take a shower ese.
• Holy macaroni!
• Big gun pencil dick sabes!
• Molest you later!
• What comes with the aftertaste of poosy?
• The ladies like to rub the tatas on your tats moreno.
• You think you have the bolas for me borardo.
• Goddamn piss swimmer!
• You smell like my ass man!
• You drive like a muher!
• I buy a round for all the boys!
• Bende hamas!
• MOVE IT! Le's go!
• Cabrone!
• Que paso loco.
• Pussies are like porridge.
• You smell like pasulo!
• Carre I hate this weather.
• You better not walk away from me, puto!
• Nice ink!
• Ah! The boobies are out today!
• Pendejo (Berk), that was my car!
• Chale!
• Paboso!
• Shit! My finger! AHH!!
• I need some smoke, I need to get whacked!
• Have you got some whack-whack!
• Game over, pendejo! (berk!)
• Get off me pendejo! (berk!)
• What you doing man?!
• HEY! My porno's in there!!
• You better hope I don't find you!!
• Hey! Nobody takes away my porn!!
• Hey! I want my money! That's for the big show!
• Chale! No way!
• Forget it man!
• Hey there, chula!
• Shit, I was gonna get some pussy!
• Pussy's great for Ammu-Nation!
• I love the cock. I love the Zebra bar.
• Paboso cabbie!
• Keep going man. I want that cabucha!
• Carifa!
• You got big bolas! Keep the change!
• You like young girls too?!
• You think you got the huevos (balls) for me?
• You ready, joto? (faggot?)
• You want some of me, maricon? (faggot?)
• Mariposa! (Faggot!)
• Aqui estoy (I'm here), shit muncher!
• You gonna die now, pendejo! (punk!)
• Time's up, amorcita! (faggot!)
• You're going down, joto! (faggot!)
• I'm gonna fill you up!

"Mr Trenchcoat"

• They are watching us!
• They know.
• You know they know.
• Get away from me!
• He's one of them!
• You're not gonna probe me again!
• You green blooded monster!

Kifflom backpacker

Show transcript

Kifflom, brother uncle! Are you looking for spiritual answers? Kifflom! Kifflom! Can I interest you in religion? Dinosaurs are a lie! FACT! Cris Formage saved my life! Epsilon protect me!! Put me up brother uncle! Something big is happening in American religion. You should read our literature! Can I talk to you about religion? Kifflom! Kifflom be praised!! Don't corrupt me! I'm saved! Kifflom and Krant! Before I read the tract, I was lost. Careful, brother uncle. Careful, careful. Do you need spiritual guidance? Find out! Have you ever taken a karate lesson for free? Have you thought about the answers to the universe? I bring a message of peace. I haven't been with my parents since I've joined the fellowship. I haven't spoke to my parents since... I lie with nine of my sisters every week. Join our fellowship. No, it's a terrible lie. Kifflom! Krant! Help! On the road take care in the woods of darkness. Partner sharing is a integrated part of Cris's vision. The world's beautiful, and so are you. Yes, it's all thanks to epsilonism. They should all read the Epsilon tract. Kifflom, sister aunt! Have you read the Epsilon tract? Biology is a LIE! I love the sexual side of Epsilonism! Epsilonism doesn't allow this!!

Refined pedestrian

• You smell like shit sir.
• Who cut the cheese?
• You smell like Copenhagen.
• My old tailor is in a box at home.
• Whoopsie daisy!
• Might I sniff you again, sir?
• Excuse me! Your vehicle seems to be in the way!
• You are creating an incident!
• You are not moving when you should be!
• Please forgive me!
• No broken bones!
• Quality tailoring makes the man!
• Trust funds for everyone!
• This weather is dissapointing.
• I love to travel! France is so lovely!
• A tattoo is for heathens.
• You smell exquisite.
• You remind me of spring!
• Tattoos remind me of my service day.
• What do you think you're doing?!
• I'm on my way to the symphony!
• Maniac!
• Menace!
• You're sick! You're dangerous!
• I need something to keep me polite.
• Your devotion to fitness is admirable.
• I would like to get stoned.
• Oh my! Please be more gentle!
• Take more money for petrol!
• I'll call the constable!
• This property isn't yours!
• You want a donation?
• You fool!
• Greetings sir, how do you do sir?
• Do you enjoy the programme "law"?
• I find Ammu-Nation supplies me well.
• You are a gentleman and a scholar.
• Perhaps in another colour, this supports my purposes.
• Chauffeur! Taxi!
• Let's hit the road!
• With haste, young man!
• Now hurry, and off the way we go!
• The stickiest of the icky please.
• My motorised penny farthing!
• Oh dear.
• Poor swine!
• Your finest narcotics please.
• That's the way the cookie crumbles!
• If you excuse me: I must ask for my vehicle back!
• Yes! Truly unfortunate!
• Absolutely not!
• How do you madam?
• Enjoy yourself sir!
• Sprunk taste like dirt.
• Oh my word, no.
• Public transportation is rubbish!
• You sir are a menace!
• I regret stepping into this contrivance!
• My blind wolfhound drives better than you!
• Oh my goodness!
• Did you notice that person?!
• You've killed the poor person!
• My solicitor has been informed! I shall alert the authorities!
• Violence is a last resort.
• You have forced me into action!
• Regrettable, but necessary.
• Reason, obviously won't work here.
• There's only one way to solve this.
• I am prepared to fillet you!
• You have forfeited the rules of fair play.
• I can scrap!

Dread gangster

• What's your price one-timer? I'm a high roller!
• My lawyers are gonna have you on desk work!
• Step aside baby-nuts!
• I've got a bad, bad temper!
• I don't know about the hood!
• Vatos can't fix that bucket!
• This fool's got a hearing problem!
• My bike! That is yo ass!
• You getting that bike fixed, mort!
• You bucket-drivin' busta!
• You gotta see it to believe it!
• You gonna cuff me? An innocent man?!
• Shit man! Are ya tryin' to kill me?!
• You're not a popo, are you?
• It's on now, busta!
• I'm surgical with these fists!
• I'm gonna make you suck my gun!
• You just declared a war busta! Hope you made a will!
• That's my car punk!
• I can't be faded homie!
• Don't make this a 1A7!
• Your luck has just run out!
• Hell yeah, it's the bomb!
• No way! I don't think so homie!
• Hey baby!
• Hey bitch!
• Alright bitch, keep that ass warm!
• Ventura 5-0 is stressin' me!
• Hey! Bring this shit right there!
• Get this thing rolling man! Step on it!
• You're making enemies with this thing man!

Black drug dealer

• I gotta call my lawyer!
• Got some sticky-icky-icky homie!
• So this is the best shit man! Government issue!
• Yo man! Why you stressin' me!
• Man! Damn! My ProLaps!
• Man! You should've smoked me CJ!
• Hey man, it's my block CJ!
• Man, you half dead CJ!
• Hey man, you tryin' to check me punk?!
• Now what's up bitch!
• CJ I'm gone! I'm gone!
• Man, fool, I don't know no you!
• Hey man, see you later dawg. See ya later.
• Man, I ain't the one homie!
• I'm supposed to be dead dawg?!
• I should turn my life around?
• Sherm! Sherm! Get 'em sherm!
• I ain't GOTS to do a damn thing!
• What da hell?!

DJ pedestrian

Show transcript

Everyone is tryin' to rip me off. Come on man! I got places I wanna be! No way homie, I'm on to you. Nice to meet you. Hey when you back up, the people say beep! My two-wheeled baby! When they set up a needle, you set up a production sequel. I should get big muscles like yours! Pencil dick asshole! Corporate gangsta! Oh you can take it, I need all the the insurance money. Stop rhymin' and start runnin'! What?! Stop what are you doing?! My recs are in there! I'm a kill you now! Yeah, you be sorry now! Holy remix! Bless my diamond stylus! Street means body armour! Hey! Hey! This car is also my home! Homey, I ain't afraid of your major label bullshit. Great spinnin' 2 inches! These city streets ain't safe! Stop! That's my house! Uh, I mean my car! When I get famous, you'll be sorry! Didn't you realise I'm the prince of the dicks? Pick it up baby bop, come on! Aw, you got some nice moves there! No homie, you can keep the change! Oh no! My house! I mean my car! Be careful, this car is also my home. Gon' get my music over my dead body! (?) Nobody tries to steal my music! Oh, you wanna die? Sure! My fists are as strong as my beats! You want beats? I give you beats! Yeah, you got one foot in the grave already! Give it up, shithead!

Caucasian drug dealer

• Excuse moi, asshole!
• I'm gonna cut you a new smile!
• This is shit man, and you know it!
• I'm gonna mess your ghetto ass up!
• This stuff is the shit!
• ASSHOLE!!
• Come on man! Take the cash man! Let me go!
• Gotta cut this shit with washing powder.
• I hope I'm not watching my house.
• Hey you got the wrong guy!
• Man you're deluded!
• Do you know who my dad is? I'm connected, ASSHOLE!
• Whatever sport!
• OK, I read you loud and clear.
• Take it to someone who cares.
• Go screw a raccoon.
• This shit's weapon great!
• Watch this stuff, its rocket fuel man!
• You want sliced?!
• You think you're something huh?!
• Oh you wanna do the "nasty dance" huh!
• I can't believe this shit!!
• I want my lawyer!

Ex-convict thug

Show transcript

Why you touchin' my beer? Don't make me kick your ass! You can take me - I like it better in jail anyway(!) You know who I am chump? Raise up little bitch! You wanna die little bitch? Raise up little bitch. In the pen, we play strip football. I'm a Rusty Brown doughnut eatin' gangsta! Nice wheels for a chump. I'm taking bike repairs out your ass! I'm taking car repairs out your ass! I'm taking repairs out your ass! I'm too big for little sales, sir! Watch out punk! Stupid mark! This shit better be good, punk. In jail, being on top ain't gay. You're a sissy with a silly ass car. Don't make me repeat myself! Move! Nice car asshole! Is that yo mama's car? That is one ugly ass car! I made a fool drink piss. Those steroids make your dick do WHAT? I just stole that bike too! I just stole that car too! I just stole this thing too, I hope yo mama's a mechanic! I like that car little bitch. Please sir! I'll be a good little thug! Who pulls me out of my car?! You sneaky punk! It's your funeral! This is my vehicle punk! Run if you want to live mark! Show some respect punk! That dead body made my day. Jackin' my homie? I should jack you! Taxi! Bring yo ass over here! I'm a make you wash my drawers! Bail before I make your heart fail. I'm a give that fat ass a spanky! Smoke, sterm, steroids give it here. This shit better be good punk, any bad tricks I'll kill you. Damn I missed out on all the fun! Another 187 haha! This murder put me in the mood! It's on now, lil' man! I love squabblin'! It's lights out for you, chump! I'ma make you wash my drawers! You must wanna die, lil' man! I kill you wit' my bare hands! Come get knocked out like yo' mama! You wanna scrap wit' a killa', fool? You boxin' wit' a booty bandit, punk! Let's work up a sweat, lil' man! Yeah, let's go head up!

Old bathroom pedestrian/Hotdog vendor

• World of Cog has the best toilet paper!
• AH! MY LAWN! MY HEART! MY EYES!
• Hurry it up! I wanna take a leak!!
• Not now! I wanna take a dump!
• GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
• GET THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE OUTTA HERE!
• MOVE! You're between me and the john!
• All I want to do today is sit on the john.
• Your girl's got no nose!
• You gotta wipe your ass too, youngster!
• SHIT ON A STICK!!
• Show some respect dummy!
• Get off the road, I wanna take a piss!
• Uuuugh... my heart!
• Johnson respect, dummy!
• This street is too small!
• What?! Yo shit don't stink.
• Crack my head, crack yo head!
• You be careful now.
• What in damnation is going on?!
• Ain't cha got self control?!
• I soiled myself because of you!
• That car will be your coffin!!!
• I took a good dump this morning!
• You ain't gettin' away dummy!
• I can't even masturbate anymore!
• Hey! I'm an old man!
• Underwear is overated man!
• You thieving dummy!
• You goddamn dummy!
• Man, I need some tits to squeeze.
• Is your aftershave made from faeces?! (belches)
• Your cologne is very sophisticated!
• MOVE THAT BUCKET!
• The urinals in this joint smell good!
• Get that piece of garbage outta here!
• OW! What the...
• I've been to every public bathroom in the city.
• Your tattoos are giving me the runs!
• Man this weather SUCKS!
• Careful dummy!
• Cool it meathead!
• This is bullshit!!
• SHIT!!!
• LOOK OUT!! WATCH OUT!!
• AHHHHH!!! Not my time!
• I need something extra special!
• Feet don't fail me now!
• Look out! I've got a heart condition!
• Shiiiiit!
• GET BACK HERE YA THIEVING DUMMY!!
• You can't take a coffin from a old man!!
• You gotta be faster than that boy!!
• This is supposed to be a nice city!
• How's it hangin' bro?
• My ass still hurts in that Indian food.
• I love Cluckin' Bell on Tuesdays.
• Burger Shot has some quality meat.
• Damn no respect kids!!
• Let me outta here already!!
• Have you been to Rusty Brown's?
• You've reached the end of days!
• Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
• I'll eat you and spit you out!
• I'll show you how it's done!
• No tomorrow for you!
• I eat dummies for breakfast!
• You ain't even gonna have an ass to kick!
• I'm still young enough to whoop ya!
• Your time here is up!

Liberty City tourist

Show transcript

The ladies love me, I think. Careful shithead! You smell like you're from England. Have you dated a American? I slept with a Scotsman last night. Have you ever gone to that Glory Hole Theme Park? Have you ever gone to Karate school for free? I shaved downstairs this morning. My god, you're a whale! Dude, are you wearing curtains? Does your mom dress you? Jesus Christmas! What are you, retarded? Your tits are enourmous! I told the cop: "Hey! Don't molest me!". I got the body of a ninja! I'll eat your dog! Out of the way shithead! Dude are you in a play what the hell are you wearing? I love you too asshole! Eat my shoe! MY FREAKING CAR!! Are you wearing a diaper? Both my parents are dead. Hey move over punk ass! You think this is funny?! What's your problem!? Get off dick! Yeah, I really like French fries. What is up with that smell?! Damn! You look money! Damn! You look good! I wish I had some muscles. This is gonna cost you pal! HEY SHITHEAD! WATCH IT! YOU FRICKING IDIOT! This is shit, I wanna refund! That's a real gun man!! Do I look like a jerk to you?! You're gonna pay for this!! THATS MY CAR DICK!! You're gonna pay for this!! Come back here shithead!! Come back, I need that!! No freaking way! Buzz off TV-head! Later sweetheart! Have you ever driven a seven-nine Maibatsu? Here's some arigato money! Thanks she's looking good. Now she's mine, got it? Cluckin' Bell is shit. I'm gonna get you, ya paint freak! I hate those cars and I'm not Japanese. Get your ass out of here bozo! Smooth ride dude! I've had it with Los Santos. My car's fast and it totally rocks. What you done that for?! Screw this! I wanna live! Oh my god! Let's go! Thanks for the ride! Show me what you got, bitch! Come on, baby! Take it easy, grandma! I'm gonna enjoy hurting you! Let's see what you got, asshole! Come and get me, punk! I can kill you with one hand, shithead! Give to me, come on! You sure you're ready for this? I hope you like hospitals!

Biker

• You think I'm bad at knitting?!
• Careful asshole!
• Here I come! Ready or not!
• Is that coff designer ink?
• City tattoo artists are gettin' good!
• I'm coming after you jerkoff!
• Nobody touches my bike!
• Oil cans make good flower pots.
• What're you doing out here?
• Eat my leather!
• Hope you like the taste of black leather!
• Violence isn't the answer man.
• YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!
• That was a price for my old lady!
• Forget it, no way man.
• Hello, little lady.
• Howdy partner!
• Adios amigo!
• You like the tits on those Ventruas waitresses?
• Burger Shot was made from roadkill.

"Old Cletus" vagrant

• What do you mean I can't use the bathroom? I gotta take my personal business somewhere.
• Hey, you need a bodyguard player. I can protect anyone around here.
• Something died in my underpants.
• I once had a dream, but it died in San Andreas.
• Two words for your gun: "Screw" and "you"!
• When I find that chihuahua, I'm gonna kill it!
• Have you ever been to that Glory Hole Theme Park?
• I was world heavyweight champion in 68.
• I had crabs the size of a baseball.
• The liverwurst was green, but I ate it anyway.
• Now you got the cooties, jackass!
• You ever suck the fudge of a Rusty Brown's ring doughnut?
• I shouldn't have eaten that taco...
• Tag! You're it!
• I hate this place.
• Woof! Woof!
• Excuse moi asshole!
• Has anyone seen my lizard?
• I can't masturbate anymore.
• When will I find true love...
• Jumping Jehosophat! I'm not ready to die!
• Are you, go ahead shoot me!
• OK, OK, don't shoot me.
• You mugging me? Do I look like your daddy to you?
• Hello there missy!
• Good day, sweetheart!
• Have you sniffed that icky-icky?
• Burger Shot burgers are tasty, even in the dumpster!
• My stomach is rumbling.

Los Santos taxi driver

• Why did I take this route?!
• Green means "go"!
• You're on with this car crash bullshit!
• I got a nephew with LSPD.
• Gun rhymes with run! You see? That's why I don't stop you little thugs!
• I'm so sick of these Los Santos gang wars and it's so easy they turned it so bad.
• Watch the road!
• I just bought this taxi!!
• I just collected a lot of sprunk cans for this car!
• I'm pressing charges!
• I'm gonna put my shoe up your poop shoot!
• No liquor thanks, I'm on duty.
• Sprunk on the rocks.
• Gotta go! Gotta go! I don't feel too bulletproof! And then they go bangin' again!
• Oh no! This is where I get off! Boy, this is not the wild west!
• I feel shame for your mother!
• HELP!! LSPD!! You demon bastard! My cab!
• You revived me? Those gangbangers do this?! What the hell is going on here?
• Get ready for an ass whoopin'!
• You think this is a parade!
• You blew your chance for friendship.
• Bangers and jackers! The future of Los Santos!
• I don't bang son, relax.
• Mouth to mouth? Hey, don't look at me.
• You got a glass jaw, baby gangsta!
• Papa don't take no jive!
• Come here, I wanna tell ya somethin'!
• Gettin' served by an old man!
• Turn the other cheek, boy!
• The bones are brittle but the jab is stiff!
• Knockin' you out and crackin' a Sprunk!

BMX rider

• I'm gonna crack your brain bucket!
• Too much rocket fuel bro.
• What a dick!

Bikini woman

• Get your fat body off the beach.
• You smell like shit.
• I'm special, asshole!
• Wow, you smell hot!
• My thong, asshole!
• Go pick somebody fat instead!
• Look at that guy!
• Hey you, you looking good!
• Nooooo! My hair!!
• You can't shoot me!! I'm American!!
• Hey fatty!
• Hey porky!
• Hey lardy!
• I'm fighting the war on fat.
• Get the hell out of my shadow.
• Good luck losing the weight.
• Stop staring at me!!
• I'm not broken, am I?
• Stop it you asshole!
• Go hit a fat person!
• Screw you dick!
• I thank God for not making me fat.
• Stop molesting me!
• You are disgustingly fat!!

Grove Street Families

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LSV killa! VLA killa! Come on Carl, relax! Glad it ain't my ride. Shit! Slow down homie! Slow your row CJ! Aw shit! The car's on fire! Ball-ass bitches! Bitch-ass lowlife, Ballas! Time for no kicks, Carl! What's with that motherfucking hooptie Carl? That clothes is not gangsta, Carl. You deaf or something Carl? Hey CJ man, I like the threads. Los Santos is cold in a motherfucker! Oh we upside-down now, bitch-ass! Family violence, yeah! Kick back Carl, damn! Bang bang ballsack, how do you like that?! See you round, homie. Still banging dude! Still bangin'! Take that, ballsack! Who's the bitch now homie? Take that ya LSV bitch! Oh that shit is whack, homie! You never seen no gangsta? Guh...thanks man...! (coughs) These kicks insult me personally. Ass touchers can't see us! I ain't drinking that bullshit! Where's that ho ass sister of mine? We families positively sir! We just protecting the hooood, officer! Screw you vagina holes! Sherm is my ho-MAY!! CJ I'll jack you a better car! Az-dicks! Get these bizzals in yo jizzals! Any of y'all seen sheefa? Hey Ballas! What's up now? Ball-LESS! I'm not scared of no ASS-lickers! Come on CJ, why you doing that? Come on Ballas, let's go! Vato fools! Those Aztecas are all mine! Is this a Balla bar? What is going on man? Move out of the way! Hey, watch it homie! Hey playboy, watch that! Hey CJ! What'cha doing?! They are all mine!! WOOO!! Now we're movin'! Where did you get your license from? WOOO!! We're flyin'! I can't go back to jail! You must be smokin'! My grandmama drive faster than that! CJ you're a maniac, man! It's on motherfuckers! Hey man! Who did that to your hair? Why do you do that shit? Bangin' and more bangin'. Bang, bang! You need to kick your barber's ass! Aw no no no! Damn! Look what you did to my ride! Hey man! Watch it!! I ain't scared of you! Don't let me get mad, officer! You are IGNORANT! Cover me! Duck homie! Hey baby! Right over here, baby! Don't be eyeballin' me fool! Hey Ballas cocksucka! Florida fucker! I'll kick yo ass man! You gone to tear da car up! Who taught you how to drive? That car is do-do! Hey yo hair is whack! Hey man! Look at me when you die! I'm a maniac! I can't be stopped! ASS-tecas have been lying down! Hey man, pass the blunt! Hey Aztecas! What up boy? Varrios goats! Ballas gonna cry to moms! Vagos eat my shit! VLA are gonna bleed! Die VLAs! Ryder was right about you CJ! I want the best CJ! Grove Street OG coming through! Can I get my drink on? Man, how come you can't see me? You can't drive for shit! Slow down, for goodness sake! Shit, you drive like a motherfucker! We're upside-down! Aw shit, I ain't got no wings CJ! This car is flying! Wait a second! Those aztecs fools. CJ, whos been drawing on you? Am I invisible over here? Shit! I'm suckin' a roach! My motherfucking car, look at it!! You hit me fool!! Aw man, my shit! Aw you hit me! You motherfucking fool! You're in dog shit man, I don't give a shit! Bay-sucking fools! South-side fools! Suck on my 9, Ballas! VLA are gonna fade, man! Go back to your ugly Varrios! I want the best motherfucker. What is this shit you're drinking? Not exactly premium liquor it is. Keep up your speed, CJ! Aw man, we're on fire! Aw man, we're stuck in the burning bucket! Oh shit! Fool! You hit them! Look out! CJ nooooooo!!! Now we're rolling CJ! Kilo Tray's lookin' for trouble. A Johnson boy in a hooptie? A fat bastard! Hey nice ride CJ! Hey man, respect the ink dude! Slammin' ride CJ! Looking popped holmes! Trippin' cartoons CJ! Aw man!! You asshole! Dumbass car! Aw man! Shit, it's all broke! Aw man, this is good weed. CJ, you're ruining my buzz here. Heads down! Duck! You've been messin' with the Grove! We need a car! Yo we got enough CJ! Hey! Chill, motherfucker! Get your fucking hands off me! Oh man! That fucker's in my car! That's my brother's ride! No man, got better shit to do. I was just complimenting CJ! Man that ain't cool! What's up holmes? Man! Life is beautiful! We gotta spray these Balla fools! You're going down Balla bitch! You want some of this bitches?! Northsides go home! Vagos can't see me! Die LSVs! Vagos die! LSVs die! Vagos vamoose! Vagos eat shit! Death to Varrios! Death to Aztecas! Who rolled this piece of shit man?! You tryin' to kidnap me fool?!

Ballas

• I'll shoot everybody in this bitch!
• Hey you better be watching yourself fool!
• Catch his ass Ballas!
• There he is! There he is!!
• His tyres! Shoot his tyres!!
• Can't anybody ride like us?
• Hey dude don't bang, he perpetrate!
• Hey man cover my back!
• Don't make me get out of this car!
• Man, I break no rule!
• Aw shit!
• Watch it fool!
• Don't roll to my hood! You know nobody rolls in my hood!
• Everybody duck down!
• Hey the season is over now!
• Hey the game is over now busta!
• Hey baby! Hey baby!
• Hey man, don't look at me like that!
• Hey man, we victorious!
• What hood you ridin' for playa?
• Oh you just gonna do it like that huh?
• Hey get your hands off me!
• Hey man, back off me fool!
• I was straight down fool!
• I'm a catch you fool!
• Hey car-jack mart! Hit the bitch!
• Hey, let's frush these busters!
• Why you gotta do that?
• Say man, gimme all your moonlight now!
• Get down man I see you. You can run but you can't hide!
• Blast 'em Grove Street punks!
• Man, fuck that bitch warren!
• Hey it's on now!
• Hey good looking man!
• Hey taxi! Slow up fool!
• Hey taxi! I need some love!
• Hey man this is a B-ride, you got a ticket?
• Say man, what hood you're from?
• You need to take that back on the other side now!
• We is law abiding citizens!
• I'm big when I'm sitting on my wallet.

Mexican drug dealer

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I've seen your face officer! Fuck you holmes! Junkies are pussies. I sell drugs to children. I've been with your wife officer. Holmes, you need some rich man's eye? I got what you need. I ain't a drug dealer! I got a wife and 13 children! Don't look at me asshole! What are you looking at puto? I do with your wife officer! Who d'you think you're messing with? You want a little pick-me-up? You know this beer makes me want to piss. You push me, you want to die?! I love making junk things bad! Please officer! This is discrimination! Come back here puto! ASSHOLE! Come back and fight ese! I'll be back asshole! Who the fuck do you think you are ese?! I heard you the first time, fuck off! You're too proud ese! You're a pathetic junkie! Look at that asshole! I live the American Dream! I ain't a drug dealer! I'm a war veteran! I remember you! I know who you are! Oh no! That's real bad news! This is gonna be bad for business! If you have it, I'm gonna be your priest! I need some better customers. I know who you are, drug fiend! I'll see you in half an hour I guess. Customers are such losers. Have you ever heard of inflation?!

Orange 12 pedestrian

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Come on fool. Kick me a Logger. I ain't no alcoholic, I'm a weed head. Steal one drink and a bartender starts trippin'. I ain't nursin' no drunk. Do Loggers come in a 40 ounce? I prefer Chronic. Man, stop playin' with me! Honk means get the hell on, man! Is you high? You're like my asshole, always holdin' up shit. Move bitch! I'm too high for this shit, move! You playin' with me? Stop playin'. Don't push me. I've come to the edge, man. Man, don't be runnin' up on me. Raise up, mark. Can't you see I'm busy bein' high? All that aggression. You on sherms? Go smoke some Cheeba. You're Madd Doggin' me, man. Get your hands out my pockets! I'm a get me a Happy Farmer Kit. That esse put dust in my weed. I smoke cause it gives me peace of mind. Them white boys had me on Crystal Meth. Weed, money, same difference. Gonna shoot me over $200, man? I smoke cause it gives me knowledge. You still wearin' prison issue, man? You send clothes money on crack, huh? It's laundry day, huh? You so fat, you jumped in the air and you got stuck. Back of your neck look like a pack of hot dogs. Did someone die in your mouth? Do you shower in do-do? Man, you stink. Why you got to be like that? Man, why you tryin' to fade me? Nice outfit, high roller. Came up on some nice clothes, boy. Can't find them threads at no swap meet. You swollen as shit man. You lift weights? I lift joints. Smells good, boy. Where can I buy your smell? Ya smell good, man. Now I got to steal another bike. Gimme drugs! I'll forget about the bike. Stolen bikes don't have no insurance. I'm the one supposed to drive high, not you. Now I got to steal another car. I would call the po-po. You got enough weed to fix this? I'm too high for this shit. Damn! What the hell? I'm movin'! Aw, you trippin'. Stay off the crack, man. You on one. Scandalous! Say, man, what's on special? I don't smoke all the time. I need the good shit, man! The good shit! Gimme the proper, man. I'm a lick you like Mr. Whoopee. I'm a soak you up like a biscuit. You, me, weed - what a threesome. Stoned with a stone cold jab. My heart don't pump no Sprunk. I'm a beat ya like you stole somethin'. Knockin' you out, and smokin' your money. I hate getting stole on. Another one, damn it. I can't loose man, hit me! I feel my card comin', hit me! Feelin' lucky, hit me! Come one, dealer! Gimme another one! Hit me! Bitch! Dealer, you cheatin'! I ain't got enough left for a sack. That ain't count. I said "Stay", not "Hit". Man, I'm cool, no more cards. This hand is righteous. No more, I'll ride with this hear. No more, dealer. I'll stay. No, I'll stay. Yes! We dealers stick together, you know. Man, I can't be faded, man. Did you think you could beat me? All praise due to the weed! Santos fools runnin' the casino, man. Do it again. I let you win that time, man. Hell yeah, let's go smoke and celebrate. Spend yo winnin's on a sack. We played Russain roulette. My P.O. don't know I left Los Santos. Hey, lemme borrow some of ya chips. Let me borrow some of ya chips. I got all ya'lls money! Did it on one coin too! The slots love me! One yank, made all that bank. Man, I was just playin' with ya. Man, stop playin', the po-po watchin'. Calm yo ass down. How you gonna draw down on your homie? I thought we was homies? This fool is trippin'! Man, I stole this first! Damn, I'm slippin'. Come on, man. Ain't we the same set? Man, you on one. Wait, man, the rollers is watchin'. I'm a civilian, man. How you gonna run up on me? Damn, you scandalous! Oh, busta! Stupid ass mark! My homies gonna find you! Bitch! You ain't a G! You know we enemies now, right? Yeah, boy, you better bail! I just got to steal another one. Shit. Why you drive off, mark! Man, I will kick your ass! You hear me? Forget you! I'm a go smoke. Fine! Fine! You can't have none of my endo. Why you trippin', man? I just stole this money from ya mamma! You just gonna smoke it up. Hold up, man, the rollers is watchin'. Yeah, but I can't fade it, man. Fo sho. That's some mark ass shit. The bomb, man. Oh, that's right! And it's tight, man! Nah, but it's crackin' though, huh? Not yet, man Nah, man, nah. Oh, no. Man, you blowin' my high. Get out my face, trick. Hey little mamma. What's poppin'. Hey, baby, you don't remember me, do you? Hey, man, where the weed at? What's happenin', homeboy? What's up dog? Call me with some Chronic, aight? Later! I gotta bail, in a minute. Later homie. Lemme go find some Chronic. Later. You know about that Happy Farmer Kit? You been to Sha-La's yet? Ever smoke weed from San Fierro? You tried that grub at Cluckin' Bell yet? Hey, you visit that Blotto shop? Some fat sherm is makin' me tweak. Weed spot is dry as hell man. Man, I've got some Northern Lights, straight from Canada. Got me nice and sprung! I ain't feelin' nothin'. A second chance at life? That shit look painful. Do it hurt? Walk it off! Well your draws don't smell too bad. I dun spent all my duckets on weed. Damn! This is the bomb! Should I buy a dub, or should I buy this? I can't fade this, man. How much is this shit again? Can I pay for this with bud? I can refund this tomorrow, right? Yeah, my money smell like weed, so!? You know I'm about to kick your ass, right? Come on fool, get off! Stop that shit! You're ruinin' my high, man! I ain't got no money! How about I pay you Saturday mornin'? You drive like you on drugs. I know you can see me! Taxi! You got ran the hell over! Scrooch over, let me hit someone too. Forget drive-by's. You drive over! Take me to the drugs, pronto! I got to pay you in bud. Drive! I'm clockin' here! Thanks, man! I'm a go get high now. Righteous! If I ever need speed for weed, you the one. Here's some extra, go on, get high. Extra chump change for some Cheeba. Am I high, or did we switch drivers? That's my dealer you jacked, man! Say, drop me off at the weed spot. That Chronic got me, man. Man, why you want to steal this bucket anyway? Now how will my dealer do the drop off?

Quantum Man pedestrian

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When will you villains learn? Taste the sweet anvils that are my fists. If you give me money, I'll give a super blowjob. I forgot to sew pockets on my tights. Quantum Man can be your drinking buddy! My superhearing has detected an emergency! You villains never learn! Oh! That tickles! Taste my wrath! You dare to aim at citizens?! Quantum Man never shrinks from battle! Must...catch...bullets! Stop! In the name of justice! I have no choice but to agree. Agreed, good citizen! SILENCE! Evil one! Your deeds has come to an end! Be vigilant! Why thank you good citizen! I only use my powers against supervillains. Hello good citizen! You are risking everything in combat! I have powerful thighs. My super-speed is no match for you! You dare aim at Quantum Man?! Panic not good citizens! FLEE! I dare you to immobilize that firearm! This planet is insane! I am Quantum Man, I have come to the universe to protect the innocent! Hello female citizen! Hello sir! Have you seen the regular reaction? Glory thee to this powerful moment! In the name of subnotomic! On my world, I was known as a bum. STOP! In the name of justice! There is no reasoning with people! I must agree with the gravity of this universe. My compliments good lady. Please excuse me citizen. I must return to crime patrol. My duty calls. Hello there sir! Dark forces are gathering here. Your timing was inplecible. Do you know what you've done?!

African-American hippie

• Fight the power brother!
• Let's be peaceful brother!
• They don't want us expanding our minds.
• Relax! I'm only pulling out my wallet!
• Brother I have no beef with you.
• You see a black man trying to drive?
• I believe I have a right to self-defence.
• I know who you are pig!
• I'm gonna beat the Uncle Tom outta you!
• You gonna do drive by Uncle Tom?
• Always a sellout pulling a trigger!
• I'm late for Dr.Ackbar's knowledge.
• Stop harassing me 5-0!
• Get a good life snitch!
• I like message reps!
• Jack Howardson making pigs look cool!
• Don't eat to die brother! EAT TO LIVE!
• Clean the lies from your lives!
• The revolution needs brothers like you!
• Capitalism breeds accidents!
• Capitalism breeds car crashes!
• Legalise it and we'll advertise it!
• My people love it.
• You need to be corrected brother!
• Please brother! Stop the violence!
• Unhand me you sellout!
• Thieving Uncle Tom!
• Brainwashed bastard!
• Of course but I won't discuss it openly!
• Kiss my ass snitch!
• Traitor!
• Beware the beast sister!
• Beware the beast brother!
• Crack dealers destroy our community!
• The New World Order has enslaved our people!
• My fine African garments!
• Your driving lacks street knowledge!
• Stay in the driving seat brother!
• Now we're both victims of capitalism!
• Those garments are attrocious brother.
• Look at that strong black brother, now that's an fine African warrior!
• Brothers in the drivers seats intimidate you?!
• You're acting kinda strange.
• Violence breeds more violence fool!
• You're too old for the man!
• Rejecting messager, but consisting the message.
• No more crime please uncle brother!
• I only deal with revolutionaries.
• Heard much about the New World Order?
• Capitalism breeds violent deaths!
• You know anything about the crack conspiracy?
• Too strong and too black to die!
• Look at that! They're hatin' me!
• The revolution is coming, I'm wearing my best African garments.
• The ancestors sent me back!
• San Fierro is waking up to the truth!
• TAXI!
• You're not a government agent are you?
• Jacking cars is what they want you to do!

Bone County redneck

• How come they don't allow donkeys in this bar?
• Adam and Eve was brother and sister.
• I'm telling you, horse is the new pork.
• I'm telling ya man cousins is legal, this is crazy!
• Move you dumb retard!
• So the donkey walks into a bar...
• Hey! I ain't got all day!
• You stinking piece of shit! MOVE!
• Next time I punch your face.
• You inbred or something, you can't see me?
• What do you mean change my socks?
• What a rustbucket!
• What a piece of shit car!
• I'm gonna get myself a monster truck!
• HEY! You look out!
• Hey! This is my pa's car!
• You damn Yankee!
• When d'you learn to drive?!
• Come on, punch me!
• He's got a gun!!
• Who the hell do you think you are?!
• HEY! Get off!
• Hey get back here! Where do you think you're going?!
• You've been messing with the wrong guy!
• I was gonna introduce you to my sister.
• Heck no. No.
• Hey I ain't got all day buddy!
• Pardon me!
• Hey come on man! Look out!
• What do you think of this here chrome shotgun?
• Ma and pa were past cousins.
• Donkey's afraid of a big fat man.
• Whoa man, you sure is fat.
• Oh you rude bastard.
• NOT MY BIKE!
• Oh geez! That was my favourite bike!
• Hey! I just stole this car!
• You're dead donkin' me buddy!
• Oh come on asshole!
• Out of my way!
• Come on! Gimme your best shot!
• Come on, I'm gonna break your nose!
• HELP! I'm being shot at!
• Beat it tough guy! I ain't afraid of ya!
• Bastard jacked me!
• Oh, ma's gonna be so mad!
• Hey that varmint son'bitch stole my car! Oh how am I going to get home?
• Oh pa's gonna whup me for this one!
• This here car's mine! So out you go boy!
• Watch your step on the way out! Hee hee!
• Hey I was just bein' friendly!
• You got something against donkeys?
• Hey leave me alone!
• Well hello there miss!
• Hello donkey lips!
• Have you ever lived in a trailer park?
• Sprunk an' scotch is my favourite drink.
• Cover your eyes donkey!
• This store is fancy!
• Oh I want me some of these!
• Oh, I think I'm gonna puke...
• Are you insane?!
• Step on it buddy, I'm in a mood.
• That was fast. Here's some change.
• My cousins are gonna get you for this!
• See ya later donkey hater!
• I'm the victim in this here situation!
• Now get the hell out!
• I was tryin' to be nice!
• Hey we was just talkin'!
• These bar stools sure are squishy.
• Hey let's get a move on!
• I'm gonna get angry!
• Pardon me.
• Hey mister!
• See ya later pretty lady!
• Have you ever raised donkeys.
• Dude, Burger Shot is disgusting.
• Lordy Lordy!
• I wonder if they got this in yellow?
• Would you ring me for this?
• Hey there!
• Hey that was cool!
• Sonny Jim, I'm in a rush!
• Good job, here's the change.
• Please mister, let me go!
• I'll never see my donkey again!
• You city folk are so rude.
• Yeah it's the Devil, oh it's disgusting, I can't bear it.
• I got no time for you man.
• See you later.
• Have you ever tried licking a Rusty Brown?
• Incest is a beautiful thing!
• I just love the countryside.
• I think you just killed that person!
• Howdy!
• I just can't bear the city.
• You seen my life! You've seen my donkey too?
• There is no way I'm payin' for that!
• Hey it's about time!
• Somebody help me! Hey, this guy's touchin' me!
• I'll let you touch me if you let me go!

James Earl Cash impersonator

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Take me with you. OH NO! NO! Not this again! Missy help!!! He is one of them!!! Aw crap!! You're not one of them! Oh no! Not my eyes!!! Get off my anus! This is my car! I need this car!! Each to their own, whatever man. They drink short on the chemicals. We all got to keep movin'! Get a move on! Amnesia... Gotta keep movin', can't take me again. Crazy maniac!! Oh you prick! My brain!! HOO!! OH!! You missed! HA! You can't steal my mind man! Oh no! Not my ass!! I can't leave this car! Get your hands off me man! He's one of them!! I need this car!!! You don't know what you're doing, alien scum!!! Yes, it's terrible! No, not since I have this thing in my head. Howdy. BYE NOW! Bye now, watch the skies! Have you ever seen a visitor? Have you ever seen one of them? What year is this? Where's alumium fall? You're wasting your life. You call this a life? Are you a messenger? Just let me go man! I'm saved!

Mohawk punk

• He got nothing on me!
• Hey this is bullshit! Where are the charges?
• Man, get out of the way!
• OUT OF THE WAY!
• Something's gonna be very wrong with you!
• Everyone knows me at the casinos!
• You call that a car?
• Yo, yo, yo, yo!
• That tattoo is FIERCE!!
• OPEN YOUR EYES MAN!!
• Man, I got this detailed!
• Damn idiot!
• Nooooooooo!!
• What are you retarded?!
• Can we just talk this out!
• WA-HA-HO!!!
• AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
• I was done dealin' with diapers, I'm gonna kick your ass!
• Oh what do you think you're doing?!
• Oh this is not cool man!
• You got no witnesses?
• You wanna see a trick pal?
• What are you, some kind of joker?
• Hey watch your shoes man!
• Man I just invented this trick!
• You wanna bet on that?
• What's the matter with you?
• Unlike you I got somewhere to be!
• Man some people...!
• Come on man, let's beat the phones!
• Ho ho, I'm feelin' lucky today!
• Man, that is a rolling disaster!
• Nice car pal!
• Now that car is cool!
• BLIND OR SOMETHING?!!
• Hey LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BIKE!!
• Oh you're blind as a bat!
• Oh what did you do?!
• OOOHH!!!
• You call that driving?!
• AAAHHH!!!
• You better not screw me man, I need some of that stuff.
• Man, I hope you like knuckle sandwiches!
• Oh watch where you point that!
• Oh this is not working out!
• I won't have any insurance!!!
• MAN I JUST STOLE THAT CAR BACK!!!
• GIMME THAT!!
• I need this more than you do!
• Awesome!
• N.O.!
• Go fly a kite!
• Forget you!
• Have you played craps?
• Yo, the police are hassling me all the time!
• I don't believe this!
• Look at the tag on that!
• Hey TAXI!!!
• HEY WATCH OUT MAN!!! OH GOD!!!!
• HEY THIS AIN'T DRIVING MAN!! THIS IS HUNTING!!
• Have you driven a Hustler?
• I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
• I'm gonna crush your skull man!
• You ever gamble!
• Man, I'm banned from three casinos!
• Man looks better on the windows!
• UH!! I'M GONNA DIE MAN!!!
• Playin' cards are gonna make me a millionairre!

English actress

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Hurry it up please, I've got a casting couch in five minutes! Oh mummy! Come on, move your arse! At least my orgasm repertoire has been broadened. Oh bloody hell! Get it up for God sakes! Ah stupid Americans! I'm British, ya know. You filthy Americans! Oh what a lovely tight arse! You yanks, you don't know how to bloody drive! Won't somebody do something? OH SHIT! Oh you're pissing me off! Done every agent in this town. Eight hours on set and every orifice is sore. (crying) I want to go home! Oh excuse me! Sorry! Method acting doesn't come into a freeway. I asked for an Oscar and I got a XXX. What is that smell? I'd like to have you on a casting couch. Oh gosh! Oh no!!! I don't believe this! Isn't there a place for you? "Feel the part" he says. Oh my! How rude! I thought he meant "vagina monalogues". Oh you STINK! God those tattoos are awful! Fine it suits me. You smell gorgeous! Tattoos make me horny! Oh for Christ's sake! OW!! My nose! COWARD!! Well hello there! Wow, you're a beefcake aren't you? Oh bollocks, lost again. About bloody time! Hurrah!! At last! I find this game so confusing, let's play for real money huh? I never bet on red, 23 red seems to be calling me. Hey mate, is that real? I was warned about this! Fine, have it your way chum! Typical Los Santos! Go me! Go me! Oh well done! How very well done! A real gun?! Is that real?! HANDS OFF! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF THIS! Give it back you arsehole! So busy on set, haven't found the time. No time for this. See you around. Yeah, cheerio mate. Divorce made me feel very depressed. It's another day in America! Hello, how do you do? Nice meeting you. I'll never get a break in real movies. These yanks? They're nutters! Excuse me, how much is that please? COO-EE! TAXI! Oh Lord! Bloody hell! What are you doing?! Really really well done. What are you doing you half-wit? Good lord who are you?! This town makes people so rude! Utterly compelling yeah... No, I never had that pleasure. Hello, hello! See ya! Have you ever tried to make it in as an actress. I love the film movie business. I love acting, film business is my one true passion. Choices, choices. Can I have just that one. OI!! TAXI!! Hey look where you're going! That was top great! That would never happen in London! Another day in America... These Yanks, they're nutters. Show me what you're made of! Hit me! I'm gonna teach you some manners! I know how to protect myself! Ah, you think you're hard, do you then! I've had a bloody long day! Come on then, you cretin!

English actor

Show transcript

Mate, come on! Shifty shifty! Have a bloody bath mate. You bloody stink. You fat bastard, you ate all the pies! Hey dude! I'm late for an audition! I love fighting! Makes me feel like a real man! Oi guv'nor! I was a gangster back home but now I'm an actor. Move you wanker! Your loss you bloody wanker! I'm like a pig in pig shit! You bloody Yank! Call the bloody embassy! Move your blooming arse! Piss off! Wow! I'm in Vinewood! Did your mum dress you? I was talking to you mate! I love your clobber mate! You gotta lose a bit of weight fatty! British press ruined me, never talked about me at all. You've been on the pies ay mate? Well, up yours wanker! You're doing more press ups than me! HEY!! I just bought this! HELP! Oh, you wanker! You thick Yank! Oi wanker! Look out! I'm an actor, not a bollard! You look dressed in the dark. You look like a stupid plonker! That's good gear, where d'you get that mate? You smell blinded! Oh mister! You can't hit me! I'm an actor! You upstart colonial prat! Hey mate, bring me a little bit of trumpet! Bollocks that is! That is shite! Grrrrrr... shite! I'm a rich man! RICH! Did I say "stick"? I don't do death scenes, I do acting! Piss off you septic bastard! You thieving pillock! BOLLOCKS! Mate, I needed that car! Call my agent, I needed a new jamjar! No bloody liberty, taking the piss. Better bloody believe it! Enough of that shit mate, excuse me. See ya later treacle! Have you been down South London? Have you been to South London? Have you watched that five uncles show? Not the bike! Not the bike! I warn you: I know how to box! Oh you prat! You nearly ran me over you prat! I need some bugle real bad! Card! Gimme a card! I'm good. Blinded! I'm a bloody champion! Blinded! Blinded! Come on, come on black! You shitebag machine, pay me now! Don't shoot me! I'm a Londoner! WANKER! Get away from the motor! My motor! I've been robbed! BOLLOCKS! That is well uncool! I mean nothing by it mate! Bloody shite, I know mate. A load of bollocks mate. Rest your cakehole there. Hey love! Awright mate! See you gorgeous. Have you been to old Liberty City? Guv'nor! Safe mate, yeh mate. I cannot bear criticism. I hate reading, I can't do it. I hate authority. Call me old ma mate, please? Bloody terrible! That's right up my alleyway, that one! Oi cab! Over here son! Come on man, I gotta dash! Am I gonna be alright mate. This town is blinded! Put my price on that! Oi taxi! Get over here! Come on, mate! Gimme some! Come on, eh! I'm gonna cream you, sunshine! Look, mate, I can anger myself! Oh, you bloody Yank! Is that all you got, you bloody Yank? I'll smash you in half, mate! Come on, wanker, come on! You're messing with a real man now! You're at your depths, mate. You're messin' with a Londoner! South Londoner!

Native American Alien (DNMOLC1)

• We must take care of Mother Earth.
• You're a genius civilization.
• Is this mating?
• I come in peace.
• You are poised for extinction.
• I do not wish to hurt you.
• I will throw with my right?
• I will spill your fluids.

Construction worker

• Out of the way, man!
• Hurry up, I gotta get to the site!
• Come on, I got work to do!
• Move it, asshole!
• Buy American, you piece of shit!
• I don't got all day here!
• Move it or lose it, moron!
• This ain't a parking lot, asshole!
• I'm gonna be late for my bowling league!
• What's your problem, pal?
• Got some sort of disorder, buddy?
• Tourettes, huh?
• Watch where you're walking, moron!
• You want me to shoot you with my nailgun?
• Yeah, just try that again.
• Do you want a black eye?
• Easy!
• Hey!
• Watch it!
• You in a rush?
• You pushin' me, buddy?
• What's your problem, buddy?
• My bowling team's in first place.
• Foreman takes all the credit.
• Got this new table saw.
• Bowling is such an intellectual game.
• Fell off the scaffolding last week.
• I wouldn't even wear that on the site!
• You look like shit!
• What the hell are you wearing?
• Who paid you to wear those clothes?
• Woah, fatty!
• You're gonna give yourself a heart attack!
• My god, you sure are fat!
• You are a fat bastard!
• Dude! Take a shower!
• Try some deodorant, buddy!
• And I thought I smelled bad!
• My god, you stink!
• Very flashy!
• You sure know how to dress!
• I like those clothes!
• You must be in construction too, huh!
• Gee, I wouldn't mess with you!
• You a trainer or something?
• Nice cologne, bro!
• Bet you get a lot of ladies with that cologne!
• Maybe I should try that cologne!
• I wish I smelled that good!
• You been to that new 24/7?
• You tried using a belt cinder?
• You ever do it yourself?
• Have you checked out that new Willard dealership?
• Have you ever tried bowling?
• I oughta kick your ass!
• Bring it on, buddy!
• Yeah, this's gonna be fun!
• I'm gonna mess you up!
• I needed a release all day!
• Come on, asshole!
• Let's see what you got, douchebag!
• Go ahead, make me hurt!