Politics/Script: Difference between revisions
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==Script== | ==Script== | ||
'''Leavis''': Do you have an appointment? | |||
'''Johnny''': Uhh... no I thought I'd inquire about a membership. | |||
'''Leavis''': Excuse me? | |||
'''Johnny''': Yeah, under this ravaged, drug-addled exterior lies the heart of a reactionary prick, so I thought I'd fit right in here. | |||
'''Leavis''': I think you should leave, sir, before I call the police. | |||
'''Johnny''': "I think you should leave sir, before I...", dude, it is the twenty-first century. Let me tell you something... you've got a job wiping rich pricks' asses, and for some reason you seem a little pleased with yourself. | |||
'''Leavis''': Will you leave? | |||
'''Johnny''': Trust me man, nothing would please me more, but I'm supposed to see Tom Stubbs and well.. he said to meet him here. | |||
'''Leavis''': Oh, Mr. Stubbs, sir. Okay, you only had to say so, sir. Follow me, will you. Mr. Stubbs is in the day spa, receiving some back work. | |||
'''Johnny''': Right you are. | |||
''(Leavis takes Johnny to Stubbs)'' | |||
'''Leavis''': Mr. Stubbs. A gentleman for you. Thank you, Leavis. And thank you. | |||
''(Leavis leaves)'' | |||
'''Stubbs''': So, you're David Grossman's friend? | |||
'''Johnny''': Oh yeah, we're old, old buddies. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Love the old boy network. | |||
'''Johnny''': Yeah, I can imagine. So what is it that you want? | |||
'''Stubbs''': Could you excuse us, sugar? | |||
'''Masseuse''': Okay, sure. | |||
'''Stubbs''': And thank you, best massage I ever had that didn't involve a happy ending or a poignant sense of guilt afterwards. | |||
'''Masseuse''': See you tomorrow. | |||
''(The masseuse leaves)'' | |||
'''Stubbs''': Tom Stubbs. How do you do? | |||
'''Johnny''': Well, now that you mention it... I'm starting to feel a little queasy. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Don't be pathetic and no secrets here, pal. Now listen. I'm in a bit of a bother, sport. | |||
'''Johnny''': Well I think they can fix that with surgery these days, you know. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Can we stop with the jokes? Grossman tells me you're reliable. | |||
'''Johnny''': Grossman? That guys an asshole. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending to be a good guy. I'm a politician. I'm a cynic. I'm very needy. I need people to like me. I need people to like me so that they elect me. I need people to elect me so that I feel marginally less bad about myself when I stare into the mirror. That being said, I try to do a good dead here and there. | |||
'''Johnny''': Democracy's a beautiful thing. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Personally, I'd prefer a benign dictatorship without the pretense of choice, but let's leave the political discussions shall we? | |||
'''Johnny''': Yes, let's. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Unfortunately, an awful man has insured that my chances of being re-elected is pretty much zero. | |||
'''Johnny''': Why? Blackmail? | |||
'''Stubbs''': Not exactly. I need his money, and he hasn't died. | |||
'''Johnny''': What? You want me to kill your father? | |||
'''Stubbs''': No. That's disgusting. How could you suggest such a thing? My father died years ago, thank god. No. My uncle. That sanctimonious do-gooder controls the family trust. | |||
'''Johnny''': Whoa, that's heavy man. | |||
'''Stubbs''': Yes, so is being arrested for drug running and spending the next thirty years in prison. You and your little gang, I mean. | |||
'''Johnny''': I see, you make a wonderful politician. | |||
'''Stubbs''': I know. Now, you've got to get the old goat today. Make it spectacular. Make it appear as though it's a terrorist act. That'll do wonders for my campaign in all sorts of ways. Leavis will give you a package on the way out. Oh and Klebitz, trust me... I am what I am, but I look out for those who help me. | |||
'''Johnny''': A blackmailer with a conscience, beautiful. | |||
==Post mission phone call== | ==Post mission phone call== |
Revision as of 11:49, 20 August 2014
Script
Leavis: Do you have an appointment?
Johnny: Uhh... no I thought I'd inquire about a membership.
Leavis: Excuse me?
Johnny: Yeah, under this ravaged, drug-addled exterior lies the heart of a reactionary prick, so I thought I'd fit right in here.
Leavis: I think you should leave, sir, before I call the police.
Johnny: "I think you should leave sir, before I...", dude, it is the twenty-first century. Let me tell you something... you've got a job wiping rich pricks' asses, and for some reason you seem a little pleased with yourself.
Leavis: Will you leave?
Johnny: Trust me man, nothing would please me more, but I'm supposed to see Tom Stubbs and well.. he said to meet him here.
Leavis: Oh, Mr. Stubbs, sir. Okay, you only had to say so, sir. Follow me, will you. Mr. Stubbs is in the day spa, receiving some back work.
Johnny: Right you are.
(Leavis takes Johnny to Stubbs)
Leavis: Mr. Stubbs. A gentleman for you. Thank you, Leavis. And thank you.
(Leavis leaves)
Stubbs: So, you're David Grossman's friend?
Johnny: Oh yeah, we're old, old buddies.
Stubbs: Love the old boy network.
Johnny: Yeah, I can imagine. So what is it that you want?
Stubbs: Could you excuse us, sugar?
Masseuse: Okay, sure.
Stubbs: And thank you, best massage I ever had that didn't involve a happy ending or a poignant sense of guilt afterwards.
Masseuse: See you tomorrow.
(The masseuse leaves)
Stubbs: Tom Stubbs. How do you do?
Johnny: Well, now that you mention it... I'm starting to feel a little queasy.
Stubbs: Don't be pathetic and no secrets here, pal. Now listen. I'm in a bit of a bother, sport.
Johnny: Well I think they can fix that with surgery these days, you know.
Stubbs: Can we stop with the jokes? Grossman tells me you're reliable.
Johnny: Grossman? That guys an asshole.
Stubbs: Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by pretending to be a good guy. I'm a politician. I'm a cynic. I'm very needy. I need people to like me. I need people to like me so that they elect me. I need people to elect me so that I feel marginally less bad about myself when I stare into the mirror. That being said, I try to do a good dead here and there.
Johnny: Democracy's a beautiful thing.
Stubbs: Personally, I'd prefer a benign dictatorship without the pretense of choice, but let's leave the political discussions shall we?
Johnny: Yes, let's.
Stubbs: Unfortunately, an awful man has insured that my chances of being re-elected is pretty much zero.
Johnny: Why? Blackmail?
Stubbs: Not exactly. I need his money, and he hasn't died.
Johnny: What? You want me to kill your father?
Stubbs: No. That's disgusting. How could you suggest such a thing? My father died years ago, thank god. No. My uncle. That sanctimonious do-gooder controls the family trust.
Johnny: Whoa, that's heavy man.
Stubbs: Yes, so is being arrested for drug running and spending the next thirty years in prison. You and your little gang, I mean.
Johnny: I see, you make a wonderful politician.
Stubbs: I know. Now, you've got to get the old goat today. Make it spectacular. Make it appear as though it's a terrorist act. That'll do wonders for my campaign in all sorts of ways. Leavis will give you a package on the way out. Oh and Klebitz, trust me... I am what I am, but I look out for those who help me.
Johnny: A blackmailer with a conscience, beautiful.