Publicity Tour

Revision as of 16:01, 2 September 2008 by gtw>Olympics (→‎Script)
Mission
Publicity Tour
Game GTA Vice City
For Love Fist
Location Downtown, Vice City
Reward $8000
Unlocks Love Fist Limo
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Publicity Tour is a Grand Theft Auto: Vice City given to protagonist Tommy Vercetti by rock band Love Fist.

Mission

A psycho fan has placed a bomb in the Love Fist Limo, which will go off if the Limo goes under 50 mp/h, meaning Tommy has to drive over that speed until Love Fist diffuse the bomb in the Limo. Throughout the mission, on the top right side of the screen, a detonation bar will appear, if you slow down, it will fill up, if you speed up it will empty down. If the bar fills up completely, the limo explodes and the mission is a failure. When the bomb is diffused, Tommy drives Love Fist to their gig and after a cutscene, the mission is complete. There are four paths you can take to keep driving:

1) Vice Point: The hardest way. When you start driving make a turn to the opposite direction to which the lim is pointing, without lowering the speed too much. Keep driving through this path until you reach Prawn Island, then keep driving till you reach Vice Point, keep going along all routes you see until Love Fist diffuse the bomb.

2) Downtown: Make a turn to the path in the middle, (not the one the limo points to, nor the opposite direction) and keep driving through downtown, and a portion of Little Haiti and Little Havanna until Love Fist diffuses the bomb.

3) Cross Town: Drive straight through where the Limo is pointing and go thrugh the route with less turns. As of here it's basically the same as option 2, but you'll probably reach Viceport.

4) Airport Run: As indicated for path #3, but don't get comfortable for the straights. Traffics may unexpectedly appear and cause you to crash, causing the bomb to fill up faster. You'll need to find a place where there are'nt any traffics around so that the band members will figure out faster and easier. Head to the right where it leads to the Escobar International Airport. Get to the airport runway and then keep driving as fast as you can (since there are no hard corners), but avoid getting carried away as well, let alone planes that are either about to take off or land. Once the bomb is disarmed, head back to the concert. Your mission is complete.

Script

(Love Fist and Kent Paul are at the V-Rock Studios and Tommy enters the room)

Jezz Torrent: Tommy! Tommy! Tommy, man that psycho's back!

Tommy Vercetti: What's going on?

Kent Paul: That psycho won't leave Love Fist alone!

Jezz Torrent: You didnae kill him, man! And now he's back!

Kent Paul: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the thing is...

Jezz Torrent: The thing is, we need someone to drive the limo we can trust, cause that nutter keeps making threats!

Percy: I'm shittin' masel', I need ma ma!

Dick: We're all bricking ourselves, man.

Tommy Vercetti: Okay guys, calm down. I'll handle this. Normally I wouldn't busy myself driving around a bunch of drunken Scottish bisexuals. But in your case, I'll make an exception.

(Love Fist enter their limo, with Tommy as the driver)

Willy: At last man, time for a well earned drink.

Percy: The venue's just a hundred yards down the road, man.

Willy: Better make it a large one then.

Dick: Hey Tommy, change the tunes man.

Percy: I get confused if my head ain't banging. Ah look, what this. Hey Tommy, stick this tape on!

Psycho: Love Fist. Your time polluting the airwaves is over. I gave you the chance to be friends. Now I'm giving you the chance to die! Try and slow down and your limousine will explode, along with your BIG, HAIRY ARSES!

(Tommy drives the limo whilst Love Fist search for the bomb)

Jezz Torrent: Tommy pal, you gotta save the band.

Tommy Vercetti: I'm getting bored of this.

Jezz Torrent: Just keep the pedal to the metal!

Percy: We gotta find the bomb!

Dick: Can't we just keep driving around all day?

Willy: Aye, we've got plenty to drink.

Percy: Won't the bomb not be in the engine. We'll have to stop t get it.

Willy: We're all going to die! I'm gonna get drunk!

Dick: Hey, there's a queque here pal.

Percy: Willy! The answer ain't in the drinks cabinet.

Willy: Get out of my way!

Dick: Hey, the vodka bottle's got wires coming out of it!

Percy: That's not vodka, that's BOOMSHINE.

Love Fist: Aaaarghhhhh! It's wired to blow! Arghhhhhhhhh!

Percy: They always said the drink would kill me.

Jezz Torrent: I've seen this on the telly. You've got to pull out one of the wires.

Dick: Which wire?

Jezz Torrent: I don't no man. I don't have a clue!

Percy: Willy, say something. I'm gonna play base in hell!

Jezz Torrent: Tommy, man. Keep driving fast pal.

Dick: Somebody do something!

Percy: Aye, clever! Somebody do something, what kind of crap is that! I've seen braver girls.

Jezz Torrent: OK, tough guy, you do something.

Percy: Look, man. I play a musical instrument, I don't have a clue about bomb disposal.

Dick: Willy could just suck out the boomshine with a straw.

Willy: Aye, I've heard that your good at that kind of thing.

Percy: Hey, I was off my tits that night, as well as you know.

Dick: Just pass Willy a straw!

Willy: A STRAW! This is the Love Fist Tour Bus!

Percy: Where am I gonna get a straw from, know wat I mean?

Jezz Torrent: Which wire, Tommy?

Tommy Vercetti: The green one!

Jezz Torrent: There isn't a green one! Or is this the green one?

Dick: Any of these wires look green to you?

Percy: Oh, no! Deaths in the cards! Everything looks green!

Jezz Torrent: I should have dumped you lot when I had the chance, man.

Willy: Glory seeker.

Percy: Capitalist.

Jezz Torrent: I've been carrying you for years.

Dick: Shut up, you're a muppit.

Willy: A big screaming girl!

Dick: Yeah. Shut up and pull out a wire.

Jezz Torrent: Which wire?

Dick: This one.

Percy: No!

Jezz Torrent: Man, we're okay. We haven't been blow up.

Dick: Tommy, man. Nice one, rock and roll.

Jezz Torrent: Ain't we got a gig to go to?

Willy: A rocket to make. Gropies to abuse.

Love Fist: LOVE FIST! LOVE FIST! LOVE FIST!

Willy: Have you finished with that bottle?

(Tommy drives Love Fist to the concert, with Percy and Dick staying to talk to Tommy)

Percy: Jezz is running the tape. So we thought we'd show you our Temple of Rock - Get a feel for the Love Fist Fury!

Dick: Listen to yourself, amn. It's papier mache and gaffa tape.

Percy: Hey, to the kids it's a temple. And we are the priests.

Dick: Aye, well. If the kids like their priests half cut and tone deaf, who am I to argue?

Percy: Oh geez. The tape's getting chewed again? At this rate, we'll never get to play it live.

Dick: Ooooh shite! My bowels...

Percy: We gotta get on with it - thanks again Tommy. Know what I am saying. Nice one, bye!

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