Starstalk

Starstalk magazine in GTA V.

Starstalk (stylised as StarsTalk) is a magazine in Grand Theft Auto V and Grand Theft Auto Online, which reports on the lives and careers of celebrities. Copies of Starstalk magazines can be found inside LTD filling station shops and 24/7 stores.

Employees

Reporters

Freelance photographers

News reports

Miranda Cowan pap fight

After Paparazzo, written by Gareth Wyn.

In what must be the most media attention washed-up hag Miranda Cowan has received since turning 30 and becoming irrelevant, rival paparazzi came to blows over shots of her allegedly slamming a speedball in the back of a limousine. The two paparazzi involved, Beverly Felton and Madison Fox, are long-term contributors to Starstalk and as odious a pair of douchebags as you'll ever meet, which is why we love them. But photos of Miranda 'The Silicone Slattern' Cowan? Come on, guys. You're a decade too later with those. That drug-addled cougar has had more plastic surgery than a burn victim. Step it up.


Fame or Shame is back!

After The Jewel Store Job, written by Gareth Wyn.

The celeb judges are back and they are ready to tussle as doe-eyed wannabe stars set out to be judged by three has-beens. Everyone at Starstalk is excited about the new season of Fame or Shame. Hugh remains a moody Brit, Anita gushes and slurs her way through the show and life in general, while Imran shills products like no other judge can. We also have to defend the show's choice to continue with Lazlow as host. While many complain he's a neurotic mess, we like seeing the banter between him and Hugh. Is a romance brewing? We'll keep you posted!


Poor Kerry's pooch.

After Vinewood Souvenirs - Kerry, written by Gareth Wyn.

What started out as just another obscenely extravagant Portola Drive shopping trip for supermodel Kerry McIntosh ended in terror when a maniac chased down her beloved dog Dexie and stole its $3,000 collar. Police are still looking for the assailant, described by eye witnesses as a Caucasian homeless drug addict somewhere between 40 and 60 year of age. Police have no leads but our hearts break for Kerry who must be devastated.


Love Fist’s Willie McTavish attacked!

After Vinewood Souvenirs - Willie, written by Tamara Dawkins.

Willie Mc Tavish, the bassist for the Scottish hair metal legends Love Fist, has been attacked by an obsessed fan in Los Santos' Tequil-la-la nightclub. The assailant forced his way into the club, punched the rock star in the mouth and made off with one of his gold teeth. Willie seemed relatively unfazed by the attack and continued drinking whiskey.


$3 million dollar car heist.

After Eye in the Sky, written by Jack Vinton.

The messy breakdown of fading record producer Chad Mulligan's marriage, which we're proud to have played such an integral part in bringing about, got a little messier today when his rare Truffade Z-Type was carjacked in a Los Santos parking garage. Mulligan told reporters that he was lucky to survive the violent attack and that he will definitely be thinking twice about buying a 3,000,000 dollar car in the future. Was this a random robbery? Or was the assailant hired by Mulligan's wife to requisition the assets that he's trying to hide from the divorce settlement? I think we all know which is the more interesting story of the two, so that's the one we'll be reporting as fact over the coming weeks. Stay tuned.


Lazlow - body mods not a midlife crisis.

After Reuniting the Family, written by Jack Vinton.

Following the ridicule he has received recently, self appointed anodyne metrosexual TV host Lazlow held a press conference yesterday to tell anyone concerned (of which there were only two of us), that his recent body modifications were 'forced on him'. In a rambling testimony, Lazlow kept talking of dark forces at work and bad men who wanted him dead, and that somehow this was not a midlife crisis. Lazlow's agent told us afterwards via cellphone "he is a great guy but he's been under a lot of stress with the show not doing so well and he's always been something of a fantasist. Best not to take him too seriously."