Test Drive/Script

The following is a script of the Test Drive mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Script

(Dwaine and Jethro is seen staring at a Remington)

Cesar Vialpando: Hey Carl, there's two cars on the list, ese, and they're in the showroom across town, let's go get them!

Carl Johnson: I've always admired your direct approach, hombre.

(Outside the garage)

Cesar Vialpando: OK, let's go get those wheels!

(Once inside a vehicle)

Cesar Vialpando: I like this place, you know.

Carl Johnson: Where?

Cesar Vialpando: San Fierro, man. My home will always be the Varrios and El Corona, but this city, it has something gentle about it.

Carl Johnson: Yeah, I know what you mean. Kendl seems to like it to, you know?

Cesar Vialpando: Oh yeah, she's really getting her head into this business thing.

Carl Johnson: That's good, she's always been the brains in the family. She should get out the ghetto and make something of herself.

Cesar Vialpando: I think she's aiming to make something out of ALL of us, eh!

Carl Johnson: Yeah, she's the moms of the family now...

Cesar Vialpando: Hey, who's this 'Truth' guy, holmes? I don't think he's wrapped too tight!

Carl Johnson: He just sees everything from a different perspective, that's all. At first I thought he was just another acid casualty fruit cake. But some of the things he say... I don't know, man, it ain't all bullshit...

Cesar Vialpando: Hey, you gonna become an alien hunter, holmes?

Carl Johnson: I'll take a rain check on that one.

(Carl and Cesar arrive at Otto's Autos showroom)

Cesar Vialpando: This is the place! Hey man, the cars are upstairs!

Carl: Aw great! Why is nothing ever easy?

(Carl and Cesar walk upstairs)

Dealer: Can I help you two, errr, gentlemen?

Carl Johnson: Yeah, you can help by going to help some other motherfucker.

Dealer: Y- yeah, that sounds like a good idea!

Cesar Vialpando: Alright, CJ, it's time to roll! It's follow the leader, you better keep up!

(Cesar drives out of the window in an Elegy)

Carl Johnson: Aw, you a maniac, ese!

(Whilst on their respective vehicles)

Cesar Vialpando: Hey, CJ, is this walkie talkie working?

Carl Johnson: Yeah, reading you loud and clear!

Cesar Vialpando: C'mon, CJ, see if you can keep up with Cesar Vialpando! Beat the tram up the hill! Piece of chocolate cake!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city)

Cesar Vialpando: This tram driver must be shittng himself, holmes!

(Cops arrive)

Cesar Vialpando: Hello cops, what took you, eh?

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city)

Cesar Vialpando: Hey, CJ, watch this... NITRO!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city)

Cesar Vialpando: Follow me down the hill, holmes!

(Carl and Cesar continue to ride around the city)

Carl Johnson: OK, Cesar, that's enough fun. Let's get these cars back to the garage!

Cesar Vialpando: OK, CJ, hey, I know a quick route!

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage)

Cesar Vialpando: Holy SHIIIIIIIT! Fuck, holmes, did you see that!

Carl Johnson: Can we think about getting back before I end up in a carwreck barbeque?

Cesar Vialpando: Sure thing, holmes.

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage)

Cesar Vialpando: There's a shotcut this way!

(Carl and Cesar continue to make their way back to the garage)

Cesar Vialpando: Uh-oh, more cops! BACK UP, HOLMES, BACK UP! BACK UP!

(Carl and Cesar escape the police)

Cesar Vialpando: OK, we're good! See you back at the garage, CJ!