The Cousins Bellic/Script

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The following are dialog and mission scripts as seen during "The Cousins Bellic" in Grand Theft Auto IV.


The whole game starts with the picture fading from black, showing an erotically dressed woman hitting a man, (Dave), with a sado whip.

Dave: “Daddy’s back, you bitches… Daddy’s back, you bitches!”

Outside the door stands GTA IV’s main character, Niko Bellic, knocking at the door.

Niko: “Dave, come on. Come on, Dave!”

Another man comes into the picture

Hossan Ramzy : “Niko, what are you doing?”

Niko: “Dave, he's not coming”

Hossan: “Ah, ignore him. Come on, we got to get this thing ready before we dock. Let’s go”

Niko follows Hossan. Camera is set outside, showing the boat they’re on.

Hossan: “Here, pass me that. There”

Niko gives him his baggage and climbs up the ladder. The two men spot the big city

Hossan: “Whooh, yeah! There she is… Liberty City.”

Niko: “Yeah”

Hossan: “You ever been?”

Niko: “No”

Hossan: “Crazy place, Niko.”

Inside the boat are some people rigging up a car to a platform. Picture is coming to Niko again

Niko: “What you going to do?”

Hossan: “I might come back on board… or I might try to make a go of it. Like they say; it is the land of opportunity. I always wanted to make it big… own a nice place, get a dog, a house… Live the dream!”

Niko: “Like my cousin.”

Hossan: “Oh yeah?”

Niko: “ Yes – he’s got the lot – house, women, cars, parties… he writes me these wild emails, and after I got into trouble I thought maybe uh… and then I got this gig, and I spend the next seven months with you fine people and I forget…”

The picture shows the other crew men again, showing a cook putting diamonds in his baking.

Niko: “After the war finished I couldn’t get a job, nobody could… So I did some dumb things and got involved with some idiots.”

Hossan: “Ahh, we all do dumb things. That’s what makes us human.”

Niko: “Could be.”

The boat docks. A machine lifts the car from the boat and onto the dock. All the people on the boat gets off to the dock, running to their awaiting girlfriends or other family. Everybody, except Niko. A man bumps into Niko.

Niko: “Hey!”

Soon every person has left the dock. Niko is standing there waiting. The camera is filming the road outside the docks, showing a car driving towards the docks at full speed. The car is skidding, narrowly missing a moving platform holding a car. Niko’s smiling, realizing it’s his cousin driving the car

Roman: “Niko! My cousin! I can’t believe it, you’re here!”

Niko: “Hey!”

Roman: “Welcome to America!”

Niko: (In Serbian) “Good to see you, cousin.”

Roman: “What?”

Niko: “Good to see you, man – what, you forgot our language?”

Roman: “Uhhh… cabbages?

Note: when the a word in a sentence in the script is written with both bold and Italic text, like the word cabbages above, it is in a different language; in this case, Serbian.

Roman: “Maybe a little. I’ve been here 10 years! You can speak English. Remember, we learned of the English girls with the big…”

Niko: “Hey, a little… not so good”

Roman: “Ahh, you’ll be fine. Better than my Serbian.”

He grabs Nikos baggage

Roman: “So good to see you, cousin. I can’t believe you made it! Ha! Shit… I have to tell you I had quite a night last night. Two women! The land of opportunity. I’ve made it.”

He puts his baggage into his rear trunk. He opens a bottle of unspecified vodka and drinks it.

Roman: “Shit, man, I’m still a touch drunk.”

He nearly falls over

Niko: “A touch?”

Roman starts to shout out.

Roman: “My cousin is here!”

Some workers look over at the commotion Roman's causing.

Niko: “Woah! Roman, come on. Come on, relax.”

Roman: “We’re going to rule the world!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, buddy.”

Worker 2: “Just take over the world someplace else, alright?”

Worker 1: “Yeah, buddy!”

Worker 2: “You’re in the goddamn way.”

Roman: “Screw you… Screw you all! My cousin is here!”

Niko: “Hey, come on, man!”

Roman: “Niko Bellic! He’s the fucking man, bitches!”

Niko: “Roman, come on, let’s go… to the mansion, eh?“

Roman: “Yes, the mansion! Whoah.”

Roman stumbles.

Roman: “Maybe you should drive…”

Niko: “Maybe I should.”

Roman: “Okay!”

Niko: “Okay. Hey, is this a cab? Where’s the sports car?”

Roman: “Err, it’s in the shop… come on!”

Now it’s the player driving.

Roman: “Drive us to our place on Mohawk, it’s just up the road. I’ll let you know when we’re there.”

Niko: “Why don’t you show me around the city?”

Roman: “Fucking terrorists”

Niko: “What?”

Roman: “Terrorists! There has been a big scare and you can’t go across the bridges so good. You, without a visa. I would stay in Broker. Fuck it, stay in Hove Beach. Everyone like us does.”

The Cousins Bellic drive past Roman's cab depot.

Roman: “That’s my cab depot, cousin. It is where I make all the money. Niko, you ever had two women at once? Four big titties to be playing with? I thought I had died and gone to Heaven, man.”

Niko: “I can’t prove that I have.”

Roman: “Cousin, It’s been too long… You should have come out earlier. Think of all the girls you’ve been missing out on!”

Roman's cab stops outside a mediocre apartment building in Hove Beach.

Niko: “This is the mansion?”

Roman: “Just a temporary place. The mansion is coming, cousin. That’s the dream… Follow me.”

They’re walking in

Roman: “Come in, come in! Make yourself at home… what’s mine is yours!”

Roman runs forward, and stomps on a cockroach

Roman: “Got him! Little bastard. If he paid some rent I wouldn’t care…”

Roman: “Oh… shit… Oh, that’s not nice… Ah, cousin, it’s so good to see you! Yeah!”

Roman jumps onto his bed and lands on another cockroach.

Roman: “Shit.. well, I needed to change anyway. So!”

Niko: “So…”

Roman: “So…”

Niko: “So, you full of crap, or what?”

Roman: “What?”

Niko: “Where’s luxury condo? Where’s sports car? Where’s Barbara with big titties and Stephanie who sucks like a vacuum?”

Roman: “What you talking about?”

Niko: “In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me… all I hear about is Mr. Big, Mr. Roman, living the American dream. Cars, parties, women, money, the beach… opportunity! I come here, and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches!”

Roman: “That’s right, I got the best cockroaches, I got the best dirt!”

Niko: “Screw you, you idiot!”

Roman: “Okay, I’m an idiot, but you must admit I have the best line in bullshit you ever heard.”

Niko: “Yeah, this I know. Asshole.”

Roman: “But here, all I needed was one good guy. One good guy, I could do well. Not take over the world, but do okay. Now, maybe I have this. But what about you? What about you, cousin?”

Niko: “What? What about me?”

Roman: “Well… why you leave home after all this time? First, I hear you’re running with the wrong kind, then I hear you joined the merchant navy, now you’re here. You never tell me anything.”

Niko: “Huh.. No. “

Roman: “What do you mean ‘no’?”

Niko: “No, I never tell you anything. Another time.”

Roman: “Oooh, mystery man… strange and exotic sailor! What happened? Did your captain make you pregnant?”

Niko: “Screw you! No, no, it’s nothing like that. The ships were fine. It was before that, two things. You remember, during the war we did some bad things and bad things happened to us. War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse…

Niko turns over to Roman. He is asleep

Niko: “ “Roman? Roman! Are you sleeping, you fat fuck? Come on!”

Roman: “Huh! No! no way! What’s the time? Shit… I’ve got to get the cab back. It’s on a shift.”

He takes a gulp of his coffee and accidently spits it at Niko.

Roman: “Oh, Jesus! Tastes like a rat shat in it!”

Niko: “Roman?”

Roman:Niko, I’ve got to run, come meet me at the cab office.

Niko: “Jesus… what?”

Roman: “It’s easy. Out the door, turn left, then the first left at the diner,”

Niko: “What are you talking about? I don’t…”

Roman: -go down one block and turn right on Iroquois,

Niko: “I’m new here…”

Roman: -then walk all the way down and we’re right there on the left on the corner of Cisco Street. It’s really flash. We got lots of titties and some incredible motors. Niko. Give me a hug. Good to have you here, cousin… I’ve got something for you.”

His phone is ringing

Roman: “Oh, damn… damn, damn, damn! Yes, Vlad, sorry, forgive me, okay, no… no. Please don’t cut my cock off, eh? Oh, okay, bye… Yes, no, uh, okay.”

Roman has left his apartment