Three's a Crowd/Script

The following is a script of the mission Three's a Crowd in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Script

Roman: Come on Dardan, what's your problem?

Dardan: I don't have problem. You do.

(Bledar smashes Roman's computer)

Roman: Don't be a dick, man... come o...

(Bledar gets Roman in a headlock)

Dardan: Where's your Russian friend now, eh?

Roman: He's not my friend... he's my loan shark...

(Niko walks in)

Niko: Stop this.

Dardan: Who are you?

Niko: Get out of here.

Roman: Niko...

Niko: Yes.

(Niko grabs Dardan's arm and breaks it)

Dardan: Oh, my arm. Oh!

Niko: (to Bledar) And what about you?

(Bledar let's go of Roman and helps Dardan)

Dardan: Help me! Help me!

Niko: Come on, asshole!

Dardan: Bledar! Help me!

Niko: Get out of here now! And if you come back, I'll kill you! You understand?

(Roman picks up Dardan's knife and throws it at them)

Roman: You forgot this, you Albanian pricks!

Roman: Shit, Niko - what did you do?

Niko: He was going to stab me.

Roman: Now he's going to kill you!

Niko: Fuck him.

Roman: Look at this mess. Screwed! Again. You want to know why I'm not living in a nice condo, banging four women? It's because of shit like this. Assholes threatening me.

Niko: Shut up!

(Roman's phone rings)

Roman: Oh great... Mallorie. Hey, beautiful! Huh? Yeah... great. Uh... listen, I'm having a bit of a problem at the office... Umm, I can't do it - Niko can do it...

Niko: Huh? Do what?

Roman: Well why would you want me then? Well screw you, then. Great girl... can you do me a favor? Mallorie needs a lift. Can you go pick her up at the Hove Beach subway station?

Niko: Yeah...

Roman: Take the cab. She's got a friend with her. Maybe someone you can date!

Niko: Fuck you.

Roman: Oh, man, look at this crap. My computer and everything.

Dialogue

(Niko drives to the subway station)

Niko: Get in, ladies.

Mallorie: Hi Niko, thanks for coming. I should have known Roman would find some excuse not to turn up. This is Michelle.

Michelle: Hi. How are you? My place is over on Mohawk Avenue.

or:

Michelle: I live on Rotterdam Hill, up on Mohawk Avenue. You know where that is?

Mallorie: How're you finding American, Niko?

Niko: Not exactly what I expected.

Mallorie: Niko, you know what? You need someone to show you a good time. Michelle, how about you?

Michelle: Mallorie. Stop it!

Mallorie: Come on you guys. You're both single, you're adults. Take her number, Niko.

Michelle: Hey, I'd like to see you again, Niko. You look like that kind of guy I want to get to know.

Mallorie: You look like you just jumped off the boat, Niko. Handsome man like you should get some new threads.

Michelle: I think he looks fine the way he is.

Mallorie: I don't think he even changed out of those things on the journey. How you going to impress a class girl like Michelle?

Michelle: I'm easily impressed.

Mallorie: I know you are, sweetie, and I just don't get it.

(Niko drops the girls off)

Mallorie: Thanks for the lift, Niko.

Michelle: Yeah, thanks. Gimme a call sometime.

Niko: See you soon, Michelle.

(Niko calls Roman)

Niko: Cousin, I dropped the girls off. The friend gave me her number, but I don't think Mallorie likes my clothes so much.

Roman: I know just the place for you, it's on Mohawk in Hove. Go and get something a bit more twenty-first century.

Alternative dialogue

(Niko drives to the subway station)

Niko: Get in, ladies.

Mallorie: He Niko, thanks for coming. I should have known Roman would find some excuse not to turn up. This is Michelle.

Michelle: Hi. How are you? My place is over on Mohawk Avenue.

Niko: I can find it.

Mallorie: You're settling in pretty good, aren't you, Niko? You're staying with Roman, he got you a good job and all he needs to do now is find you a woman... what you think of Michelle here?

Michelle: Come on, Mallorie. This is embarrassing. Are you trying to set us up?

Mallorie: I'm trying to get you two together so Niko will stop taking up all of Roman's time.

Niko: I do not mean to keep Roman away from you.

Mallorie: I know you don't. He just loves you is all. And I think Michelle might too.

Michelle: Come on.

Mallorie: Alright, but you like him, right? You both like each other so why don't you just go on a date? It never hurt anyone. Here's her number, Niko.

Michelle: It sounds like we aren't being given much of a choice on this one.

Niko: No, I guess not.

Michelle: Well, you look like the kind of guy I'd like to get to know, Niko.

Mallorie: He looks like he can't afford to eat. Get yourself some nice clothes. You gotta look good if you're going to date a girl like Michelle.

Michelle: I don't know, I think he looks... interesting... foreign.

(Niko drops the girls off)

Mallorie: Thanks for the lift, Niko.

Michelle: Yeah, thanks. Gimme a call sometime.

Niko: See you soon, Michelle.

(Niko calls Roman)

Niko: Roman, I have taken your Mallorie and her friend where they wanted to go. Michelle gave me her number.

Roman: This is a good first step. The next step is to get some clothes that will impress. I know a good place for you on Mohawk in Hove Beach. Get something a bit more American.

Post mission phone call

Niko: Hey Roman, I got some clothes. It looks like they brought the stuff in from the Old Country though.

Roman: We must take what we get. When the big money rolls in, then we will look real classy. Anyway, you have Michelle. A classy girl for your arm. You should definitely keep dating her.

Other dialogue

Niko leaves the car

Mallorie: I gotta get my nails done, Niko.

Mallorie: Come on, Niko.

Failing the mission

Car is destroyed

Niko: Cousin, the car got screwed. I couldn't get your woman to her place.

Roman: Now I'm really in the doghouse. Thanks a lot, cousin.

Girls are killed

Niko: Cousin, I'm sorry. The girls have some injuries.

Roman: Niko, what am I to do? I need to trust you with some things. It better not be nothing serious.

Mallorie is killed

Michelle: What's wrong with you Niko?

Niko: Roman, I am sorry, but Mallorie... she got hurt.

Roman: Cousin, no. I should have driven her. Shit.

Michelle is killed

Mallorie: My god!

Niko: Cousin, Mallorie's friend, Michelle.. had an accident.

Roman: I hope it wasn't too serious. I thought you two would get on. I will call Mallorie.

Shop assistant is killed

Niko: Hey, Roman. Maybe I shouldn't be trusted to do my own shopping. Me and the shop assistant had a difference in opinion over the pricing.

Roman: Niko, what am I to do? I need to trust you with some things. It better not be nothing serious.