Buyer's Market/Script

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The following is a script of the mission Buyer's Market in The Lost and Damned.


Elizabeta: Hey, hey, Johnny, the big bad biker man.

Johnny: Liz Torres, the meanest bitch in Bohan.

Elizabeta: Come here, sweetie.

(Elizabeta attempts to hug Johnny but he moves back)

Johnny: Shit, I'd let you kiss me, but I'm afraid you'd stick a knife in my back while I was doin' it.

Elizabeta: You wouldn't be the first man I'd tried that trick on, sweetie.

Johnny: Yeah I heard the stories. Listen I also heard you got somebody for that brown?

Elizabeta: Maybe. There's an apartment on Cassidy Street in Shottler. You go upstairs and talk to Charlie on the third floor.

Johnny: There any heat?

Elizabeta: When isn't there? I've got a new guy going along with you. He's from Eastern Europe somewheres. If the heat's coming from Charlie, use this Slavic motherfucker to help. But if it's him. You know what you gotta do.

Johnny: Well either way it ain't coming back to you, Liz.

Elizabeta: Ah, you know Playboy? He's going along, too. Hey Playboy!

Playboy X: Yo, chill for a second yo.

Johnny: Nah, not really.

Elizabeta: Don't you wanna dance?

Johnny: Nah, I'll just sit right here and wait for your boy.

(Johnny walks over and sits on Elizabeta's couch. Time passes and Niko has already arrived)

Elizabeta: Surround yourself with cocaine and the assholes soon follow.

Elizabeta: Hey, Johnny!

Johnny: Yo!

Elizabeta: Come over here. Come here.

Johnny: Yeah!

Elizabeta: Niko, this is Johnny. Now, Johnny is sitting on a big pile of heroin. I don't go near the stuff... professionally... but I found him a buyer. We're nervous. Will you oversee the deal and check everything is cool?

Niko: Sure.

Elizabeta: Thank you.

Johnny: Well, I got to go pick up the stuff so, uh, I'll see you there.

Elizabeta: A'ight.


(Johnny leaves and meet with Brian)

Johnny: Gimmie that shit man. We got a buyer.

Brian: I don't know why Billy got you to handle this and not me. I mean what's up with that, eh? I guess you Semites are good at sniffing out a deal, ain't that right Johnny?

Johnny: He didn't get you because Liz Torres, and any other two bit hustler on the street would take you for the little pussy that you are and rob you blind. Now gimmie that shit. See you around big guy.

(Johnny gets the heroin on goes to the apartment and waits for Niko and Playboy X)

Playboy X: Buyer is some Asian dude called Charlie.

Niko: Like in Vietnam?

Playboy X: Just like the movies, money.

(Playboy and Niko meet with Johnny)

Playboy X: Yo.

Niko: Hey man.

Niko: Hey, you ready?

Johnny: Sure, let's do this. Nothing like selling some dope to let you know you're alive.

Niko: Let's go.

Playboy X: Yeah, let's do this.

Johnny: Alright, c'mon.

Charlie: Hey... what's going on guys, whats going on?

Johnny: Not much. Let's do this.

Charlie: You've got the heroin? Right? Right?

Johnny: Come on, let's do this, quickly.

Charlie: But you've got the heroin, correct? You're carrying it, correct? I mean it's a simple question.

Johnny: What's wrong with you? You're being fucking weird.

Charlie: Not weird, man, I just wanna know if you're carrying the stuff right?

Johnny: You ain't right, friend, come on... let's get out of here.

Charlie: LCPD. Freeze motherfucker. I said freeze.

Johnny: Split up. You head for the roof, I'll go down! Fuck 'em all!


Johnny: Get the fuck outta here. I'll go down, you go up. Good luck.

Johnny: Time to part company. You head up and I'll go down.

(Johnny begins to hear downstairs as Playboy X and Niko go upstairs)

Playboy X: Yo, money. We going up.

Niko: Fuck you!

Niko: Screw you!

Niko: Fuck off!

(Johnny flees the apartment and escapes the police)

Failing the mission

Brian dies

Billy: Oh Johnny. What have you got to tell me?

Johnny: I got good news and I got bad news. The bad news is we've lost a brother. The good news is it's Brian.

Billy: I don't appreciate you making light of this, Jonathon. Come back to see me.

Playboy X and Niko attacked

Billy: Jonathan?

Johnny: William. Things went bad. I couldn't offload that borrowed stuff of yours. Maybe you should give it back to the Deadbeats.

Billy: Maybe I should stick to making those calls, because maybe I'm the boss. Come see me.


Post mission phone calls


Billy: So Johnny, are we rich?

Johnny: No Billy, we're not. What we are is under observation by some kind of LCPD task force. The buyer was a pig.

Billy: Hell Johnny, that's not kosher. I'll call you when another buyer's lined up.

Johnny: Sounds good.

Billy: We are moving up in the world, Johnny. There's a Congressman, needs your help, Tom Stubbs III. I told you keep that lawyer around would have its uses. This guy's at one of them dumb ass gentlemen's clubs in Algonquin - the kind without tits - The Jousters.

Johnny: Politicians and lawyers? What are we becoming, man? Next thing you're gonna tell me we're doing some shit kicking for the LCPD.

Billy: It's just opposite that Libertonian. Go pay him a visit, if you're still thinking about your brothers and not just your own ego, that is.


Johnny: Liz Torres.

Elizabeta: It was good to see you, Johnny.

Johnny: Yeah, only problem was your friend the UC. He nearly blew my ass off.

Elizabeta: Ha ha, ha ha.

Johnny: How's your fancy European friend working out?

Elizabeta: Okay, okay. Seems like maybe he's the only guy in this city not working for the state.

Johnny: Him and The Lost MC. Me and the brothers are tight.

Elizabeta: I hope so for you sake Johnny, you know. Ha ha. See you soon, baby.

Unknown caller

Johnny: Hello.

Agent Jones: Johnny Klebitz?

Johnny: Yeah. Who is this?

Agent Jones: You tried to offload some smack to a colleague of mine called Charlie. Costly mistake.

Johnny: Who the fuck is this?

Agent Jones: Agent Jones - FIB. We'd like you to come in for a talk. Things might be easier for you if you give us some information on your motorcycle club.

Johnny: Fuck you, Fed. This conversation's over. If you got any evidence on me, get a warrant.