Chatterbox FM/Script - Revision history

Mike4721 at 21:51, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:51:47Z

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	'''Fernando: '''''I am...I am Latin.''		'''Fernando: '''''I am...I am Latin.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Heh, Latin is a big place there buddy. Eh, where in Latin?''		'''Lazlow: '''''Heh, Latin is a big place there buddy. Eh, where in "Latin"?''

	'''Fernando: '''''I do not need to listen to these insults! I have pride, I have a calling! Many are called, but few are chosen, my friend. And I was called, and chosen, to work a miracle!!"		'''Fernando: '''''I do not need to listen to these insults! I have pride, I have a calling! Many are called, but few are chosen, my friend. And I was called, and chosen, to work a miracle!!"

Mike4721 at 21:51, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:51:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:51, 15 May 2019
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	'''Lazlow: '''''Get outta here!!!''		'''Lazlow: '''''Get outta here!!!''

	'''Fernando: '''''It is a miracle!!!''		'''Fernando: '''''It's a miracle!!!''

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Mike4721 at 21:46, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:46:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:46, 15 May 2019
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	'''Lazlow: '''''Hello caller. You're on Chatterbox!''		'''Lazlow: '''''Hello caller. You're on Chatterbox!''

	'''Caller: '''''Yeah, hi, I love the show, love hearing people's opinions,		'''Caller: '''''Yeah, hi, I love the show, love hearing people's opinions, that's what made this country great. People. And opinions. And stuff. Most of all, guns. I've had it with people whining about "guns kill people", guns don't kill people, death kills people! Ask a doctor, it's a medical fact - you can't die from a bullet. You can die from a cardiac arrest or organ failure or a major hemorrhage, small piece of metal ain't the problem. Besides, I only use my machine-gun in the safety of my own home and car. I ain't hurting nobody. And countries that don't have guns ain't American.''
	that's what made this country great. People. And opinions. And stuff. Most of all, guns. I've had it with people whining about "guns kill people", guns don't kill people, death kills people! Ask a doctor, it's a medical fact - you can't die from a bullet. You can die from a cardiac arrest or organ failure or a major hemorrhage, small piece of metal ain't the problem. Besides, I only use my machine-gun in the safety of my own home and car. I ain't hurting nobody. And countries that don't have guns ain't American.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Y-you know that's a really good point. Countries that don't have guns aren't American. You know, if more people had guns, we'd have less shootings in this country.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Y-you know that's a really good point. Countries that don't have guns aren't American. You know, if more people had guns, we'd have less shootings in this country.''

Mike4721 at 21:45, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:45:51Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:45, 15 May 2019
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	'''Caller: '''''I was listening to that caller about taxes. His views are a little extreme. How do you expect to be a responsible member of society if you don't understand how the government spends your money? Why are people afraid of numbers? Sine and Cosine are two of the elegant incredible discoveries of humanity. I mean, the Cartesian co-ordinate system has an elemental power I find invigorating and even sexy. And I'm not ashamed to say it.''		'''Caller: '''''I was listening to that caller about taxes. His views are a little extreme. How do you expect to be a responsible member of society if you don't understand how the government spends your money? Why are people afraid of numbers? Sine and Cosine are two of the elegant incredible discoveries of humanity. I mean, the Cartesian co-ordinate system has an elemental power I find invigorating and even sexy. And I'm not ashamed to say it.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Okay, thanks for calling. Now that we've lost 98% of our		'''Lazlow: '''''Okay, thanks for calling. Now that we've lost 98% of our audience let's reward the other 2% with a commercial. When we come back we'll have a special studio guest, special because he advertises on this radio-station. Remember, it's not a conflict of interests if we own all the radio-stations in town. We'll be right back after this message.''
	audience let's reward the other 2% with a commercial. When we come back we'll have a special studio guest, special because he advertises on this radio-station. Remember, it's not a conflict of interests if we own all the radio-stations in town. We'll be right back after this message.''

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Mike4721 at 21:44, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:44:31Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:44, 15 May 2019
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	'''Lazlow: '''''Erm... I get a sexual harassment suit.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Erm... I get a sexual harassment suit.''

	'''Fernando: '''''If you are lucky, my friend! But you, more likely, your marriage is ruined, Lazlow. Your sweetheart - she hates you. Your pretty secretary - she wants you to be her man. You back here to square one. My friend, you, and a thousand men like you, for me, once it was so, but then one day, I was driving my car, and I realize: "Fernando, you are blessed!". You are a miracle! A thousand miracles rolled into one! You save the marriage, and, you save the man! You don't put the marriage first, and you don't put the man first! Maybe, we call it "Man Marriage"... Then I think to myself: "No... this is a bad name! It sounds really dumb." Then I think, we call it "Fernando's New		'''Fernando: '''''If you are lucky, my friend! But you, more likely, your marriage is ruined, Lazlow. Your sweetheart - she hates you. Your pretty secretary - she wants you to be her man. You back here to square one. My friend, you, and a thousand men like you, for me, once it was so, but then one day, I was driving my car, and I realize: "Fernando, you are blessed!". You are a miracle! A thousand miracles rolled into one! You save the marriage, and, you save the man! You don't put the marriage first, and you don't put the man first! Maybe, we call it "Man Marriage"... Then I think to myself: "No... this is a bad name! It sounds really dumb." Then I think, we call it "Fernando's New Beginnings." Because that is... what it is. A new beginning, Lazlow.''
	Beginnings." Because that is... what it is. A new beginning, Lazlow.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''So, how does this work?''		'''Lazlow: '''''So, how does this work?''
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	'''Janice: '''''No, he's an idiot! And a jerk!''		'''Janice: '''''No, he's an idiot! And a jerk!''

	'''Fernando: '''''But he's probably a good daddy, and you sound very pretty! Angry, and a little bit of a know-it-all, but very pretty lady! This is the thing, Lazlow. The women, they think "The New		'''Fernando: '''''But he's probably a good daddy, and you sound very pretty! Angry, and a little bit of a know-it-all, but very pretty lady! This is the thing, Lazlow. The women, they think "The New Beginnings" is only for men! But no, it is for women too! For Janice, if her husband goes to "New Beginnings", she thinks sénor wonderful, all over again. And, in the extreme case, maybe she come to work for me! And she get a new beginning herself! She discover the excitement and the passion all for herself! Listen, Janice, you call me... cinco-cinco-cinco-nueve dos-nueve-dos''
	Beginnings" is only for men! But no, it is for women too! For Janice, if her husband goes to "New Beginnings", she thinks sénor wonderful, all over again. And, in the extreme case, maybe she come to work for me! And she get a new beginning herself! She discover the excitement and the passion all for herself! Listen, Janice, you call me... cinco-cinco-cinco-nueve dos-nueve-dos''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Eh-heh... now listen... don't try to pimp-out my listeners!"		'''Lazlow: '''''Eh-heh... now listen... don't try to pimp-out my listeners!"

Mike4721 at 21:41, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:41:16Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:41, 15 May 2019
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	'''Caller: '''''Hello Lazlow, I'm a first time caller. I recently moved to Liberty City from Hampshire, in England.''		'''Caller: '''''Hello Lazlow, I'm a first time caller. I recently moved to Liberty City from Hampshire, in England.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Oh really? How do you like it? I mean, is it hard to get used to the language? Y-you speak English pretty good.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Oh, really? How do you like it? I mean, is it hard to get used to the language? Y-you speak English pretty good.''

	'''Caller: '''''Oh thank you Lazlow. Yes, yes I do like it here. There's one thing though that's very different and rather worrying. When I was a boy in England, I had a nanny. She was very strict, Lazlow.''		'''Caller: '''''Oh, thank you Lazlow. Yes, yes, I do like it here. There's one thing, though, that's very different and rather worrying. When I was a boy in England, I had a nanny. She was very strict, Lazlow.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Yeah, well, I mean there's excellent child-care here in America, eeerr...you know?''		'''Lazlow: '''''Yeah, well, I mean there's excellent child-care here in America, eeerr...you know?''

	'''Caller: '''''Well, well I'm sure. But, but the thing is Lazlow, when, when, when I was a naughty boy, I, I, I...I would get spanked. N...nanny...nanny would spank me...when I was naughty, and now...now Freddie needs a nanny, because when ~~Freddy~~'s naughty, he needs to get spanked.''		'''Caller: '''''Well, well I'm sure. But, but the thing is, Lazlow, when, when, when I was a naughty boy, I, I, I...I would get spanked. N...nanny...nanny would spank me...when I was naughty, and now...now Freddie needs a nanny, because when Freddie's naughty, he needs to get spanked.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Well, there's some child psychologists, who'd probably say that spanking can be harmful to a child's emotional development.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Well, there's some child psychologists, who'd probably say that spanking can be harmful to a child's emotional development.''

	'''Caller: '''''Ab..ab...absolute rot, Lazlow. It's lovely. Freddie needs a nanny. He needs a nanny Lazlow, because ~~Freddy~~'s been a very naughty boy.''		'''Caller: '''''Ab..ab...absolute rot, Lazlow. It's lovely. Freddie needs a nanny. He needs a nanny Lazlow, because Freddie's been a very naughty boy.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''How...how old is your son?''		'''Lazlow: '''''How... how old is your son?''

	'''Caller: '''''Excuse me?''		'''Caller: '''''Excuse me?''

	'''Lazlow: '''''How old is your son?''		'''Lazlow: '''''How old is your son??''

	'''Caller: '''''I don't have children! I can't stand the little brats! But Freddie needs a na...''		'''Caller: '''''I don't have children! I can't stand the little brats!! But Freddie needs a na...''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, that's enough of him! God, who gave this guy a green card?!''		'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, that's enough of him! God, who gave this guy a green card??!''

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Mike4721 at 21:36, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:36:38Z

Mike4721 at 21:32, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T21:32:01Z

What changes will this make?

Mike4721 at 19:59, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T19:59:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:59, 15 May 2019
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			'''9. Gun caller: '''

			'''Lazlow: '''''Hello caller. You're on Chatterbox!''

			'''Caller: '''''Yeah, hi, I love the show, love hearing people's opinions,
			that's what made this country great. People. And opinions. And stuff. Most of all, guns. I've had it with people whining about "guns kill people", guns don't kill people, death kills people! Ask a doctor, it's a medical fact - you can't die from a bullet. You can die from a cardiac arrest or organ failure or a major hemorrhage, small piece of metal ain't the problem. Besides, I only use my machine-gun in the safety of my own home and car. I ain't hurting nobody. And countries that don't have guns ain't American.''

			'''Lazlow: '''''Y-you know that's a really good point. Countries that don't have guns aren't American. You know, if more people had guns, we'd have less shootings in this country.''

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Mike4721 at 19:51, 15 May 2019

2019-05-15T19:51:11Z

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 ----
-*Dormatron commercial
+*[[Dormatron]] commercial
-*Maibatsu Monstrosity commercial
+*[[Maibatsu Monstrosity]] commercial
 ----
@@ Line 52: / Line 52: @@
 '''Lazlow: '''''Okay, here's the deal - this isn't gardening with Maurice, that's on later!''
-'''Caller: '''''Nooo! He got taken off the air! He lied, I know he did! I've been trying to make a hybrid of a peach and a Pekingese midget fighting bitch for the last two years! And it is impossible...Impossible, I tell ya.''
+'''Caller: '''''Nooo! He got taken off the air! He lied, I know he did! I've been trying to make a hybrid of a peach and a Pekingese midget fighting bitch for the last two years! And it is impossible... impossible, I tell ya.''
 ----
@@ Line 108: / Line 108: @@
 *[[Equanox]] commercial
 *[[Liberty City Survivor]] commercial
 [[Category:Scripts]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:36, 15 May 2019
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	'''11. Freddie ~~that~~ needs a nanny: '''		'''11. "Freddie needs a nanny": '''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, hello, you are on Chatterbox.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, hello, you are on Chatterbox.''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''Hello Lazlow, I'm a first time caller. I recently moved to Liberty City from Hampshire, in England.''		'''Caller: '''''Hello Lazlow, I'm a first time caller. I recently moved to Liberty City from Hampshire, in England.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Oh really? How do you like it? I mean, is it hard to get used to the language? Y-you speak English pretty good.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Oh really? How do you like it? I mean, is it hard to get used to the language? Y-you speak English pretty good.''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''Oh thank you Lazlow. Yes, yes I do like it here. There's one thing though that's very different and rather worrying. When I was a boy in England, I had a nanny. She was very strict, Lazlow.''		'''Caller: '''''Oh thank you Lazlow. Yes, yes I do like it here. There's one thing though that's very different and rather worrying. When I was a boy in England, I had a nanny. She was very strict, Lazlow.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Yeah, well, I mean there's excellent child-care here in America, eeerr...you know?''		'''Lazlow: '''''Yeah, well, I mean there's excellent child-care here in America, eeerr...you know?''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''Well, well I'm sure. But, but the thing is Lazlow, when, when, when I was a naughty boy, I, I, I...I would get spanked. N...nanny...nanny would spank me...when I was naughty, and now...now Freddie needs a nanny, because when Freddy's naughty, he needs to get spanked.''		'''Caller: '''''Well, well I'm sure. But, but the thing is Lazlow, when, when, when I was a naughty boy, I, I, I...I would get spanked. N...nanny...nanny would spank me...when I was naughty, and now...now Freddie needs a nanny, because when Freddy's naughty, he needs to get spanked.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Well, there's some child psychologists, who'd probably say that spanking can be harmful to a child's emotional development.''		'''Lazlow: '''''Well, there's some child psychologists, who'd probably say that spanking can be harmful to a child's emotional development.''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''Ab..ab...absolute rot, Lazlow. It's lovely. Freddie needs a nanny. He needs a nanny Lazlow, because Freddy's been a very naughty boy.''		'''Caller: '''''Ab..ab...absolute rot, Lazlow. It's lovely. Freddie needs a nanny. He needs a nanny Lazlow, because Freddy's been a very naughty boy.''

	'''Lazlow: '''''How...how old is your son?''		'''Lazlow: '''''How...how old is your son?''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''Excuse me?''		'''Caller: '''''Excuse me?''

	'''Lazlow: '''''How old is your son?''		'''Lazlow: '''''How old is your son?''

	'''~~Freddie~~: '''''I don't have children! I can't stand the little brats! But Freddie needs a na...''		'''Caller: '''''I don't have children! I can't stand the little brats! But Freddie needs a na...''

	'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, that's enough of him! God, who gave this guy a green card?''		'''Lazlow: '''''Alright, that's enough of him! God, who gave this guy a green card?!''

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