The following is a script of the mission [[Easy Fare]] in Grand Theft Auto IV. '''Vlad''': Come on hottie, forget about the fat serf. '''Mallorie''': Vlad! Shut up! '''Vlad''': But he's a serf, and you're a countess. Talking about serfs... '''Mallorie''': Oh, hey Niko. '''Niko''': Where's Roman? '''Mallorie''': Huh. Good question. '''Vlad''': Hey, yokel. Your dumb cousin isn't here. Go get me a coffee. '''Niko''': What? '''Vlad''': Get me a fucking coffee! Come on... I'll get you one. What? You keep staring at me, I'll burst one of your eyeballs. Gorgeous, this guy's a fucking creep! '''Mallorie''': Give him a break. He's new in the country. '''Vlad''': I can see that. Did you walk here from nineteen eighty five? '''Niko''': Yeah. '''Vlad''': Excellent! Now stop fucking staring at me. I mean, I know I'm good looking and everything, but come on. (''Roman walks in'') '''Roman''': Aah, hey, Mallorie. Hey man! '''Niko''': Hey '''Mallorie''': Huh. About time. '''Roman''': Vlad... Vladdy boy... what's going on? '''Vlad''': Roman! Roman boy... you tell me what's going on. '''Roman''': Nice aftershave! What is that? "Sex Pest"? '''Vlad''': No, it's "Where Is My Fucking Money"? '''Roman''': I had it, I had some of it... then those Albanians you said you would deal with came and smashed my computer. '''Vlad''': So it's my fault? '''Roman''': I didn't say that... '''Vlad''': Good. '''Roman''': Anyway, Niko dealt with them... broke Dardan's arm, then beat up a couple more. Then we teach them a real lesson. '''Vlad''': Is that so? I'll tell you what... while you don't pay, maybe you and Niko can do me few favors. '''Roman''': Sure. '''Vlad''': Good '''Roman''': Why not? '''Mallorie''': Later, Vlad. '''Roman''': What? '''Mallorie''': The phone's ringing. (''Roman answers the phone'') '''Roman''': Hey? Yeah... okay... no, I can't do it: my cousin will do it. Yes he can drive. No, he's not a cop. His name is Niko. He'll be right over. Niko, sorry to ask, cousin... can you go pick up Jermaine, one of my regulars? He's over on Rotterdam Hill on Mohawk Avenue. '''Niko''': Whatever. (''Niko leaves'') '''Roman''': What was this all about? '''Mallorie''': Niko came in looking for you and Vlad told him to get him a fucking coffee and Niko didn't want to. '''Roman''': Coffee? What was he thinking? '''Mallorie''': I know.
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