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Tony Smith: Difference between revisions

4,039 bytes added ,  29 December 2009
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Whatever the reason, this reporter is going to be driving home drunk, as he certainly can't afford a cab.
Whatever the reason, this reporter is going to be driving home drunk, as he certainly can't afford a cab.
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===You're To Blame===
Bank of Liberty gets tough on identity theft
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|"Remember, identity theft is ALWAYS your fault," reads Bank of Liberty's new website. Is it not enough that 8-year-olds are hacking into our online accounts and stealing our life savings? Is it not enough that meth addicts are rooting through our trash and piecing back together our shredded documents? Is it not enough that lap dancers can no longer be trusted with our credit cards? Now the banks are turning their backs on us as well? "We're simply going to ignore it from now on," said a spokesperson for Bank of Liberty, "I refuse for my bonus to be cut because some moron posted personal details all over their MyRoom page or wired their kid's college fund to a Nigerian con-artist. We're the ones getting scammed."
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===Mobile Meth Lab Discovered===
Does This Indicate Epidemic?
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|Police say after an anonymous tip from an elderly resident in the Steinway section of the city that law enforcement officers discovered three suspects in a portable methamphetamine lab. Liberty City Police, N.O.O.S.E agents and Bureau of Narcotics officials did not release the names of the suspects but indicated meth is a serious problem in Liberty City. "Meth has destroyed the lives and businesses of cocaine dealers in Vice City, and we see the same happening here," said agent Albert Thomas. Thomas would not indicate what made the elderly resident call in the tip but said that the woman smelled like an old person and reminded him of when his grandmother showed him her junk.
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===Crime Up, No One to Blame===
Police not pointing fingers
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|Liberty City's Police Commissioner for Public Affairs, Tom Pireni, responded yesterday to the recent explosion in violent crime by laying the blame squarely at the feet of those who try to stop the police from doing their job better: the general public. He commented that, "The police don't get the respect they deserve and, quite frankly, never have. We do a very dangerous job, and have a lot of quotas to fill. To blame police priorities for rising crime is patently absurd. When arresting jay walkers or protecting film sets around the city, our officers are more than willing to get involved in any violent incidents that occur. The fact is that stopping violent crime does not put any money into this city's coffers, whereas annoying motorists is very lucrative and ensures our pensions remain intact."
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===Seized Mobile Meth Lab Now Run by Cops===
Meth-od Policing?
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|In an effort to understand the growing meth threat to Liberty City, local narcotics agents have taken the mobile meth lab seized in the Steinway section and have it up and operational for educational purposes only. Agent Albert Thomas told reporters that law enforcement will not fully understand the threat they face unless they replicate the process of making and smoking the drug.
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===Biker Gang Chaos===
The Lost cause more problems
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|There's a war going on right here on our doorsteps. Everyone thinks that members of motorcycle gangs are friendly bearded rebels who want to take you for a ride. But there's more to that beard than meets the eye.
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Recently, Billy Grey, leader of the Alderney chapter of The Lost biker gang, was released from a rehabilitation center. Members of the community were shocked that Mr. Grey got off with such a light sentence after his crimes and that he is now back on the street. During his period inside, biker crime in Liberty City had dwindled to almost nothing. However, in recent days, new skirmishes have broken out making police think that old scores are being settled. Reports have come in of shootouts and bike chases through the metropolitan area. The bodies of several suspected members of both The Lost and their arch rivals the Angels of Death have been recovered.
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===Dog Meat Has His Day in Court===
===Dog Meat Has His Day in Court===
Making a meal of justice?
Making a meal of justice?
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|Vito "Dog Meat" Menotti stood in front of a judge at the Civic Citadel today in order to give evidence against his fellow mobsters. Menotti, having admitted to a series of murders here in Liberty City in the early 90s, has accepted a plea deal from the DA. This will allow him to gain a new identity in the witness relocation program in some horrible town in a desert state, providing his testimony leads to the conviction of his criminal cohorts. Mr. Menotti, a long-time senior-ranking member of Pavano crime family, gained his moniker from his ownership of a dog food processing plant. Menotti now admits that this gruesome plant was a good means of laundering money and disposing of the unfortunate victims of his mob hits.
|Vito "Dog Meat" Menotti stood in front of a judge at the Civic Citadel today in order to give evidence against his fellow mobsters. Menotti, having admitted to a series of murders here in Liberty City in the early 90s, has accepted a plea deal from the DA. This will allow him to gain a new identity in the witness relocation program in some horrible town in a desert state, providing his testimony leads to the conviction of his criminal cohorts. Mr. Menotti, a long-time senior-ranking member of Pavano crime family, gained his moniker from his ownership of a dog food processing plant. Menotti now admits that this gruesome plant was a good means of laundering money and disposing of the unfortunate victims of his mob hits.
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