Body Harvest/Script

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< Body Harvest
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The following is a script of the Body Harvest mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.


Carl Johnson: Hello? Hello, somebody in there?

Frank Tenpenny: In here.

Carl Johnson: Check this shit out. What do we have here?

Frank Tenpenny: Yo, Carl! What up, kid?

Carl Johnson: Hey, what's happening? Oh, is this undercover training? Oh no, you must be off duty.

Frank Tenpenny: Yeah, yeah, whatever, hush up man. Mr. Truth here is going to be supplying you with some of the finest... weed, and you are going to deliver it for us.

Carl Johnson: Hey, man, you losing it, you hallucinating and shit.

Frank Tenpenny: Whuh? Oh - Yo, Truth, come here, man.

(The Truth enters)

The Truth: Welcome friend.

Carl Johnson: Wassup?

Frank Tenpenny: Carl here is going to be paying you your money.

Carl Johnson: What you talking about?

Frank Tenpenny: Now, Carl, I got a real do gooder fucking with me, and I want you to take this evil green poison, and drop it on him. It's going to ruin that asshole's career.

Carl Johnson: Oh bullshit.

The Truth: Dudes, you want mushrooms? Ludes? How about some DMT?

Frank Tenpenny: No, not for me, man. I gotta jet. Oh, shit... I'm fucked up. Yo, Carl, pay the man.

(Tenpenny exits)

The Truth: Whoa man! I never thought I'd see that. A fed out-smoking me. What are you, dude? FBI? DEA?

Carl Johnson: No, I'm more like a private investigator.

The Truth: Friend, you give off a positive energy. How about some Vietnamese opium?

Carl Johnson: Nah, I don't get down with that.

The Truth: But how do I know I can trust you then?

Carl Johnson: What, I'm working for you now?

The Truth: I'm a man of peace but some squares across that ridge are not respecting my peace. I mean survivalist maniacs. Right wingers. Fascists! They have a harvester and I need one. Get it, and then you can pay me. Amaste, Carl.

Carl Johnson: The fuck that mean? Later, freak.

(Carl arrives at The Farm, and starts to make his way at the back of the farm)

Survivalist #1: You come to the wrong farm, boy.

Survivalist #2: Beat him down, it's all he's good for!

Survivalist #3: Hey, who is this guy?

Survivalist #4: Dunno but he looks kinda shifty!

Survivalist #5: Roll him in some pig shit!

(Carl approaches the combine harvester)

Combine harvester driver: He's a combine rustler!! That son of a bitch is stealin' Betsy!

Survivalist #7: Stop that dang varmint!

(Carl arrives at The Truth's farm in Leafy Hollow)

The Truth: Man, you've brought peace back to my valley, thank you, friend. I'll call you when the whoop-de-doo is ready, just make sure you get that cash.

(Phone rings, Carl answers)

Carl Johnson: Eh.

Cesar Vialpando: Carl, it's Cesar.

Carl Johnson: Whassup?

Cesar Vialpando: Bad stinking shit, that's wassup, holmes.

Carl Johnson: What's wrong, where's Kendl, is she OK?

Cesar Vialpando: She's with me, she's OK for now. The Varrios Los Aztecas; it's all over. There's a price on my head, maybe Kendl's too.

Carl Johnson: What happened?

Cesar Vialpando: Trust, respect, honor; they don't mean jack in Los Santos now. My OG's, my eses, all dead or in hiding, eh.

Carl Johnson: Get out of town. Head over to Angel Pine, rent you and Kendl a trailer and I'll meet you there.

Cesar Vialpando: OK, I just got some shit to take care of and...

Carl Johnson: No! Just get my sister out of town and someplace safe! Don't shit with me on this one, I can't lose her, man!

Cesar Vialpando: Sure thing, holmes. We'll see you in Angel Pine.