Harridan of the Seine

From Grand Theft Wiki
Revision as of 23:17, 27 March 2014 by A-Dust (talk | contribs) (→‎Classicvinewood.com's description)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Harridan of the Seine is a film in the HD Universe by producer Sam Austin in 1933. The film is five hours long.


The films features silent film actress Miriam Turner as Connie Lavell who marries Bernard before moving to Paris, France with him. She later becomes a slave to Bernard's mother, Huguette, with only a handsome aristocrat fleetingly revealing himself from across the river to comfort her. One day she manages to escape by stabbing a passed out Bernard and pushing Huguette off a bridge. She sings a mournful song before being run over by a trolley.


Classicvinewood.com's description

There was a magical time when women came with a dowry (money and land!) instead of just showing up and taking half of everything you own. Half! It's why things were so much better during the classic age of film. Such is the story in Harridan of the Seine. A classic Sam Austin faux-Dickensian melodrama and an award-winning performance by Miriam Turner, cast in a perfect role for the wistful, dreamy facial expressions she's overwrought to such great effect in the silent movies of the 1920s. Turner plays the beautiful but naive Connie Lavell, a middle-class girl who, like all dumb skirts, falls for a foreigner. After begging her father to pay a dowry of $100, she marries Bernard and moves to Paris, only to discover that the silver-tongued bastard is selling her into slavery. Far from the charmeing sophisticate she met in New York, Bernard is a rat-catcher who lives in the slums with his malicious crone of a mother, Huguette. Huguette sets about making Connie's every waking momnet a living hell, forcing her to eat out of chamber pots and massage her calloused feet. Her only solace comes at 6pm each day when a handsome aristocrat walks by on the other side of the river and fleetingly reveals himself to her. There appears to be no escape from Connie's squalid, demeaning existence until one day when a drunken Bernard is passed out cold she stabs him in the neck, pushes his mother off the edge of a bridge and then sings a mournful lament as a trolley runs her over. They don't make them like this anymore!

Classicvinewood.com's comments

  • reeltalker (0/10): Five hours of my life I'll never get back.
  • ferncritter (2/10): Once again women portrayed as either vicious witches or helpless bimbos. Why celebrate this misogynistic trash?
  • gravyluva (6/10): What I'd give to spill one on Miriam Turner's heaving breasts.
  • milkfox (8/10): Sam Austin is a legend. He was the original Jew in the entertainment industry. That dude built Vinewood.
  • gobblenuttz (2/10): Would have been better as a silent movie.
  • doddlejenn (4/10): Sam Austin never paid any of his actors a dime! He's half the reason the unions became such assholes.
  • milkfox (8/10): Just so we're clear, I don't usually hate Jews. Some of them are really cool. I don't like blacks, though, which is why I don't like sports.
  • goldenpaige (7/10): Turner is the epitome of beauty, grace and class. They don't make them like that any more.
  • slatherick (2/10): Get real. Miriam Turner was a violent drunk who once stabbed her assistant with a pen.
  • milkfox (8/10): Miriam Turner hated blacks, too.