Hating the Haters/Script

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The following are dialog and mission scripts as seen during "Hating the Haters" in Grand Theft Auto IV.


Niko Bellic: Florian, open the door. Don't be a fag.

Bernie Crane: Speak English. And I told you, it's Bernie.

Niko Bellic: Then Bernie, open the door. What's going on?

Bernie Crane: Come in, come in. The haters are trying to kill me... I can't stand it. I won't stand it... it's not fair. I'm just being me!

Niko Bellic: Bernie! What are you talking about?

Bernie Crane: I came to this country to be myself... to get away from small minded, angry macho pricks...

Niko Bellic: Oh, like me?

Bernie Crane: Yes! Well, no. Well you know what I mean. It was hardly the most progressive place. How does my hair look?

Niko Bellic: Fine.

Bernie Crane: I put a rinse in. Tawdry Night.

Niko Bellic: Nice.

Bernie Crane: Bryce found some gray hairs. If he leaves me, I'll kill myself.

Niko Bellic: Forget about your hair, Florian.

Bernie Crane: Bernie!

Niko Bellic: I mean Bernie. What's the problem?

Bernie Crane: Someone is threatening to kill me. Every time I go out jogging, and doing aerobics or playing ultimate disc, some guy comes up and threatens me. He's loco!

Niko Bellic: Why is he threatening you?

Bernie Crane: Because... I think just because I'm fabulous.

Niko Bellic: What?

Bernie Crane: I keep thinking I'm being followed, and I don't know why. I'm a prisoner in my own home.

Niko Bellic: Okay, Bernie, let's go out and have a look.

Bernie Crane: Ooo! I am so glad you've come back into my life.

Niko Bellic: That's cool. But listen... you and I don't know each other.

Bernie Crane: How can you say that? I thought you were different!

Niko Bellic: Because we want this guy to attack you. Come on.

Bernie Crane: Oh!