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This Ain't Checkers

This Ain't Checkers is a mission in the episodic content The Ballad of Gay Tony, given to the player by Mori Kibbutz.



Mori explains to Luis that they must go to the Algonquin heliport to get onboard a helicopter. The two jump in Mori's Buffalo. Along the way Mori says that this thing is for 'high roller cats' only. Once arrived, they are greeted by 2 fellow competitors. The helicopter lifts up everyone to South Algonquin where the player must parachute down to their boat.

When done so, Luis must guide the boat through a series of checkpoints until he's guided to land to select a car, each equipped with nitro. The player then must skillfully use the nitro to take them across town to Middle Park. The cutscene ends with Mori making up excuses for why he lost, such as the fact someone 'sabotaged his car'.

Tips & Tricks

  • When freefalling, make sure that you only release the parachute when you're in 1st place. This will instantly secure the "Always First" scoring mark - however keep in mind that you must keep 1st place the whole time though too.
  • If you have mastered the art of parachuting then land in a boat, this will greatly speed up the process and will secure the "Land in a boat" scoring mark which will contribute to a mission mark of 100%. If you're not so good then try your best to land nearest to a boat. Note, however, that if Luis lands too hard on the boat (or on the dock), he will take damage which will fail another of the 100% requirements.
  • After you use a part of the nitro, it will regenerate in some time. The nitro will be usable again when the exhaust fumes go a light purple color.

Video Walkthrough


Secondary objectives

Objective Description Target score
Time Time taken to complete the mission. 0:07:35
Player damage Damage attained by the player. 0%
Land in boat Land in one the boats after freefalling. -
Always first Was always in first for the duration of the race. -


  • Mori's unique red Buffalo is in the race. Luis can optionally choose to take it during the driving portion of the race; any vehicle chosen Luis gets to keep after the race (though the nitrous function is disabled). This is one of a relative few missions in which a unique vehicle can be obtained without having to fail the mission.
  • Rockstar's official website tips for this mission stress that taking a taxi results in any statistics being nullified; however, in reality there is no opportunity offered to actually use a taxi as Mori must be driven to the helipad and after that it's a race.

See also