Buoys Ahoy/Script

Script

Bernie: Yoohoo!

Niko: Bernie, what's wrong?

Bernie: Nothing sweetie. Oh, my God. You were the lucky one.

Niko: What?

Bernie: You could slice cheese on those puppies. I must be the only Slav without cheekbones. I'm thinking of getting implants.

Niko: But you sounded hysterical.

Bernie: Oh, sometimes, I can't bear to be alone. I'm so glad you've come back into my life, even if you did try to kill me. I'm so excited!

Niko: What are we doing here?

Bernie: We're going to have fun!

Niko: Fun?

Bernie: Yes. It's a four letter word, I know, but we can still try.

Niko: Look! More people want me dead than alive. I'm working for the Mafia. The police and a government agency are both on my case. I kill and steal to scrap together a living so that my cousin can fritter it away online and pay off debts... and all the while? People are trying to kill us! What is fun?

Bernie: Honey... you... are stressed.

Niko: Goodbye, Florian.

Bernie: No! No! No! No! No you don't, Niko. I need you. I need you to come on this boat trip with me. I need to talk to someone who truly knows me.

Niko: When I knew you you were training to be a shepherd. And you wanted to be a professional wrestler. Actually, maybe it does all makes sense.

Bernie: You understand me. Both of me! Come on. Bryce accidentally left the keys on purpose somewhere I could steal them. You drive, I'll work on my tan. My midriff is really pale.

Niko: Alright, lets have... fun.