Kibbutz Number One/Script

The following is a script of Kibbutz Number One in The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Script

Mori: Hey, Lou!

Luis: It's Luis.

Mori: Yeah, whatever. Come here, give me some love. Right here.

Luis: So - what do you want? Tony said you needed a favor.

Mori: What, I look like a charity case to you?

Luis: Can I plead the fifth on that one?

Mori: That's - that's funny. You're funny, you're fucking funny. Funny for a guy with all those pecs, but you got the lats of a little girl. And man you need calf implants, look at you. And you know, I'm guessing, just from looking at you, you ain't exactly packing a ten inch hose. Me? I make girls wince. Wince.

Luis: Just to level with you for a minute, bro, Tony owes you money. Tony's my boss and my friend, so I'll help you out a little, but if you mention my 'hose' again, I'll put you in the fucking ground.

Mori: Jesus Christ, man - you're pent up. Come on, I didn't mean anything by it. I apologize. Alright look, let's rewind, we'll restart, we'll relax. Come here. Page one. Give me a hug. Eh? Give me a hug. That's it. Now where were we?

(Brucie walks in)

Mori: Oh, well if it isn't my brother the ghost.

Brucie: Mori... what are you doing here, bro? And who's this guy?

Mori: It's Lou.

Luis: It's Luis.

Mori: Right. It's nice to see you too, little brother. Jesus, you look pale. What, somebody die?

Brucie: Unfortunately not, man. What are you doing here, Mori?

Mori: I am thinking about moving back home. You see I've been hearing stories about you getting somewhat above yourself, and I'm worried about you.

Brucie: Mori don't worry about me, man. I'm fine. Okay? I'm going to be just fucking fine.

Mori: Jesus - who is training you? Man oughta be horse whipped. Look at you. You're lumpy. You're like -a- awful, like a big pale mess. And you're fat, bro. Oh jeez, you're fat.

Brucie: Screw you, Mori, man... you're, you're...

Mori: "You're, you're" ...Perfect? Yeah. Chiseled, tanned, handsome. I'm the dream ticket. Yeah, Mom always warned me that you were a lazy kid. I bet you've been juicing.

Brucie: Of course I haven't.

(Mori begins sniffing and Luis and Brucie begin smelling themselves)

Mori: No, no, no. Yeah, I smell it on you. Fear. But I'm back now, Baby B. I'm b-b-b-back. And your life just got fun again. Come on. Lou, let's roll. Oh and fat boy - you better let your friends know about me, because Kibbutz number one...is back in town. And this time, it's kosher. See ya, wouldn't want to be ya...fag!

Dialogue

Mori: Hey you?

Gangster: What the fuck are you doing here, Mori?

Mori: Oy vey, motherfuckers!

Gangster: Dude, we told you we ain't in business with you no more. You're a rip off merchant.

Mori: No more cooperation, my friends. It's hostile takeover time, hand it over!

Gangster: Fuck you, Mori, you midget prick. You ripped us off for the last time. Let's get these fuckers!

(Luis drives the boat to Castle Gardens)

Luis: Here we go, bro. You gonna get out my face now?

Mori: Woo! Sure, I am. Sure. You did great. I'm feeling real bullshit about you, Lou. Real fucking bullish.

Luis: Good to know.

Mori: Hey you come by soon. We got some more shit to discuss.