Boulevard Baby/Script

The following is a script of the mission Boulevard Baby in The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Script

Dessie: That'w what I told 'em. Hey, I'm all good baby. How you doing, I.D?

Luis: Hey, Dessie.

Dessie: Hey, what's up, man?

Luis: What's up, man? Tony in?

Dessie: Uh, yeah, he got here a while ago. Enjoy your night.

Luis: Please, after you. Wow!

Dessie: I.D.

Roman: Okay, good evening my friend, how are you? See it's me? Yes, you okay? So I am good? I'm good. Yes, okay. Ladies, hide your titties!

(Luis finds the Asian woman that went inside and convinces her to have sex with him in the bathroom)

Luis: You like that, huh? What's my name, baby? What's my name?

Asian woman: Oh, I don't know, but feels so good, though!

(Luis finishes and meets with Tony in his office)

Tony: You're late.

Luis: Sorry man, something came up.

Tony: No doubt.

Luis: What's going on?

Tony: I'm trying to figure a way out of this shit. I've got a plan to keep that pair of chumps Rocco and Vince happy. Come on, I'll explain as we go.

(As they leave the club, Tony sees two Russians)

Tony: Whoa, whoa, whoa, just a quick hello, quick hello. Gentlemen, my name's Tony Prince, I hope you're enjoying yourselves.

Bulgarin: Ray Bulgarin. Tell me, where are the women?

Tony: Well, they're everywhere. That one over there is a TV starlet. That one there is a model. That one there I don't know, but I believe she just signed on with the Derriere campaign.

Bulgarin: How much? To fuck I mean.

Tony: No, no, no. They're not hookers. It's not that kind of club.

Bulgarin: Everywhere is that kind of club, you just need to know how much to pay.

Tony: Yeah, well...listen, can I buy you gentlemen a drink? Cindy, Cindy, come here! Take care of Mr. Bulgarin here. It's good to meet you. Please, come back. Enjoy your night. My right hand man, Luis, will take care of you. Goodnight.

Bulgarin: Thank you.

Cindy: So, gentlemen, more drinks?

Luis: Yes, please. Let's go. So, how's it going gentlemen?

Bulgarin: The faggot is your boss?

Luis: Sure.

Bulgarin: Must make for funny times at bonus time...

Luis: Hysterical. Hysterical.

Bulgarin: Where does the coke come from in this place?

Luis: I don't know about that shit, man, I just make sure people don't get killed.

Bulgarin: How very boring. I prefer it when they do.

Luis: You should come back on a busier night then, normally it's wall to wall corpses by midnight.

Bulgarin: You, I like... the faggot, not so much.

Tony: Gentlemen, thank you. Luis, we've got to go.

Luis: Gentlemen.

Tony: Jesus. Russian, richer than the church. Buy this place, end all our troubles.

Luis: Yes, nothing like Russian gangsters to bring a sense of peace and stability to a problem.

Dialogue

Tony: Oh Jesus, what did I do wrong? Take us to Bahama Mamas.

Luis: Now, Mamas is more Rocco's style than our place. Tell me he's gonna start hanging out with all that Bridge and tunnel crowd rather than us.

Tony: Don't we wish. No, sadly, he just wants you to talk to a lady in there.

Luis: Yo, Y, I ain't hurting no lady for Rocco.

Tony: They just want you to hit on her. She's an old friend of yours, Monique from the Derriere store in Suffolk.

Luis: Monique? Shit, after that thing with her roommate, I don't think that's gonna fly. What they want me hitting on girls for?

Tony: They want to get at her boyfriend. He owns the place, but he's in Venturas now.

Luis: So I'm some fucking gigolo now? Perfect.

Tony: I never seen you complain about chasing women before.

Luis: Well, I never been forced to chase them before.

(Luis and Tony arrive at Bahama Mama's)

Tony: Do what you do best, partner.

Luis: You ain't coming?

Tony: You think having a past-it old queen on your arm is some kind of aphrodisiac? Just try and forget it's a job.

Luis: The day has finally come, T. You've become my pimp. And I've finally lost my self respect. Later, bro.

(Luis enters the club)

Luis: If Tony could see these chumps.

Luis: Where's this girl?

(Luis finds Monique on the dance floor)

Luis: Mmm, there she is.

(Luis walks up to Monique)

Monique: What are you doing here, Luis? Maisonette close down?

Luis: Let me see you move, baby. I can't hear shit in this place.

(Luis finishes dancing with Monique)

Monique: Come on.

Luis: I'm coming, baby.

Monique: Oh, excuse me. Don't let anybody in, Maurice. And you better not say a fuckin' word to Vic.

Maurice: Alright, babe.

Luis: Wish me luck, papi.

(Luis and Monique go into the office and begin to make out)

Luis: Oh baby, take it easy on me, okay? I had a long day.

Monique: I'm going to make you forget all about that...

Luis: Mm, I bet you will.

(The club owner attempts to enter the office but Maurice tries to stall him)

Maurice: Vic, yo, shit. I think Serge wanted to see you outside.

Manzano: Serge's got the night off. Come on.

Maurice: Wa-wait...hold on a minute. I mean, you know...

Manzano: Get the fuck out of my way. Move!

(The owner goes into the office as Monique is giving Luis oral sex)

Maurice: Hey, Vic.

Luis: Aye si. Right there, chuppa, aye mio...

Manzano: Who the fuck are you?

(Monique gets up and sees Vic)

Monique: Vic! You were suppose to be in Venturas!

Manzano: You whore. I paid for those fuckin lips and this is how you repay me?

Monique: Hold on. I can explain.

Manzano: Puta!

(Vic grabs Monique by the throat, punches her in her side, throws her to the ground and spits on her)

Luis: Yo, that's not cool, bro.

Manzano: You put your cock in my woman's mouth and you think it's cool? Asshole.

(The club owner pulls out a gun on Luis)

Luis: Hey.

Post mission phone call

Tony: Luis.

Luis: You got Rocco there with you, T? Is he there?

Tony: What's gotten into you? Why are you so moody, Luis? You should talk to someone.

Luis: I get moody after I'm nearly killed, Tony. And that's happening a lot right now. Fuck! Monique's boyfriend wasn't in Venturas. The whole fucking club got shot to shit!

Tony: Okay, I see why you're upset. Get some rest and we'll talk soon. You're keeping us afloat here, Luis.