The Richard Bastion Show

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The Richard Bastion Show is a conservative WKTT Radio talk show hosted by Richard Bastion in Grand Theft Auto IV.

Description

Touted by Richard to be broadcasted on 1,400 radio stations around the world, the Richard Bastion Show is designed as a platform for conservatives to voice their opinions about various issues, primarily social conservatism. In addition to the constant right-wing rants by Richard, listeners will occasionally call in and rant about various topics, such as music and the government. Richard exhibits particular a distaste toward the "liberal" media, minority "agendas", foreigners, public education, and "sinful" sexual deviancy. The show is a spoof of the conservative talk-radio shows such as Rush Limbaugh's or Michael Savage's, mainly because of the sarcastic remarks, and the hatred towards the "liberal" media.

There are two Richard Bastion Show segments: The first centers around traditional family values, while the second discusses why America is the best country in the world. Despite being topical, both segments exhibit a degree of double standards in part of Richard himself, having bragged about his large, tennis ball container-shaped penis while arguing against promiscuous behavior, and arguing in favor of government intrusion into personal freedom in the name of national security while praising the amount of personal freedom America has.

In addition to a regular talk show format, The Richard Bastion Show conducts "Live Terror Sighting" alerts where a callers would report of a suspected terrorist sighting and respond to the sighting based on input from Richard. However, such claims are presumably based on shaky evidence; in the only "Live Terror Sighting" featured in the show, a caller mistakes a person reading a foreign-language material in the Liberty City Subway for a terrorist, only to be wrongly convinced by Richard that the reader is a terrorist of Spanish origin and respond by opening fire at the reader in plain sight of other passengers.

Bastion Buddies

Followers of the Richard Bastion Show are referred to as "Bastion Buddies", who seemingly exist to propagate conservative ideals as promoted by Richard. Bastion Buddies are also implied in "Live Terror Sighting" to act as vigilantes, dispensing personal justice against anyone suspected of being a national threat to America, regardless of a lack of evidence. Female Bastion Buddies are also encouraged to raise large numbers of children for a possible "culture war".

There is also a Bastion Buddies pledge used when initiating a new member, being based on the idea of abstinence. In one such initiation, a new member, a woman, is asked by Richard to repeat the pledge on live radio. It reads:

I will not cum onto men,
and sodomy is a sin even if I crave it.


If the pledge is identical for male initiates, however, it would imply that they must vow not to engage in homosexual activities but are allowed to ejaculate onto women.

Phone-ins

An interesting feature of the show is the use of actual fan-submitted recordings as calls from "listeners", as per request from Rockstar Games during development of GTA IV.

On July 13, 2007, a teaser site for the radio station at WKTTRadio.com (now redirecting to the WKTT section in the main GTA IV website) was launched as a competition of sorts, allowing fans to contact a New York-based number (212-360-2368) to leave a message about what they think is "wrong with Liberty City, America, Liberals or your health".

It's time for you to do your part in the war on terror - by calling a radio station and ranting at the top of your lungs about how awful peaceful people are and how we should kill everyone.

Does the anger of always being right make you feel like talking to someone? Have you got something to get off your chest? Don't bottle it up. Don't slur it at the bartender. Hear yourself on Liberty City radio!

Call the station right now at 212-360-2368 and tell us what you think is wrong with Liberty City, America, Liberals or your health. Tell the host you love the show. He likes that.

After the tone, say your name then spell it, then say your piece. For example, say: "Hey this is Don Lance, D-O-N L-A-N-C-E. I'll tell you what's wrong with America, etc" Got it?


Entrants had to be over 18 to legally enter this competition, and the Terms and Conditions for this promotion were available at the Rockstar Games website.

Winning entries were eventually scattered all over the show, including a series of sound bites during the introduction of each Richard Bastion Show segment, where they are each accompanied by responses by Richard Bastion himself. The calls included covers femininity among men, birth control, public breast feeding, furries, and even references to the Australian-American War.

Trivia

  • The name "Bastion" likely refers to the tendency of the conservative political movement to consider itself a "bastion" of common sense or rationality.