Bull in a China Shop/Script

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The following is a script of the mission Bull in a China Shop in Grand Theft Auto IV.


Mel: Ah, fuck you! You're a bunch of pussies and fags.

Mickey: Nice.

Mel: I'm going back to Romanie!

Mickey: Good.

Mel: I'm going to be somebody!

Mickey: Yeah, yeah. See you later, Mel.

Mel: You always were an asshole, Mickey...

Mickey: Hey! Watch where you're going.

Niko: Hey!

(Mel stumbles into Niko and Niko pushes him down)

Mel: Hey...

Mickey: I tried to tell ya.

Mel: Fuck you...

Niko: Excuse me.

(Niko walks to Vlad who is with Ivan)

Vlad: So, Ivan - I see you later, okay? Yokel... fatty Roman's cousin... what's your name again?

Niko: Big mouth prick.

Vlad: Very catchy, sit down. Cousin... Niko... that's it, Niko... not big mouth prick. You funny guy.

Niko: I try.

Vlad: Yes... and this once, I let you take the shit out of me.

Niko: Take the shit?

Vlad: Yes, mickey about.

Niko: I don't understand.

Vlad: People who fuck with me get fucked with!

Niko: Okay, fine. Calm down.

Vlad: Whatever, some old man not paid me in months, and I'm not kind of person who is treated this way. Old bastard owns a china shop on Camden Avenue in Dukes. Here you go... Don't hurt him. Just teach him a lesson.

Niko: I don't need a bat to teach a lesson.


(Niko goes to the store)

Niko: Hey, let me in. You owe Vlad protection money, old man.

Shop owner: Big Vlad and his protection money. I so scared. What I need protection from?

Niko: You think this door is going to save your shop? There's shit I can break out here.

Shop owner: Vlad should pay me to tell punks like you to go away. He get no money.

(Niko smashes the window)

Shop owner: Stop it shit brain. I pay up now, I pay up.

Shop owner: Shit. Here. I thought Vlad and I had understanding?

Niko: Only thing I understood was you owed him money.


Shop owner: Here's your money. I hope you and Vlad choke on it.

Niko: Sure, whatever.


(Niko smashes the window before talking to the shop owner):

Shop owner: What fuck you doing? You pay for that, crazy man.

Niko: You should have paid Vlad his protection money.

Shop owner: Point proven. I get it.

(Niko takes the money back to Vlad)

Vlad: Hey yokel, you manage to do the job? Get Vlad his money

Niko: He paid up. I had to smash the shop up pretty good, but he paid.

Vlad: Don't worry your little peasant head about it. Stupid jerk made a mistake of telling me how much he gets that shit for back east. He's the biggest crook in the neighborhood. Lucky I don't tell his customers what they're paying for.

Niko: That it? Can I go now?

Vlad: Sure, get out of my face.

Post mission text message

Yokel, come see me for more work. - Vlad

Post mission phone call

Roman: Niko, how you doing? This is so much fun.

Niko: You know Roman, I haven't been having that much fun since I got here. Has been a lot like hard work.

Roman: Well, you should hang out with your cousin more often.

Niko: Maybe that is the problem.

Roman: Ha ha. I'm sitting here with Brucie. Well, we're sitting here and calling the cops and watching them show up and look around. The fucking stupid bastards.

Niko: You shouldn't cry wolf, Roman. Who knows when you will really need help.

Roman: Fuck, I think they see us. Have to go, Niko.

Failing the mission

Shop owner is killed

Niko: Vlad, I scared the old man too much. He's dead.

Vlad: Stupid peasant, think about it. Dead men can't pay me money. Now your cousin's going to have to owe me for this as well.

Unused dialogue

(Dialogue which isn't heard in-game)

Shopkeeper: Big man with the big bat. I so impressed.

Niko: But you know that there is nothing stopping me from coming back here and smashing it in your face.

Vlad: Come to the bar.

Niko: Fine.

Niko: For the record, I don't take orders from Vlad. I'm just doing a favor for my cousin.

Niko: From people like me.

Niko: Hello, you got some nice stuff in here.

Shopkeeper: Hey, don't hurt me. Vlad say you too stupid to understand his orders.

Niko: I can smell you too.

Niko: I did what you said, I got your money.

Shopkeeper: I don't give no shit about you Russians.

Niko: I gave him the vodka.

Niko: I hope you don't mind.

Shopkeeper: I paid you all the money I had. There's no more.

Shopkeeper: I thought you were protecting me now?

Niko: I will give you a bottle of vodka now to apologize for what I did.

Vlad: If you give a shit about your fatty cousin's debt then I've got some more work for you.

Shopkeeper: Ok, this not so funny no more.

Niko: Seems careless to not be paying Vlad his protection money?

Shopkeeper: Smash, smash, smash. You boring me.

Shopkeeper: Stupid man, you wasting your time.

Vlad: Take this bottle of Cherenkov. Say you're sorry and you won't do it again.

Vlad: That means don't fucking hurt him, alright. Hear me now?

Vlad: What are you doing hurting my friends, yokel? You trying to make me mad?

Shopkeeper: What are you doing? I pay you already.

Vlad: You kissed and made up, that's sweet.

Niko: You know what, Vlad. I wanted that vodka all to myself, so I got rid of the shop owner.

Vlad: You pathetic halfwit, what if I decide to get rid of your cousin when I next pay him a visit. Shit.

Shopkeeper: Your arm starting to hurt already? I get tired just watching you.

Vlad: You're deaf as well as stupid. That's good to know, yokel. I said scare him, don't hurt him.