Momma's Boy/Script


Luis: Mami, soy yo!

Ms. Lopez: Luis, this is Mr. Santo.

Luis: What's going on?

Mr. Santo: Hey, I guess I didn't recognize you from your mom not having any pictures of you up on the walls.

Luis: Yeah, I guess she doesn't have any up.

Mr. Santo: Now you mention it, I guess mug shots don't sit along too well with graduation shots.

Luis: Yo, who the fuck are you?

Ms. Lopez: Well, it's complicated. Mr. Santo is a businessman...

Mr. Santo: It's not that complicated when you think about it. You see your mother here has been making that classic American mistake. In other words, she's been living beyond her means.

Luis: Hey bro, be polite when you talk about my mother, man.

Mr. Santo: I'm being very polite. See, I like her. She's a good woman. If I didn't like her, I would have burnt this building down by now.

Luis: Mami, you know you could have came to me for money.

Ms. Lopez: But what would you do to get it?

Luis: Yeah, I wouldn't borrow it off a piece of shit like this.

Mr. Santo: Hey, be careful, kid. I could have you killed.

Luis: Oh, I'm really scared of you, motherfucker. Huh? How do you sleep at night, man, loan sharking to old women?

Mr. Santo: Hey. She called me, okay? It's business. We run a service. She knew the rules. She should have read the small print.

Luis: You know you really are a piece of shit.

Mr. Santo: I'm a businessman, and trust me, it could get a lot worse, my friend. Now, calm the fuck down. Your mother told me about you. Maybe you can help me pay off your mother's debt, that way this building doesn't have to come to an unfortunate end.

Luis: Yeah, okay.

Mr. Santo: Okay, let's go. As always, nice to see you, Ms. Lopez.

Ms. Lopez: Luis, be careful.

Luis: Yes, bit rich coming from you.

Ms. Lopez: You ought not to judge me, Luis Lopez. You're just like your father.


Mr. Santo: No need for transport. We going somewhere close.

(Luis and Mr. Santo begin walking)

Mr. Santo: You gonna start fighting for money again.

Luis: Sorry bro, but I don't do that no more.

Mr. Santo: I saw you go a few years back. Could have been something if you didn't care so much about that pretty face of yours.

Luis: Thanks, but that ain't the reason I quit.

Mr. Santo: You ain't quittin' no more. My thinking is you were bad enough for no one to notice when you take a dive. You beat the first two guys I set you up with, then you fall on the third.

Luis: Fuck, bro.

(The two get near LC Cage Fighters)

Luis: Shit, bro. I sure didn't think I'd be coming back here again. Man, there's probably even some guys on the scene that still remember me. If they ain't all fucked up by now.

(The two enter the building)

Luis: What if I get used to winning?

Mr. Santo: Then your momma better get used to me coming around an not being my usual friendly self.

(If Luis strays too far from Mr. Santo)

Mr. Santo: Don't run off now.

Mr. Santo: Where you going?

Mr. Santo: Stick with me, kid, or momma's gonna get screwed, comprende?

Announcer: Santo, get your fighter dressed and in the pit. He's up.


Announcer: Time for your fighter to shine, Santo. Get him changed and ringside.

Announcer: Santo, your guy's up. Get him dressed and in the ring.

Mr. Santo: Remember our deal.


Mr. Santo: You're up, kid.

(Luis steps in the ring)

Announcer: The odds are good. Place your bets.

Announcer: Who gonna put some money on this shit?

Announcer: Place your bets. Place your bets.

Announcer: Get your bets down.

Announcer: Come on. It ain't fun unless you bet on this shit.

(Luis begins to fight the first opponent)

Mr. Santo: Come on, Luis.

Mr. Santo: Fuck him up!

Mr. Santo: Drive up them odds, Lopez.

Mr. Santo: Don't lose this one, you bitch.

Mr. Santo: Don't let him hit you in that pretty face.

Mr. Santo: He ain't so tough.

Mr. Santo: Watch that mug of yours.

Mr. Santo: Your momma would want you to win.

(When Luis defeats the first or second opponents)

Announcer: Ding. Ding. Next round.

Announcer: Next round. Ding. Ding.

Announcer: He's through to the next.

Announcer: We through to the next round.

Announcer: Moving on to the next round.

Announcer: Let's see if he can handle the next round.

Announcer: See if you can handle these guys.

(The third and last opponent enters the ring)

Fighter: You're even more of a pussy than I remember.

Fighter: I'm gonna take my sweet time kicking the shit outta you.

Fighter: I been waiting three years for this.

Fighter: You ain't gonna be so pretty after this.

Fighter: You shoulda stayed quit, little bitch.

Mr. Santo: I'm betting against you here, Lopez.

Mr. Santo: Think about your momma.

Mr. Santo: Take it like a man.

Mr. Santo': Don't overexert yourself there!

(If Luis loses to the third fighter)

Mr. Santo: Hey man, you know you did the right thing. Nice to see a man like you swallow his pride for his mama.

Luis: Just stay the fuck away from her, okay? You got your money. We done.

Mr. Santo: You listen to me. I was there for your momma when you weren't. I think you must a lost some brain cells in that fight.

Luis: If I see you again I'll kill you, bro. I'm out.

(If Luis beats the third fighter)

Mr. Santo: What the fuck? You know how much money I had on that fight? Are you too fucking stupid to know when to lay down?

Luis: I guess I must be.

Mr. Santo: You're a fucking dead man. I'm gonna burn that bitch mom of yours, too.

Luis: I don't think you are, tough guy. This little game's over for you.

(Santo and Luis fight)

Mr. Santo: You lose me a whole lot of money.

Mr. Santo: What you so proud for?

Mr. Santo: Think about what's happening to your moms.

Mr. Santo: You think you some tough guy now.

Mr. Santo: You fucking pussy.

Mr. Santo: That bitch is gonna burn.

Alternate dialogue

Mr. Santo: Let's walk and talk.

(Luis and Mr. Santo begin walking)

Mr. Santo: Good news. I bought you out of retirement. You're a fighter now.

Luis: That mean I get the opportunity to kick your ass?

Mr. Santo: No such luck, pretty boy. I got you set up at a tournament. You're gonna beat the first two guys. Then I'm gonna bet against you, and you're gonna let the third guy take you out.

Luis: Shit.

(The two get near LC Cage Fighters)

Luis: LC Cage Fighters. Shit, bro. I spent some time in this place. Just like you must spend time round retirement communities and churches trying to scam old ladies.

(The two enter the building)

Luis: What if I don't want to take a fall?

Mr. Santo: Listen, man. You bitched out of a promising career to run around with a rich fag. Don't get too proud now.

Post mission phone calls

Santo killed

Ms. Lopez: My boy. What have you been doing?

Luis: I been taking care of things for you, ma. That guy ain't coming around no more. Don't worry about it.

Ms. Lopez: What kind of attitude is that to give your momma? Do you think you're something special? Like some baseball player? Like some gangster?

Luis: Mami, I didn't imply anything like that.

Ms. Lopez: Yo organize parties, Luis. You're a bouncer? Don't act the big shot with me because I know who you are.

Luis: Mami, you don't know me! The most important people in the world come to our clubs, and I look after them. I am something, and I look after you. I'll see you soon, okay? Bye.

Santo alive

Ms. Lopez: Hijo.

Luis: I took a dive in that fight for you, Mami. You don't owe that guy any more money.

Ms. Lopez: What you mean you took a dive? You mean you lost? You claim to be some big shot and you can't even win a fight for your momma.

Luis: I lost the fight for you, Mami.

Ms. Lopez: I didn't ask you to lose no fight. I did not ask for losers in my family.

Luis: You know what? Forget about it, Ma. Just don't go borrowing any more money. See you soon.

Failing the mission

Santo killed

Ms. Lopez: Luis. How are you and Mr. Santo getting on?

Luis: Not so well, Ma. But you don't have to worry about that debt anymore.

Ms. Lopez: Dios. Please don't tell me you did anything evil. What have I brought into this world?

Santo abandoned

Ms. Lopez: Luis. Where are you? What happened?

Luis: Mami, hey. I need you to be careful, okay? I left that guy and he might be kind of angry. Can you look out for him?

Ms. Lopez: Thank you for your help, hijo. I knew I should have called one of your brothers. Stupid of me to depend on the hoodlum on the family.

Causing trouble

Mr. Santo: Your momma was unfortunate to have you as a son, Lopez.

Luis: Yeah. She's got two other kids to keep her happy, but I'm the one who's gonna fuck you up if you go near her.

(Luis calls his mother)

Ms. Lopez: Hijo. Did you manage to fix that small upset for me?

Luis: Sorry, mami, I couldn't. Maybe you should call one of your other kids and see if they could help. They the ones who made a success of their lives. Bye.