No Way on the Subway/Script

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Phil Bell: You sure this guy's alright? You check him out?

Ray: I'm tellin' ya the guy's good. Hey, here he is right here. Phil, Niko. Niko, Phil.

Phil Bell: So you're the guy who got jumped for a couple million?

Niko: Yeah. You gonna pop me for it?

Phil Bell: Ha ha... no. I've heard good things. Some aren't friends... but y'know... what are you gonna do?

Niko: You're right... I've been keeping bad company.

Phil Bell: Oh, you mean this guy? He's okay... well he pays up and he ain't gone state's yet.

Ray: Very funny. Ha, ha.

Phil Bell: Listen we got a lot of missing money, and we got a problem with these fucking bikers...

Niko: And I got a problem finding someone.

Ray: Yeah, I nearly got something on that.

Phil Bell: So, we sent some of our boys after the money. Maybe you can deal with the bikers. Calm them down. They're causing trouble on the corner of Vauxite and Exeter.

Niko: Sure.

Phil Bell: Otherwise, you and Raymond here got a serious problem. The boss has gotta get paid. Even when people forget to tell him about things they're working on...

Ray: Don't bust my balls. What's the point of talking about things unless they become real?

Phil Bell: I'm sure.

Ray: I'm sure you're sure Phil, you of all people.

Phil Bell: Now what the hell does that mean?

Ray: Nothing... I mean come one, you're a guy who knows what's what...

Phil Bell: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

(Niko confronts the bikers)

Niko: You took something that belonged to my employers.

Jim Fitzgerald: Shit, that's the cocksucker that Johnny ripped off for the diamond loot. Hey, why don't we see if he can keep up with some real American bikers? Ha! Let's do this!

Niko: Here we go again.


Niko: Just great. Fantastic.

Niko: Couldn't they make this easy?

(Niko begins chasing the bikers)

Jim Fitzgerald: You made a mistake following us.

Jim Fitzgerald: Woo hoo! We're riding like real Americans, you ain't!

Jim Fitzgerald: How you doing back there, asshole?

Jim Fitzgerald: You've bitten off more than you can chew, dickhead.

Jim Fitzgerald: I hope you're enjoying yourself.

Jim Fitzgerald: You ain't a biker, asshole - you never will be!

Jim Fitzgerald: You ain't never gonna out ride the Lost biker gang.

(If Niko kills one of the bikers)

Niko: Perhaps he was not such a good rider!


Niko: Well, the big bad biker got his self killed!

Niko: Oh no! Your buddy's dead!

(If Niko abstains from killing the bikers, one will eventually crash head-on with a train)

Niko: Was that the uptown J train?

Niko: Shit, your friends body's gonna be smeared from here to Northwood!

Post mission phone call

Niko: I got rid of those bikers for you. Johnny wasn't there though.

Ray: The other guys is meant to be taking are of him. Don't worry about it, Nicky.

Failing the mission

Bikers escape

Niko:I couldn't get all of those bikers, Ray. The message hasn't been sent.

Ray: This thing of ours is only surviving because we send a message when we get fucked with. You were meant to be our messenger. Come back to Drusilla's you amateur.