Do You Have Protection?/Script
(Niko shows up at Faustin's house and knocks on the door and Dimitri answers)
Dimitri: Hey, Niko.
Dimitri: Come in.
Niko: Thank you.
(The two walk in and find Faustin snorting cocaine)
Dimitri: Lay off that stuff.
Dimitri: Because it clouds your judgment. Not now, it's not the time.
Faustin: My judgment. That's a good one. I'm a fool. A drunken fool.
Dimitri: Niko's here. We're going to go take care of that guy. I take it you won't be joining us?
Faustin: Make him suffer. People forget pain so quickly.
Dimitri: You need to calm down with that stuff.
Faustin: Calm? Why? So I can be like you, Mr. Barbiturate? Always so fucked up on painkillers you don't give shit?
Dimitri: You need to calm down.
Faustin: Where would we be now if I was calm like you?
Dimitri: Let me guess, in a prison camp in Siberia. Or selling has to tourists in Red Square, or still in the navy? Which is it today?
Faustin: Be careful, Dimitri. Be fucking careful.
Dimitri: You be careful... you're getting crazy.
Faustin: That's the way it works. I am angry, you are calm. I scare, you reason. It works...
Dimitri: Yes, but you've angered the wrong people.
Faustin: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Dimitri: Too many bodies, too much attention. We'll be dealt with... if we don't start playing by the rules.
Faustin: I've angered people? Me? Not "we". Strange. When I give out the money, it's "us". When I have to push people, it's "me". All alone. Don't think I cannot see through you. After all we've done together...
Dimitri: You're getting delusional. Look, we have to go.
(Faustin runs up and hugs Dimitri)
Faustin: I fucking love you.
Dimitri: Yes, yes.
Faustin: I fucking love you...
Dimitri: I know this.
Faustin: Yeah. But you treat me like a child. I run things my way. Dimitri Rascalov. My fucking way! Get out of my sight! Or I fucking kill you!
Dimitri: I'm not saying don't run things your way. I'm saying be calm. Here, take a couple of these...
(Dimitri pulls out a bottle of painkillers and gives them to Faustin who just throws them back at him)
Faustin: What are you still doing here? I said get out of my sight!
Dimitri: We're going to that sex shop on Hove Beach. This guy been making porno in his basement and he didn't cut Mikhail in.
Niko: Least he could have done is sent over some tapes.
Dimitri: You know how much money there is selling this stuff online? A whole fucking heap. We're going to ignore what Mikhail said and try not to kill them. Taking a bite of this pile would be very profitable for our operation.
Niko: I got no problem with sparing some lives.
Dimitri: No, it's Mikhail that has that issue. Can't keep his finger off the triggers. Wasn't always like this though. Things got to him.
Niko: I hope it don't get to me.
(The two arrive at the shop)
Dimitri: Where's your boss?
Clerk: What do ya mean? He's uh...
Dimitri: In the back?
Clerk: No, no, no, he's...
Dimitri: They better not be filming.
Clerk: No they just havin' a meeting. I swear...
(Dimitri pushes him aside)
Dimitri: Get out of the way.
Joseph: You see, they don't make 'em like that no more. That's a vintage bush. If it wasn't for that, I'd say this weren't worth transferring to DVD.
Dimitri: Hey, Joseph! You think you can expand your business interests make these pornos and sell them, and we won't know about it, huh?
Joseph:Woah, woah... We was just waiting 'til the books was closed at the end of the financial year. Then we was gonna cut you in.
Dimitri: Your books are closed until you pay us our cut. Niko, take this and cover Joseph.
(Niko aims the pistol at Joseph)
Joseph: We ain't making that much cash.
Dimitri: Is that a fact? Maybe we can't pop you, Joseph. But we can fuck up one of your boys.
(Niko aims the pistol at Brett)
Brett: Listen, big guy. You got a great look going on, real strong. We could put you in one of our films.
Dimitri: Shoot this scumbag in the leg.
Bret: Hey man, please? Go easy on me. Come on, big guy?
Dimitri: Come on, Niko. Put a cap in his fucking leg.
Dimitri: Shut this dickhead up, Niko.
Dimitri: Shoot him in the fucking leg, Niko.
(Niko shoots Brett in the leg)
Joseph: Alright, alright already. Brett was just trying to be friendly. Shit, he'll be outta action for a couple a weeks.
Dimitri: You got some money for Mr. Faustin?
Joseph: Fine, here you go. We ain't gonna have the...
(Dimitri pistol-whips Joseph)
Dimitri: You should have thought of that earlier.
Actor: I can't die today. I'm special. I'm really special. I can show you...
Actor: I got something special in these pants, I need to show it to the world.
Actor: I'm special, I'm going to be a star. Don't hurt me. A big, big star!
Actor: Please don't hurt me, I'm an actor.
Actor: Don't kill me. I got a load of desperate fans on the internet.
Dimitri: This is a mess, let's get out of here.
Dimitri: Fuck, why couldn't you make this easy? We're out of here, Niko.
Dimitri: Joseph, I thought you were a better businessman than this. We go, Niko.
(Niko and Dimitri leave the shop)
Dimitri: We're going to an alleyway off of Dillon Street in Schottler. I want to buy you a present.
Niko: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?
Dimitri: Screw you, we're seeing a friend of mine who's got a good line on weapons. It's underground. A backroom place. There are a few around the city. The Mayor has a real hard-on for gun control.
Niko: Guns don't seem that controlled. I seen plenty and I just got here.
Dimitri: And now you'll know where to get them for yourself, what's the problem?
(Faustin calls Dimitri)
Dimitri: Mikhail... I know you didn't mean it. That's alright. I didn't kill Joseph, we will make more money with him alive. Shit! Mikhail... Mikhail? Fuck! You're lucky Roman don't try to make you kill someone every two seconds.
(They arrive at the gun shop)
Dimitri: The shop is just down that alleyway. Pick out what you like. Tell them to put it on Mr. Faustin's account.
Shop owner: Alright, you don't look like a cop. Buy what you want.
Niko: I'll take this one. Charge Mr. Faustin.
Shop owner: You fuckin' Ruskies are milking me dry. I ain't a cow.
Niko: I ain't Russian.
(Niko returns to Dimitri)
Dimitri: Drive us to Mr. Faustin's.
Niko: So, you and Mr. Faustin, have you always argued and made up like this?
Dimitri: It wasn't always like this. Mikhail was a great man. He had a temper, but he was fair. Now, he blows his top at the slightest thing. I never know who he will shoot, who he will stab. Andrei, who you met in Mikhail's basement. He was always loyal, he was a good worker, now he is dead. I guess that that is why we need your help.
(The two arrive back at Faustin's)
Dimitri: Thank you for your help, Niko. Come to see us at the club soon. Mikhail will be cool by then.
Niko: Remind Faustin of that, maybe then he will not try to kill me.
Niko: Am I helping pick out a porno for you? I think you know best what you like. Mikhail said something about men suffering. That sounds like some sick shit.
Dimitri: Funny. That ain't it. These guys are making the shit loads of cash, and we ain't seein' any of it. Word is, they've started their own porno site as well.
Niko: You guys a getting protection money off of websites now? What, you stop them from getting viruses?
Dimitri: Mikhail gets a taste of any money that gets made in Hove Beach. It doesn't matter that it's online.
Niko: I'll keep that in mind.
Dimitri: Yeah, you will. Especially since you got rid of Vlad, our fucking debt collector.
Niko: Shit, well now it looks like you got me to settle your business.
(Niko drives to the gun shop)
Dimitri: We're going to a gun shop.
Niko: Hey, I heard about these. Big American Supermarket where you can buy any gun you want. Ammu-Nation, right? Shopping carts full of AK47s... I might buy flamethrower.
Dimitri: That is another part of America. Here in Liberty City, there is no such things as the Ammu-Nation. Buying guns is illegal. In fact, the Mayor of this city tries to shut down Ammu-Nation shops in other states. This is because guns from them have ended up on the streets here.
Niko: So, what's this gun shop?
Dimitri: It's underground. A backroom place. There are a few around the city. Useful if you know about them.
Niko: Yeah, could be. Depends how things go for me while I'm here. I might run into someone I want to shoot.
Dimitri: As long as that someone is not me or Mikhail, then all is good. With a gun you will stay protected, that is the important thing.
Niko: Yes, you're right. It looks like I need to protect myself and my cousin in this place.
Dimitri: Do not fear. You no longer need to protect yourself from myself and Mikhail. We are your friends.
(Niko drives back to Faustin's)
Dimitri: How is your cousin, Roman, after the incident the other day?
Niko: Once he learns to control his bowels again he will be good. Mikhail fucked up his guts pretty bad.
Dimitri: At least he's alive, eh? Mikhail don't always go for the gut shots.
Niko: I guess Roman's real lucky then. I wonder what big favor Faustin's gonna do for him next?
Dimitri: You got to remember, you killed Vlad. That angered Mikhail no matter what he said. It was very difficult for me to persuade him that a man like you could be more useful to us alive than dead.
Niko: You trying to tell me I owe you my life.
Dimitri: No, I'm not. I was trying to tell you, that I am a man who appreciates a good business venture when one comes along. Mikhail is making enemies very rapidly, a friend like you is useful. You are a man worth having on our side.
Niko: Pleased to be of use.
Post mission text message
What goin' on, Niko? I cotching with Real Badman. He a hortical Don. Come see I. Easy - LJ
Failing the mission
Niko: I got some bad news, Mr. Faustin. Dimitri's gone.
Faustin: Dimitri.. dead? How? This is impossible. Come see me and explain.
Porn shop guys/gun shop owner injured
Dimitri: You need to control yourself, you could become like Mikhail. There is no room for two maniacs in our operation.