Paparazzo/Script
The following are dialog and mission scripts for "Paparazzo", a mission in Grand Theft Auto V.
Script
(Franklin begins walking up to a building in West Vinewood and is ambushed by paparazzo Beverly Felton who starts taking photos of him)
Franklin Clinton: What the fuck? Give me that motherfucking camera.
Beverly Felton: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Whoa! Back off there, cowboy. I know my constitutional rights. Anyway, I know you were coming here to suck cock, so it's alright.
Franklin Clinton: What the fuck you talkin' about?
Beverly Felton: Whoa! Hey! Look, I saw "Quarterback Blues", man. And y'know, some of those older records of yours even they sound a little big closeted, I'm just sayin'.
Franklin Clinton: What? A black man walking in Vinewood, you think he Clay PG Sellout? You bitch-ass punk motherfucker.
Beverly Felton: Oh. Oh shit, man. Oh... Hey. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't, didn't have my contacts in... y'know. I mean I love black people. Yeah, y'know like, like... I love gangsters! I love, like, gangster rap. "Yo! Sup!"
Franklin Clinton: Man, who gives a fuck if he's gay or not, man? The man is not married. It's his business. Leave motherfuckers alone.
Beverly Felton: Look, I'm just sayin' that, that it's the hypocrisy that I can't stand. Y'know, I mean of celebrities. I mean PG... right, he says he's a killer and a murderer and all that great stuff and then, what? He loves his mother and likes showtunes. I mean, really, what kind of message is that sending our kids? You know what I'm sayin'? The guys a fraud.
Franklin Clinton: But why do you care, man?
Beverly Felton: Because, you know why? Because, they all think they're gods, right? Well fuck them. Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck! Them! Fuck them. They're not magic. No, no, they're no better than me. They're no better than m...
(Beverly notices something)
Beverly Felton: Shit, oh shit, oh my God, it's Miranda.
(Beverly starts walking away from Franklin)
Beverly Felton: Miranda, I love you! Miranda! Come on... c'mon, come on, it's fucking Miranda fucking Cowan! C'mon on she's a fucking megastar.
Franklin Clinton: Man, look. No, no, leave me out your shit, man.
Beverly Felton: Oh, no, no, no! We can make beaucoup bucks here, man. We get one picture of her hairy legs, or her aging muff, and we are in the money, man. In the money, bro. Come on, man! Come on.
Franklin Clinton: Oh... what the fuck is wrong with me?
(Franklin goes to Beverly's motorcycle)
Beverly Felton: Let's go! You drive. I'll get the shot.
(Franklin and Beverly get on the motorcycle and begin to chase Miranda's limousine)
Beverly Felton: Go, go! Get us right up alongside that limo.
(Franklin drives the motorcycle close to the limo)
Beverly Felton: I love her!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: You know you want it, Cowan.
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: Open it up, you cow.
(If Franklin is too far away from the limo for Beverly to take pictures)
Beverly Felton: Come on, closer!
Franklin Clinton: I get the idea, homie.
(If Franklin drives into the limo)
Beverly Felton: Not that close!
(Beverly spots what Miranda and the man are doing inside the limo during the chase)
Beverly Felton: I don't believe it! She's slamming a speedball in there, man! This is journalistic gold!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: She's a goddess, she's a whore!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: The fans have a right to know! Everything!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: You ruined his life! Now make my day!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: Man, they don't call her the Silicone Slattern for nothing. She looks like a blood hound in a wind tunnel. God, I love her.
Franklin Clinton: Oh man, no wonder this whole town's in therapy.
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah, gimme more! Gimme more!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: You don't look a day over forty-five!
(Franklin and Beverly continue to pursue the limo)
Beverly Felton: Aroooo! Show us your marriage busting muff, Miranda! You bitch!
Franklin Clinton: We done yet?
Beverly Felton: No, she still looks too good. I want the prisoner of war shot. That's where the big zeros are.
(The limo drives by North Rockford Dr and Madison Fox, a rival paparazzo, joins the pursuit)
Madison Fox: Fuck you Beverly, this one's mine!
Beverly Felton: No, no, it's that bottom-feeder Madison! Shit, he's getting the money shots! Where's your dignity, man!? Forget Miranda, we can't let him steal my exclusive. Get alongside him, I'll knock the weasel off.
(Beverly and Franklin begin pursuing Madison as he turns off on Boulevard Del Perro)
Beverly Felton: Stay on that bastard.
(Franklin drives next to Madison so Beverly can knock him off his motorcycle)
Beverly Felton: Oh yeah, I downloaded your pictures to the fucking road, Madison! Now grow up and get a boy's name! Okay, buddy, let's get out of here. I'm already late for another stakeout.
(Franklin drives Beverly to his next stakeout on Cougar Ave)
Franklin Clinton: Alright, homie, it's been an education, dog. Look, keep on making the world a better place, you hear me?
Beverly Felton: The public needs to know, the fans deserve answers!
Franklin Clinton: Shit, not if the question is how low is Miranda Cowan's muff hanging, or if she getting banged up by some second rate director.
Beverly Felton: They need to know everything! From crow's feet, to camel toes. Hey! Hey! Hey! Come by the Manor next week, we'll continue the search for the truth!
Franklin Clinton: Look, don't wait around for me, homie.
Beverly Felton: Oh, I'm waiting for you, homie!