Preacher/Script
The following is the script for the preacher soapboxxer who can be found outside South LS Liquor at the corner of Carson Ave and Dutch London St in Rancho, Los Santos in Grand Theft Auto V.
Script
Preacher: I am your true salvation - join me - as I joined my brother in Liberty City. Join me in a life of joy - the joy of telling people the truth - that they are filthy sinners who are going to die. Praise be! You are going to die a painful and horrible death! Yeah, pain! Suffering! Or join me. Join me in paradise!
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: What is paradise, you say? Paradise is preaching my word! This is paradise! Standing on the corner telling people what to do and how full of evil they are! That's true paradise! (laughs) Your insults are my nectar and your downfall.
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: Listen to me - listen to me - why don't you people listen to me? What's wrong with you people? I am bringing you a message that is important to me, and you ignore me? Shame on you. When you sit at home, on your comfortable couch, with your family, eating, all happy, all content - remember - this ain't real! Suffering is real! Punishment is real! And that I promise you!
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: My brother told me - you have two choices! Repent and suffer or live in ignorance. What kind of man wants to live in ignorance? America ain't about ignorance! It's about suffering! Suffer with me, people. Suffer with me! Ain't nothing better than suffering!
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: You think you're happy? You think you're content? You think your life is okay? Well, you're wrong. Open your eyes - you're miserable! You're suffering! Life is awful! All you miserable people need to repent and suffer. Suffer! I say. It's the lifeblood of life and blood. Suffer, I say!
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: Listen, listen to me, somebody listen - I am here today to save you! My cousin saved souls in the east and I am here for you, Los Santos - I am here to save you. And how do I plan to save you? As I myself was once saved, by being punished hideously. Yes, hidesouly. Heed the word and the word is salvation and salvation comes with a beating!
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: Ignore me at your peril - live in ignorance if that's what you like, but you'll suffer. Oh, you'll suffer. You'll think to yourself - being beaten and punished for my existence would have been easy if only I had listened. Live on credit no longer - it's time to take your beating. Suffer or die, people. Suffer or die.
(There is a brief pause)
Preacher: My brother taught me out east - he taught me this - ad hear me when I say - he taught me this - repent for any and everything you have ever done. Repent, my brothers and sisters. Your life ain't nothing but depravity. Depravity, I say. Nothing but depravity. Filth and depravity. But no more. Repent and be saved.
(At this point, the preacher will start at the beginning of this script)