Corner Kids/Script

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The following is a script of the mission Corner Kids in The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Script

Luis: Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Armando: What do you mean, homie?

Luis: You can't be sitting here, man, watching him. Any fool policeman on his second day on the job will know you're the guy with the shit, man. You'll wind up back inside, you moron.

Armando: It's nice to see you, Mr. big shot. Real nice to see you. Captain Downtown come up here to talk down to his old friends.

Luis: Yeah, I just care about you guys, okay.

Armando: I don't have a choice, man. My right hand man got a single digit IQ. Hey, H, come over here, man. Of course, I could do what you did, Run the fuck away. Go fuck a man, or some shit.

Luis: Yo, I ain't fucking no man, bro. Okay? I'm working the best clubs in the city. I ain't going no where. I'm ten minutes away on the train. Ten fucking minutes. What's up, H?

Armando: It's like it's another country down there. Ten fucking minutes. I'll give you ten fucking minutes. You ran away.

Luis: Yo, whatever, man.

Armando: Whatever.

Henrique: Whatever.

Luis: You want a job, bro? I'll get you a job, man, you know that.

Armando: Yeah, yeah, for sure, man. I want a job sucking some again playboy's cock. I want that job real bad. Sign me the fuck up.

Luis: You're such a dick, bro.

Armando: You would know.

Luis: Henrique, can you get the moron to shut up please?

Armando: I'm sorry man, I just miss you and maybe I express myself coarsely, but we was like family.

Luis: Oye, loco, we are family, man. But family doesn't mean we have to live up here, slinging drop to a bunch of suburban punks from Alderney. And complaining about how life could be. We are on the doorstep, man. Liberty fucking City. We could run the fucking world, man.

Armando: And are you running the world, or you running errands for some ass muncher?

Luis: Yo, Tony's alright, man...

Armando/Henrique: "He's like the daddy I never had."

Armando: Fucking sugar daddy.

Luis: Aye, whatever, man. Mami!

Ms. Lopez: Luis! Boys!

Luis: Hey mami, como esta?

Armando: Mrs. L.

Ms. Lopez: How are you boys?

Henrique: Hey, Mrs. Lopez.

Ms. Lopez: Aye, Luis, you look tired.

Luis: Hey mami, I've been working. You know.

Ms. Lopez: I do know, that's the problem. When you going to go back to school?

Luis: Aye, mami, por favor.

Ms. Lopez: I hear you're going back to school, Armando.

Armando: I'm doing a MBA, Mrs L.

Luis: Hey, let's go. Mami, I gotta go, okay? But here, take this.

Ms. Lopez: Luis, take your life more seriously, baby. Please. Don't be like your father.

Luis: Look at your brother, look at your sister. They're doing so well. Mami, I know. But what do you expect. I got to hang out with morons like these two. Okay? Bye... Let's go.

Armando: Morons like us, eh, my brother?

Luis: Aye, you know how mami is.

Armando: What, like a woman who has been abandoned by her children?

Luis: Que?

Armando: Look look look look look - I know you think we small, I know you think we ain't shit - but that's why I hit you up man.

Luis: Why?

Armando: Because we got something real coming down.

Luis: Yeah, the last time we had something real coming down, I did two years.

Armando: Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence by telling you shit is gonna be different now. But it is.

Henrique: It is.

Armando: Come on trust me... Let's go.

Dialogue

Armando: Business is going down in East Hook, bro. Get us over there.

or:

Armando: We got a meeting set up over in East Hook. Can you drive us?

Luis: Yo Mando, Rique, I'm serious about this, man. You need to get out of this place; make something of yourselves.

Armando: Easy for you to say Dom Juan. I don't get your problem with the neighborhood. The Heights ain't all bad, bro.

Luis: Oh yeah. Sure it ain't man, How many kids from out class stuck around up here? None that did anything. Them punks Oscar, Willy and Alonso did and look where they at.

Armando: Fuck them. You had some good times here. Don't forget about that shit. Remember the summer of '99?

Luis: Yeah I do, it was like damn hot that year wasn't it?

Henrique: Hot as shit up here in '99.

Armando: And we started getting in that Vespucci University toto? Remember that?

Luis: Nothing quit like college girls.

Armando: Even Rique got him some, didn't he?

Luis: Yo, shit, that librarian girl.

Armando: Fucked the glasses right off her nose.

Henrique: Hu hu hu hu. I sure did.

Luis: Yo, A, everybody gotta grow up someday.

Armando: Not if you live next to a college, you don't. Them bitches stay the same age your whole life.

Luis: True bro, but that's not what I meant.

Armando: I know. Shit. How them Gomez boys anyway, Luis?

Luis: Hey, you know I don't see them dumb fucks no more.

Armando: Five-O think you do.

Henrique: Five-O asking us about you and them all the time.

Armando: "You seen Luis Lopez up here with the Gomez boys?"

Henrique: "You seen Mr. Luis Fernando Lopez associating with Willy Valero?""

Armando: It's like they obsessed.

Luis: Yeah man, you get bagged with a couple of punks it's like you associated with them for the rest of your life. Five-O's dumb, fucking useless bro. No wonder crime's outta control in this city.

Armando: I can think of a few other reasons too.

Luis: Speaking of crime, bro, what the fuck are we doing here?

Armando: Me and Rique got a new package. Shit's good enough for us to start seriously stepping on shit and making some real profit.

Henrique: Product then profit then pussy: 'P .P .P.' That how it works, bro.

Luis: Sure it does, Rique. Can you remind me why I'm coming along on a motherfucking dope deal? I don't touch that shit no more, man. I got a legitimate source of income.

Armando: Chill out, bro. We just having a final meet with the guy to smooth out some details. It would really help if we had a respectable punk like you along.

Luis: Yo this is just for appearances right? You sure?

Armando: Yo. Sure. I'm sure. Just for appearances. We shaking hands with the man is all. Nothing incriminatory.

Luis: Fuck, bro. Okay. Okay. Only 'cause I love you guys. You should know that.

Henrique: Shit, Mando. You right.

Armando: What?

Henrique: The big queen really has groomed this foot. He gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

Luis: Fuck you, bro.

(Armando gives Luis an Automatic Shotgun and grenades)

Armando: Heavy armament be the best ways to dissuade foolish cats from action. Take an auto shottie and some grenades, L.

or:

Armando: Yo, L, you may as well be prepared for some shit. Take hold of this Auto shottie and these pineapples.

Armando: Strap up, bros. An auto shottie and some grenades for peace of mind.

Luis: Yo, thanks. Really makes me confident this is gonna be a nice peaceful chat.

or:

Luis: I'd like to see how you guys strap up when you think the exchange ain't gonna be civil.

Luis: Just what we need for a friendly tête-à-tête.

(The three arrive in East Hook)

Armando: He meeting us in here. Come on.

or:

Armando: Papi up here, bro.

Papi: Fucking cocksuckers.

Armando: Papi! What's up, man?

Papi: Mi hermano. What's good?

Armando: Chilling bro.

Papi: Aiight.

Henrique: Papi, what's up?

Papi: What's up baby? Yo, but who's this clown right here?

Luis: Yo, be easy, bro.

Armando: Whoa whoa whoa whoa. This is Luis Lopez. He's our boy.

Luis: Yo, you got to say my name, bro?

Armando: Luis, you don't got to worry about shit. Papi's a businessman. Legit.

Henrique: He's our connection, bro.

Armando: Purest package in town.

Papi: You know I got that raw baby, you already know.

Armando: To a fruitful relationship.

Papi: What the fuck? That's sirens, yo. You, motherfucker, you set me up, huh? You were followed, right?

Luis: We wasn't, were you baby?

Henrique: What's going on, bro? What's going on?

Armando: They must have got in our phones.

Papi: Yo, fuck that, you fucking amateurs. I'm outta here, man.

(Papi flees while Luis, Armando, and Henrique combat the LCPD and NOOSE)

Armando: We got to get through five-O if we gonna make it out of here.

or:

Armando: Shit! We need to shoot our way out of here.

Armando: Backs against the wall, bro. It's us or them.

Luis: The cops were on your phones? How the fuck you know that?

Armando: I heard some clicking, bro. I shoulda picked it.

Luis: Anything else these guys gonna know from your phone conversations?

Armando: It was a burner, bro. No details, just time and place.

Luis: I hope they don't pick up your connect, bro. He knows my name.

Armando: That guy knows how to run. They ain't touching him.

Henrique: You ain't going back inside, K. We look after you.

Luis: Oh yeah, thanks, H.

Armando: So much for the package, Rique.

Henrique: Package don't mean shit if we get our asses shot off or incarcerated. Let's get outta here.

Henrique: The civilian coping alright, ain't he, A?

Armando: Yo. So much for the redemption. It's all fucking bullshit.

Luis: Remind me about this bullshit the next time you tell me you got something "real" will you?

Armando: This shit's about as "real" as it gets. Give us that.

Henrique: Sorry, L. We didn't mean to get you into this shit.

Luis: Just help me get out of it, Rique. That's all I need.

Luis: Yo, man, Five-O even got any evidence on us here?

Armando: I don't know if they did before, but they do now.

Henrique: Five-O got something against us, man. This discrimination.

Luis: You the one shooting at them, H. Looks to me like they got legitimate beef.

Luis: Stay off my boys.

Luis: I ain't getting caught up in another narco bust. Fuck!

Luis: Not again.

Luis: Shit. Shit. Shit. You assholes.

Luis: These boys ain't going down.

Luis: Oh man. You fucking have to?

Luis: Fuckin' five-O. Shit.

Luis: Back off!

Henrique: You assholes.

Henrique: This be discriminatory.

Henrique: We didn't do shit.

Henrique: Five-O be bitches.

Henrique: You don't know us.

Henrique: I don't like cops.

Henrique: I don't even got no phone.

Henrique: Fuck off five-O.

Armando: Five-O fuckers.

Armando: Phone tapping motherfuckers.

Armando: This game's rigged.

Armando: Fuck off five-O.

Armando: You don't got shit on us.

Armando: You fucking everywhere.

Armando: Back down, bitches.

Armando: I ain't going back.

Armando: Fuck you, copper.

(The three come across a dead end)

Armando: Rique! We got a wall, bro. Do something about it.

or:

Armando: Demolition! We got us a dead end. You ready?

Henrique: Ain't gonna be there much longer, bro.

or:

Henrique: Here come the wrecking ball.

(Henrique blows the wall up)

Armando: Nice work, bro.

or:

Armando: Fuck yeah, H!

Armando: Flying colors, Rique.

(The three run through the hole and run into more NOOSE)

Armando: We moving.

or:

Armando: We ain't staying still. Come on.

Armando: Go go go. Let's do it.

Armando: We got to go.

Armando: What we waiting for? Come on.

Armando: Come on then.

Armando: Let's get out of here.

(An Annihilator arrives)

Henrique: The Airborne Cav's here.

or:

Henrique: Shit. They sent the Annihilator in.

Henrique: Motherfucking Annihilator!

Armando: Yo L, we holding these guys. Get behind the car and take out the NOOSE guys on the roof.

or:

Armando: You got to get behind that car and deal with those NOOSE boys on the roof, L. Me and H is holding here.

Armando: Them guys on the roof is yours, L. Get behind the car and handle them. Me and Rique will hold position.

(Luis kills the NOOSE on the roof and reinforcements arrive)

Armando: We got to get through here.

or:

Armando: Fuck. We got to get through these bitches.

Armando: Five-O trying to take us down. Get through them.

Armando: Get through these coppers!

Armando: These cops is in our way.

Armando: We got to clear these fucks out, bro.

(The three kill the NOOSE and attempt to escape)

Armando: Shit. Let's get in that car and go.

or:

Armando: There's a ride. Come on, bros.

Armando: Let's get the fuck out of here. Come on.

(The three try to get into it but the doors are locked and an Annihilator arrives)

Luis: We got a minor problem with this door. Hold on.

or:

Luis: Gimme a second with this thing...

Luis: Wait. This might take me a minute.

Henrique: The chopper's back. Get out of here.

or:

Henrique: We ain't got no time. Run!

Henrique: Annihilator's back! Run!

Armando: This thing is holding us down, bro. Check that motherfucking NOOSE van. See if they got something that can help.

or:

Armando: We ain't moving with that thing there. See if there's something we can take it out with in that NOOSE van.

Armando: How the fuck we gonna get rid of this thing? Check the NOOSE van, K. They might be something in there.

(Luis obtains a rocket launcher from the NOOSE van)

Luis: Fuck me, bro. The NOOSE is some well equipped motherfuckers.

or:

Luis: Who'd a thought the NOOSE would be packing one of these.

Armando: Take it down, bro.

or:

Armando: Sink that shit.

Armando: Turn they own weaponry against them, bro.

(Luis destroys the Annihilator)

Armando: Alright, we better scram back to the Heights now.

or:

Armando: Fuck, bro. We better not hang around. Let's get back to Northwood.

Armando: Okay. Let's get back to the Heights.

(The three head back to Northwood)

Luis: So much for that package of yours.

Henrique: Whole load of work for nothing, bro. Fuck!

Luis: Yo Armando, you got to be careful of them phones, man. People are onto that shit. The Jingoism Act, that shit means they can pretty much read your thoughts now and get away with it.

Armando: Thanks for the lecture, professor. I didn't know a two year stretch qualified you to teach Street Life 101.

Luis: Yeah, I ain't lecturing I'm just looking out for my boys.

Henrique: Ain't that what you do at them clubs of yours?

Armando: He looks out for boys in tight denim shorts.

Luis: Oh, wow, we back there again?

Armando: Luis bro, you want us to come downtown to lecture you on interior decoration?

Henrique: Or Boulevard musicals?

Armando: Or sucking cock?

Henrique: I don't think you do.

Luis: Oh yeah sabes que. Now that you mention it, I could do with some dick sucking lessons. I hear you nailed your technique on that last bid upstate, A.

Armando: We was just close friends. Whatever anyone told you is fucking bullshit, man. Fucking bullshit! He's a good guy, got three kids.

Luis: I think we hit a nerve.

Henrique: Someone misses their cellmate! Ohh weeee.

Armando: Fuck you, both of you!

Luis: I don't see why you guys are giving me shit. You was the ones who asked me to come along on this thing.

Henrique: We asked you along to look pretty.

Armando: We didn't know shit was gonna fuck up.

Luis: Well shit did fuck up and I nearly got killed so I think I earned the right to be heard for a second.

Henrique: Ohhhhhh! Luis got his panties in a twist.

Armando: Speak your peace, bro.

Luis: Look. As you say, I ain't an expert in this shit, but I do run a business.

Armando: You run Tony's shit, do you? Where's the money then?

Luis: You gonna listen to me or what? You never going to get anywhere if you guys are the ones selling on the corner. There's enough chumps out there to do that work for you. Just get involved in the high level shit. And never talk on the motherfucking phone.

Armando: That all well and good, bro. But selling ain't our issue. It's getting hold of product.

Luis: What are you talking about? There's product all over the city. Just take it off motherfuckers.

Henrique: Steal that shit?

Luis: They ain't exactly gonna call up five-O are they?

Armando: You could be right, bro. Other than this shipment we being paid to oversee, there ain't nothing else coming in for us. We might just have to start ripping people off. You gonna help us?

Luis: Yo, man. I don't know. I could do with the money but you boys is clowns.

Henrique: Luis back on board, bro. I know it.

(The three arrive in Northwood)

Armando: Thanks, bro. You know I hate to ask this now you all Johnny lawful and shit, but me and Rique are gonna need to do some serious work if we gonna maintain shit on these streets. We could use someone we can trust.

Luis: Yo. You now I said I wouldn't get involved in that no more. I'll have to think about it, bro.

Henrique: Thanks, Luis. We'll see you soon, yeah.

Alternate dialogue

Luis: Hit me with it then.

Armando: Hit you with what? I ain't dickslapping you, homo.

Luis: Shut up you fucking idiot. What's this "real" shit than ain't nothing all like the other "real" shit that got my ass locked up? Tell me.

Armando: What's that attitude for, bro? We don't want your help if you going to be all self righteous and shit.

Henrique: Don't condescend on us, bro.

Armando: Yeah. Don't condescend at us. Especially since prison was a good thing for you.

Henrique: Be thankful for that, L. You came out a changed man.

Armando: Luis Lopez - poster child for rehabilitation. That shit worked on you.

Henrique: You met Tony in that prison outreach program, too. From there on it was all up for you.

Armando: Yeah, bro. That was the moment when you put down the gun and picked up the pork sword.

Luis: Unfortunately, I ain't no poster child. I'm still hanging out with degenerates like you, ain't I? And, it ain't exactly like Tony's operation is always completely above board.

Armando: Yeah, dick sucking's well below board. You right.

Luis: Yo, enough with the gay jokes, you moron. For once, give me a break.

Armando: Shit! Alright. Alright!

Henrique: Damn. Luis mad.

Luis: So, again, what the fuck are we doing?

Armando: Chill, bro. We meeting a new business associate. It's taken me and Rique a long time to get in with this guy. He gonna start selling us weight on a large enough scale, with a good enough purity so we gonna be able to roll with your rich friends. Wouldn't that be nice?

Luis: This package sounds too good to be true, A. What this fool want to be running with low rate corner boys like you for?

Armando: We got us a rep now. Eventually if you put in the hours...

Henrique: And we sure as shit put in the hours, bro.

Luis: Good for you guys, but what's this got to do with me?

Armando: We, ummmm... we need to put out a public face. This deal ain't completely worked through and we thought it might look good having you along.

Henrique: Don't let it go to your head, L, but you look like you mean business.

Armando: Looks can be deceiving.

Henrique: He looks like a balla, but the only balls he plays with are Tony's!

Luis: Rique, man. I told you to cut it out.

Henrique: Sorry, bro. Couldn't resist.

Luis: Alright. I'll meet this motherfucker for you. Damn.

(Luis drives Armando and Henrique back to Northwood)

Luis: Shit! You all alright, bros? No severe injuries back there?

Henrique: I'm cool, L. I thought for a second they mighta shot my freaking balls off.

Armando: That wasn't blood running down your leg, bro. You just wet yourself.

Henrique: I pissed myself, did I. You the one who couldn't hold it in in Mrs. Lebowitz's class?

Armando: Fuck you. That was third grade.

Luis: Oh shit! You did, didn't you? I wouldn't go making no piss jokes, A.

Armando: Mrs. Lebowitz? Didn't you go back and screw that bitch, L?

Luis: Fuck you. You insane? She was our third grade teacher.

Henrique: Luis fucked Miss Adams, we had her in eighth.

Luis: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. What can I say man, I was the star pupil.

Armando: You was a victim of child abuse, you sick fuck.

Henrique: I'd let that bitch abuse the shit outta me right now. Oh yeah.

Luis: Alright bro, I was young. I was stupid. But more importantly you getting any toto yourself at the moment?

Armando: Sure am. Nice little girl by the name of Carmen Ortiz, lives out in SO BO.

Luis: Ortiz? Shit, how come I know that name? She a nurse?

Armando: Yeah. Yeah. You know her?

Luis: Shit. Yeah. Ummm... we had this thing about a year ago. She kinda nasty, bro.

Henrique: Shit. Sorry, A.

Armando: Yo, man, that don't mean nothing. What you know about women anyway? Carmen's sweet.

Henrique: Yo, A, I... ummm... I'm not sure about that.

Armando: What do you mean?

Henrique: I fucked her too, bro. She pretty nasty.

Luis: Damn. You too, Rique? Fuck.

Armando: Who hasn't had this piece of ass?

Henrique: I had to cut that girl loose, bro. You're lucky I did, otherwise you wouldn't be getting shit right now.

Luis: Business as usual then.

Armando: Screw the both of you.

Other dialogue

(If Luis gets a wanted level)

Armando: We can't meet no connect with a police escort. We got to lose these fucks.

Armando: Papi ain't gonna stick around if we got this attention. We need to lose it.

Armando: It ain't gonna look good if we bring cops to the meet, bro. Ditch them.

(If Luis strays too far from Armando and Henrique)

Armando: You leaving us? Don't fuck around.

Armando: Where you going, man?

Armando: Get back here, L.

Failing the mission

Armando dies

Henrique: Shit, bro. Mando. Who gonna tell his moms?

Luis: I'll do that, bro. You better lay low. Cops might want to ask you questions when they identify him.

Henrique dies

Armando: What the fuck, man. We was always meant to protect that dumb bastard.

Luis: Putting him to work on a corner don't seem much like protecting him to me man. I'm out.

Armando: At least I didn't abandon him for some rich downtown assholes. Fuck off.

Armando's car destroyed

Henrique: That wasn't good, bro. I thought we was gonna be rich after today.

Luis: Yo, H, I'm sorry, but life don't quite work that way. Stay safe, okay?