The Worst University in America: Difference between revisions
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Luckily, help is at hand, from a new practical Dean of Studies who has revolutionized the college's approach in a way he believes will become a benchmark for all under-performing education establishments in the US. [[Dean Smegley]] comments, "It's out with the old and in with the new. We did away with old ways of measuring students abilities and old-fashioned classes. Nobody reads no more so why should our students? This is a college, not a prison, yo. We've changed what we make students study and how we grade them, so kids can get out of this place with knowing what they want to happily attempt next up. We got the kids doing practical things, like pharmaceutical baking, so they can make a dollar and we mark them not for effort or performance, but on how bad they look in class." | Luckily, help is at hand, from a new practical Dean of Studies who has revolutionized the college's approach in a way he believes will become a benchmark for all under-performing education establishments in the US. [[Dean Smegley]] comments, "It's out with the old and in with the new. We did away with old ways of measuring students abilities and old-fashioned classes. Nobody reads no more so why should our students? This is a college, not a prison, yo. We've changed what we make students study and how we grade them, so kids can get out of this place with knowing what they want to happily attempt next up. We got the kids doing practical things, like pharmaceutical baking, so they can make a dollar and we mark them not for effort or performance, but on how bad they look in class." | ||
Using these new methods, an LCCC student can learn grill management, coatroom politics and economics, and running mechanical elevation devices from the consumer perspectives (elevators and escalators counting as two classes), while a student who wears a hot outfit is pretty much guaranteed an A. "A girl in a skimpy top, with her bra straps showing, or some real tight pants, she'll definitely get a scholarship, while some dude with a pair of trousers so baggy he can't work properly will be recommended for graduate work," continued Smegley. And using this new system, LCCC makes a swift rise up the rankings, from last place to 34th in the country. "Within two years, I expect our students to be the best dressed, least qualified in the country," said Smegley proudly. Another great [[Liberty City]] innovation! | Using these new methods, an LCCC student can learn grill management, coatroom politics and economics, and running mechanical elevation devices from the consumer perspectives (elevators and escalators counting as two classes), while a student who wears a hot outfit is pretty much guaranteed an A. "A girl in a skimpy top, with her bra straps showing, or some real tight pants, she'll definitely get a scholarship, while some dude with a pair of trousers so baggy he can't work properly will be recommended for graduate work," continued Smegley. And using this new system, LCCC makes a swift rise up the rankings, from last place to 34th in the country. "Within two years, I expect our students to be the best dressed, least qualified in the country," said Smegley proudly. Another great [[Liberty City in GTA III Era|Liberty City]] innovation! | ||
==External Link== | ==External Link== | ||
*[http://www.rockstargames.com/libertytree/jun2001/story4.html Liberty City Community College: THE WORST UNIVERSITY IN AMERICA article] | *[http://www.rockstargames.com/libertytree/jun2001/story4.html Liberty City Community College: THE WORST UNIVERSITY IN AMERICA article] | ||
[[Category:Liberty Tree Articles]] | [[Category:Liberty Tree Articles]] | ||