Jizzy (mission)/Script

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The following is a script for the Jizzy mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.


Wu Zi Mu: That's crazy, man. What are we looking at exactly?

(Carl enters)

Carl Johnson: Hey man, you get them flicks developed? W'sup, Woozie!

Wu Zi Mu: Hey Carl. I was just explaining to your... brother in law that we were friends.

Carl Johnson: Oh yeah? Well look, Woozie, I need to get some info from you, man.

Wu Zi Mu: What exactly do you boys want to know?

Cesar Vialpando: Who are these putas, holmes?

Wu Zi Mu: (to Guppy) Why don't you go take a look?

(Guppy looks at the photos.)

Guppy: These guys?

Cesar Vialpando: Yeah.

Guppy: They're the Loco Syndicate. They're pretty big time, I think. Don't have any dealings with them - we don't touch blow.

(Guppy points to each photo in turn.)

Guppy: Now this guy runs things. I don't know his name. This guy is T-Bone Mendez. He's the muscle.

Cesar: And who's that guy?

Guppy: That's Jizzy B. He's the biggest pimp in town. He helps set up the deals... You know, a concierge of sorts.

Carl Johnson: Hey, then he's my way in. How I get to him?

Wu Zi Mu: Oh, Jizzy? Jizzy runs the Pleasure Domes Club in that old fortress under the Gant Bridge.

Carl Johnson: Hey, good looking out, Woozie.

Wu Zi Mu: No problem. Don't be a stranger!

(Carl arrives at the Pleasure Domes.)

Jizzy B.: See, baby, I got everything... Mink sheets... Mink coats... Mink curtains in the window. When I walk down the stairs I'm walking down on... Mink carpet. Now who's this trick? I don't need no more friends, baby. All they try to do is peel me from my hos.

Carl Johnson: No, no, it ain't about them. It's all about you, playa. I heard you was the man with the hook up, and you was the man I needed to see. I'm offering my services.

Jizzy B.: Say what?

Carl Johnson: Yes, sir. See, I'm new in town. Anything you want, I can do. For a guy like me, to work with, to work FOR, a guy like Jizzy B, well...

Jizzy B.: Now that you mention it, I do have a slight problem. Something a little dumb muscle like yourself might be able to fix. 'Cause you see me, I'm an intellectual. Bitches, y'all walk on down to the bar and fix a pimp a drink. See I only got two eyes, and on these streets you got to have more than that. You got to be like a fly on shit, you know? A hundred eyes, everywhere. Now some lunatic been fucking with my bitches. Mother-fucker killed two last week. I want you... Go find out.

Carl Johnson: No prob. I'm a playa partner now, Jizzy.

(As Carl leaves Jizzy catches up with him)

Jizzy B.: Wait up, Mr. C-to-the-J! See that pretty young thang in my car? Drop her off at the hotel Downtown. Use my car-phone to gimme a ring-a-ding when you're done. And watch the rims, playa! Treat that baby like the Pope Mobile!

(While driving to the hotel)

Girl #1: Ooh! What a strong pecho! Ever had half-n-half with a sucia like me?

Carl Johnson: Yeah, go on.

Girl #1: I'll do things your ruca won't.

Carl Johnson: I'm listening, honest!

Girl #1: I'm no slut but I need the feria.

Carl Johnson: Uh huh, real interesting.

Girl #1: Whatever, puto.

(Carl drops the girl off)

Girl #1: Later, ese.

Carl Johnson: Hey Jizzy, it's Carl, I just dropped off your girl.

Jizzy B.: Church! Got a little errand for you to run before you deal with that problem I was just talking about. Some young buck thinks he's a playa, been trying to peel my hos over in Hashbury. Now one of my girls over there just eyeballed the punk, I want you to get your ass over there and ice that pretender!

(Carl arrives at Hashbury)

Girl #2: Here comes my playa, now you're in real trouble.

Rival pimp: Man, I ain't got time for you!

(Carl kills the rival pimp)

Carl Johnson: Hey, it's CJ. Just to let you know you don't have to worry about no competition in Hashbury.

Jizzy B.: Worry? Did I say I was worried? No I did not. Now to the real deal. Some of my girls in the Foster Valley been getting knuckled over. I want you to get your ass up there and nose around - find out what's going on.

(Carl kills the guys attacking Jizzy's girl.)

Carl Johnson: Mr. Jizzy, it's CJ.

Jizzy B.: You is a bad luck charm, clucky! That girl you dropped off Downtown wants out of the game! Her sugar daddy wants to take her off the streets! Nobody turns my hos! Now you get your ass back to the hotel, and you make an example out of all of 'em!

(Carl arrives at the hotel.)

Preacher: The Lord sent me to save your thread-bear soul, harlot! Get in the car and remove your filthy vestments, so I my better gaze upon thine corruption! Driver, get us out of here before the devil's right hand snatches this po' girl from salvation!

Driver: Right away, your evangelical holiness!

(Carl kills the preacher and the girl.)

Carl Johnson: Everything's been taken care of, Mr. Jizzy!

Jizzy: Oh, CJ, you's a playa's right hand, baby. Oh, and by the way - that car's just come up over on an APB. Dump it, keep it, whatever. Just keep it away from me, my hos, and my club!

Carl Johnson: Oh, for sure, you got that, man.