Complications/Aftermath

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This page details the in-game effects after completing the mission Complications.

Rewards

After completing the mission Michael De Santa and the De Santa House are unlocked to the player, as well as Michael's Tailgater, Amanda's Sentinel and Tracey's Issi. The BeeJay XL repossessed by Franklin Clinton can also be taken. The missions Paparazzo and Shift Work are unlocked for Franklin, and Father/Son, Grass Roots - Michael and Exercising Demons - Michael are unlocked for Michael. Hobby activities (the Ammu-Nation shooting range, going to the cinema, playing golf and tennis, going to a strip club and riding the fairground rides) become available. A new episode of Fame or Shame is available to watch on their website.

Phone call

Lamar Davis to Franklin Clinton

Lamar Davis: Say again! How the fuck we get fired?

Franklin Clinton: Man, it was partly all that bullshit you pulled… and partly this repo's old man making me crash the car into the dealership.

Lamar Davis: You the crazy-ass motherfucker in this partnership. You better spend ‘em while you got 'em.

Franklin Clinton: Yeah, if you say so.

Text message

Amanda De Santa to Michael De Santa

Amanda De Santa: Michael you bought that court but never use it. My grip and ball control has def improved. Coach is V hard on me. Xx

Email

Isiah Friedlander to Michael De Santa
DrFriedlander@eyefind.info

Progress – and you’ll see results.
Dear Michael,
Very good seeing you yesterday. I want to stress how important it is that we continue therapy. We are on the point of a major breakthrough in your treatment. It's a fascinating process. When it seems pointless and exploitative is when therapy works the most! Life isn't meaningless. You're deeply troubled but together we can make you a functioning member of society. You keep taking the medication, continue to read the books I gave you and really try to understand what is causing these temper outbursts. We'll crack you yet, amigo! We're n this together. As you know, I really enjoy working together – you're a fascinating man, Michael, but I'm afraid medicine in this country is not a charity, and with that in mind, I am afraid I am going to put my rates up again. Only by 75% which I think is very reasonable given the stresses and strains of my work.
Yours,
Isiah Friedlander


Response

Doc… I don't know… I feel this crap ain't working for me. I'm just crazy and I don't feel like myself. One moment I'm calm, the next I'm crazy. I just don't know what to do.

You rates? Again? Wow
-Michael


Response

DrFriedlander@eyefind.info

RE:RE:Progress – and you’ll see results.
Dear Michael,
Keep practicing those breathing exercises and stop looking for people to blame. Come and see me soon.
Yours,
Isiah Friedlander


News articles

Weston goes into showbusiness.

Public Liberty Online - Gavin Mason

Los Santos's most prominent financial guru and investor Devin Weston made a typically unexpected move yesterday. Just as conventional wisdom is moving out of movies in general and Vinewood studios in particular, Mr Weston bough a significant stake in legendary 'mini major' Richards Majestic. Founded in 1929 current head honcho, Solomon Richards' late father David, Richards Majestic has endured turbulent times as a string of remakes, rom coms and super hero pictures have bombed at the box office. The result – Richards Majestic, the last true independent film studio – is now at least in part, under the ownership of a man who knows how to make money, if not movies. Mr. Weston told our reporter "I could not be happier. I love this town and now I've finally made an investment in its biggest industry. Richards Majestic has two movies currently in production; "Meltdown" and "Deep Inside". We expect to make money with both. I couldn't hope to learn from a better teacher than Solomon Richards, but Im also hoping he can learn a thing or two from me."


Big Brother in your bathroom?

Public Liberty Online - Gavin Mason

A new online feture by Internet search juggernaut Eyefind has some privacy experts concerned. Eyefind Street Maps uses thermal and high resonance imaging to scan every house inside and out as an Eyefind truck travels down the street. High resolution images of the inside of your home are then viewable for anyone to see. "I like it," says Mindy Thompson. "It lets all your friends see what your place looks like." The online outcry has been from so called privacy experts. Liberal lawmakers heralded the move. "This is another great example of how Eyefind has successfully monetized our private information. They've taken every TV, film, song and even pictures of the inside of our homes and monetized it for their gain. It's a true American success story," said Representative Richard Eggers.


Rash of ARM robberies.

Daily Rag - David Christian

Citizens and visitors to Los Santos are being warned to stay on the alert after a spate of violent robberies at ATMs across the city. The LSPD is urging people to scan the surrounding area for suspicious characters before approaching an ATM. "We certainly do not want to encourage profiling", said police spokesman Lee Whitless, "but we would advise people to use cautious prejudice; you know, hide it behind a smile, the liberal way."


Joyrider smashes into cars dealership in Pillbox Hill.

Los Santos Shepherd - Makayla Taylor

Traffic accidents are common enough in Los Santos. Traffic accidents involving parked cars are not uncommon. Traffic accidents involving cars parked inside a dealership are still unusual, however, but that is just what happened yesterday in Pillbox Hill. A deranged or possibly drunk joyrider drove his car straight into the showroom of Premium Deluxe Motorsport. The owner, Mr Simeon Yetarian, was injured in the accident, but the driver fled the scene before cops could get there. Mr Yetarian told our reporter "I am a well known philanthropist and charity worker as well as an excellent car dealer. Therefore I can only say it is greatly unfortunate that a chubby alcoholic would consider my showroom an acceptable place to crash his car. I am hoping given all the work I do in the community and especially for race relations that the city will me pay for the damage." A spokesman for the city commented "we have no comment at this time."


Lifeinvader

Franklin Clinton's page

  • Lamar Davis: Thanks again for getting us fired! Last time you get up my face about making dumb moves.
  • Tavell Clinton: I never seen so many crazy deathwish drivers in Liberty City – you'd fir right in here!

Lamar Davis' page

  • Jamal Reynolds: If u got that girl's digits last night she musta given you them in brail.
  • Simeon Yetarian: All I did for you! You can blame Franklin for blowing your only chance at escaping the ghetto and making a career for yourself in automobile industry. I am glad I withheld your commission now – it will go towards repairing my showroom!
  • Leon@VanillaUnicorn: Aint seen you at the club for a while??? Must be why the girls are all so happy and disease free recently!
  • Lamar Davis: Got Chop stoned and now he busting out the disco leg!

Simeon Yetarian's page

  • Sacha Yetarian: I tried to warn you about Franklin and Lamar, Uncle. Will you reconsider my proposal to create an Assistant Manager position within Premium Deluxe Motorsport?
  • Simeon Yetarian: My showroom vandalized by an employee I treated like a son! Once again I pay the price for offering impoverished youth a chance at a new life!
  • Anak Horozian: You have to do something about Sacha's twitch. It is like he is trying to bite his own ear off.

Michael De Santa's page

  • Jimmy De Santa: Minor emergency. No food in the house. Taken car and credit card. Later on.
  • Amanda De Santa: Answer your phone Michael! If you're banging a stripper again!
  • Hayden Dubose: Great looking at the yacht with you buddy. Hope you didn't mind me tagging along. She's a beauty. "Jacqueline" Bet there's a story there :)
  • Kyle Chavis: Just so there's no confusion Mrs De Santa was already passed out when I arrived for the session today. I don't need another one of those court cases!
  • Jimmy De Santa: Do you ever find it a little weird being a grown man with no friends?
  • Tracey De Santa: Do you feel good about yourself now? Why do you have to scare off every guy that shows any interest in me? We were only cuddling. Thanks for ruining my only chance at happiness AGAIN.
  • Amanda De Santa: Will you clean the juicer after you use it?
  • Hayden Dubose: How's the day trading going? I had another double-digit month!
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Smoke your way out of the economic crisis with Redwood. The cigarette that built America.
  • Amanda De Santa: Just test drove the new Pegassi. Sooooooo ME! We can't be fully maxed on the 'mortgage', right?
  • Kyle Chavis: So when am I going to get you out on the court, bud? I hear you were quite the high school athlete.
  • Tracey De Santa: If you keep refusing to pay for my modeling portfolio I'll have to get them on the cheap with some shady backalley type. Is that what you want?
  • Hayden Dubose: Thanks for loaning us your maid and for being such a good neighbor (you can imagine what I first thought when I heard the "De Santas" were moving in!) I owe you a beer some time.
  • Kyle Chavis: Sorry to trouble you Mr De Santa but I'm still waiting on last week's money. $450 (including overtime)
  • Amanda De Santa: Stop flicking cigar butts in the flower beds!
  • Hayden Dubose: So apparently my wife wants to switch to the same pool boy Amanda uses? Can you pass on contact details?
  • Jimmy De Santa: Go on, update your status, dad, prove you can operate the internet.
  • Amanda De Santa: How much is that smarmy shrink of yours again? Because you need a refund, Psycho.
  • Hayden Dubose: Thanks for lending me that Rum Runner movie. There's something about that girl in the wheelchair...
  • Jimmy De Santa: I've been souting from my room for like 10 minutes now but nobody's answering. Are you home? Can you bring me another soda?
  • Amanda De Santa: Call me when you regain consciousness. I love that you get at me about daytime drinking. Major pot kettle.
  • Jimmy De Santa: I watched that many wives of alfredo smith movie like you said. It sucks massive dongs.
  • Amanda De Santa: Thanks for forgetting our anniversary again.
  • Kyle Chavis: Mrs De Santa is really making great progress with her long strokes
  • Tracey De Santa: I don't know who pervs my friends more you or Jimmy
  • Tracey De Santa: 5 Lifeinvader friends? That is so tragic I don't even know where to start.
  • Hayden Dubose: Keep leaving you voicemails about golf - anyone would think you were ignoring me, neighbor :)
  • Jimmy De Santa: Do you even know how to use this, old man?
  • Jimmy De Santa: I'm sorry about the shady lease but was it really necessary to destroy the car? And can I get another one? Maybe by tomorrow? Got plans that’s all thx.

Amanda De Santa's page

  • Amanda De Santa: New Gammi Forapundo handbag. Best $3000 Michael ever spent.
  • Amanda De Santa: I love the way that maid looks at me like I'm the help. Yeah, well if you want vacation pay, senora, declare some taxes.
  • Amanda De Santa: I think I went a little overboard with the bleaching. Hope I can sit down ok for my hair appointment.
  • Jimmy De Santa: I'm in my room, can't get to phone. Ate a whole bag of cake batter, might need a medic.
  • Fiona Larsson: You and Mike wanna come over for fondu at the weekend? Or is he still in a mood?
  • Sandra Carelli: Just bumped into Tracey. She is SO like you!
  • Sandra Carelli: I got your voicemail. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend you with the Tracey comment.
  • Fabien Larouche: Did you speak to you husband about signing up for another 6 private classes? For you, just $2000!
  • Amanda De Santa: Stinks of weed in this house!
  • Peter Kerr: Any oddjobs need doing again this summer, Mrs De Santa? I've got my driving license now.
  • Amanda De Santa: The doctor says that Jimm's 'rash' is from over friction.
  • Fabien LaRouche: Let me walk you along the path to your sacred place.
  • Amanda De Santa: Where did I go wrong with my kids? Actually, don't answer that.
  • Amanda De Santa: How many drunk Rockford Hills women does it take to change a lightbulb? Six & 3 cute firemen! Lightbulb stil needs changing, btw :)
  • Amanda De Santa: Stripper workout class at the gym - nailed it!
  • Amanda De Santa: Those bastards messed up myprescription again! I will destroy them!
  • Amanda De Santa: My gyno just asked if I sent Tracey in by mistake - love that guy!
  • Keri Barker: Credit card wars on Portola Drive tomorrow?
  • Amanda De Santa: I seriously think Jimmy might be a bulimic who's forgotten to purge
  • Dr. Stanovicz: I'm concerned. We haven't scheduled you for a procedure in over six months. If you aren't unhappy with the last wave of collagen work, please let me know. I'd be happy to discuss some alternatives.
  • Amanda De Santa: Has anyone done this POW Cleanse? www.thepowcleanse.com
  • Fabien LaRouche: Do not fear the unknown. Be the now. Namaste.
  • Amanda De Santa: A daughter staring at a phone, a son staring at a game, a husband staring a TV - and they're all stoned. Just another Tuesday morning at the De Santas.
  • Kyle Chavis: That's a killer forehand you're developing, Mrs De Santa! Same time next week?
  • Lisa Barclay: Where did you get your breasts done again?
  • Amanda De Santa: This guy Gary that Tracey is seeing is the definition of a loser. He makes Jimmy look like a gigolo.
  • Kyle Chavis: Great session today. Always a pleasure working with you. And I WILL call you Amanda :)

Jimmy De Santa's page

  • Jimmy De Santa: Me and my friends were just discussing how you look like a bald anemic sloth
  • Jimmy De Santa: When the door's locked, you knock! How difficult is that for my parents to understand?
  • Tracey De Santa: Why do yuo always look like you've just been swimming in duck fat?
  • Jimmy De Santa: Biggest shit ever dude! Almost broke the bowl!
  • Colin Easton: You roast rump
  • Jimmy De Santa: Where do the days go? I don't know how employed people find the time.
  • Jimmy De Santa: You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up thinking you finished all the nachos last night only to realize there's still half a bag.
  • Tracey De Santa: for a kid with learning difficulties you sure picked up masturbation fast
  • Jimmy De Santa: Any of you pussies want to get pounded on Army of Menace 3????
  • Amy Turner: By the way, that thing you found in my drawer was a back massager
  • Jimmy De Santa: You know what time it is! Slaughter time!
  • Jimmy De Santa: Why does my third grade teacher still call my mom all the time?
  • Amy Turner: Stop phoning me or I'll call the police.
  • Jimmy De Santa: I hate it when my dad tries to act like he's my friend. No, I don't "want to throw a ball around", Mike.
  • Evan Arnold: Can I get my cope of 'Ass ist gud ja' back now?
  • Jimmy De Santa: I honestly think I might have the most dysfunctional family in America
  • Colin Easton: Your mom makes me feel funny in my pants
  • Jay Wallace: How is your game that weak? You totally creeped those girls out last night, dude!
  • Tracey De Santa: you're going to die a virgin
  • Tracey De Santa: Stop locking yourself in the bathroom for half an hour with my high school yearbook! It's so gross!
  • Jimmy De Santa: The lesson that love conquers everything is not one taught in our house
  • Tracey De Santa: I can smell the rotting cheese in your neck rolls from my room
  • Colin Easton: You bite pillows
  • Jimmy De Santa: I'm not joking. I think I have bedsores after that 10 hour session on RS7!
  • Tracey De Santa: Stop staring at my friends when they come over.
  • Ross Connon: Are all your internal organs lying in a pile on the floor between your legs? Because I just VIOLATED you on Level 9, dude!
  • Tracey De Santa: if your tits get any bigger I'm going to have to lend you a bra.
  • Evan Arnold: It rocks you can smoke weed in your house.
  • Jimmy De Santa: Is there anything more fun than systematically assassinating someone's character online?
  • Colin Easton: You smoke pole.
  • Jimmy De Santa: Stairs suck. When I get my oiwn place. No stairs.
  • Amanda De Santa: Stop ordering food on my credit card and make do with the 3 delicious meals provided
  • Jimmy De Santa: I've realized I don't need my dad to buy me a car. I can get my own financing. There's these really amazing deals with zero down and no credit check at Premium Deluxe Motorsport.
  • Jimmy De Santa: All u losers bow down! Big J's gotta new whip! Canary yellow Karin BJXL" Oh yeah! Bitches will be FLOCKING!
  • Jimmy De Santa: Looking at this paperwork again and think I might have got stiffed a little with this car deal. I'm guessing double digit percentages aren't a good thing? And are weekly payments normal?
  • Tracey De Santa: just saw a show about primordial dwarfs - I think that's what's wrong with your penis.
  • Jimmy De Santa: Only my dad would return my new car at 100mph through the dealership window!
  • Jimmy De Santa: So that car thing didn’t work out. But new plan. 1) I need money 2) My dad’s boat is just sitting there 3) Are we all doing the math?

Tracey De Santa's page

  • Tracey De Santa: I'm so excited for the new season of Fame or Shame!!!
  • Ian Keister: I would totally hit your mom
  • Jimmy De Santa: Are you playing the field or just fucking the team???
  • Tracey De Santa: You've gotta love it when my dad threatens to kill my boyfriends and they have no idea how serious he is :)
  • Tracey De Santa: I've decided to focus on dancing instead of modeling. I think it expresses who I am a lot more. I mean why do I need to go to college when I can make a fortune in entertainment?
  • Tracey De Santa: Ok, here we go. Fourth new social circle of the year!
  • Tracey De Santa: Who saw Fame or Shame last night? I've got more talent than all of them combined!
  • Bree Young: I'm phoning, texting and lifeinvadering you at the same time! And I don't even know what we're talking about!
  • Tracey De Santa: I seriously think reality tv is the new world literature
  • Lisa Wallin: So... it's confirmed - Steve Grayson isn't just immature emotionally ;)
  • Tracey De Santa: That video I put on electric tit has got 26 views! (although I have clicked on it a lot myself)
  • Tracey De Santa: That moment when you catch a glimpse of girl's reflection in a store window, think who's that ugly cow, then realize it's you. #reasonstokillmyself
  • Tracey De Santa: Acting, modeling, singing, dancing. I'm the quadruple threat.
  • Kim Traylor: Crazzzzy night! I don't remember anything but I think I've got a new boyfriend! Win win!
  • Tracey De Santa: I feel like such a hippo right now
  • Kim Traylor: Luv u! You're sooooooo hot. Am I? Tell me plz, and on my page, not private message. Thxxxxxx
  • Tracey De Santa: Everyone defriend Shannon Toyle NOW. From now on that bitch is a pariah! Invisible!
  • Tracey De Santa: I want to die. I seriously think I might have a fatter ass than my mother.
  • Tracey De Santa: Fact. Older guys just get me.
  • Tracey De Santa: I don't know what my mom's done to her nails. Skankarific. You can take the girl out of the trailer park...
  • Bree Young: Did you honestly make out with Danny Niles? Ewwww that's so gross.
  • Tracey De Santa: So the test was negative. Phew!!!
  • Tracey De Santa: My parents are the worst role models ever.
  • Foster Matthews: Karl totally wants to do you.
  • Tracey De Santa: You know your family's got problems when you're not allowed to post photos on Lifeinvader
  • Lauren Deboer: You were such a slut last night
  • Tracey De Santa: How is it my brother manages to look like a child and a pedophile at the same time?
  • Jimmy De Santa: I seriously think you might have broken some record for most DNA consumed by a human body.
  • Tracey De Santa: I just saw Jimmy break a sweat putting on shoes. It will be a miracle if he lives past 30.
  • Tracey De Santa: Why are all the guys my age such pathetic douchebags?
  • Ralph Danforth: Can u do to me what Derek said you did to him? :)
  • Tracey De Santa: Sometimes I wish I could just trade in my family for another one (so long as they were still rich)
  • Tracey De Santa: Day 2 of the diet. Eating is cheating!!! Sooooooo tired!!!
  • Gary Scales: Thanks for a hot date last night. Sorry again about that mayonnaise packet splitting in my pocket. xx
  • Tracey De Santa: Cracked on the diet and ate an entire tiramisu. Hate myself.
  • Tracey De Santa: OMG who saw Lacey Jonas in Stastalk yesterday? She looks like a roadkill crackwhore. I'm SO much hotter than that.
  • Amanda De Santa: If you refuse speak to me directly, this is the only way. Stop acting like a spoiled brat and be thankful for what you have. I have created a monster.
  • Tracey De Santa: My parents are driving me CRAZY. I have to get my own place soon.
  • Tracey De Santa: Gary's different. He kisses me like it means something rather than just a token 10 seconds before trying to get my bra off like all the other guys.
  • Tracey De Santa: I really think Gary might be the one :)
  • Jimmy De Santa: I take it all back. Maybe you will be famous... for having the most cavernous gaper in history.
  • Tracey De Santa: My mom won't let Gary stay the night. Why's she the only one who gets to be the whore? She is such a dictator!

Hayden Dubose's page

  • Hayden Dubose: I want those golf clubs Mark Fostenburg has from Japan with the seal skin grips.
  • Hayden Dubose: Third wife's a charm! If I keep getting older and they getting younger, we're all good, right? Only joking, honey!
  • Hayden Dubose: And the kids are gone! Boarding school - never die me any harm. Made me the man I am today.
  • Hayden Dubose: I'd like to apologize again to Mr Hernandez for asking him to wait outside with the other help at last night's Neighborhood Watch meeting.
  • Hayden Dubose: The housekeeper just put my 1943 cabernet in the coq au vin. I want to cut her throat! Only joking. But COME ON! Were you raised in the wilderness?
  • Kyle Chavis: Does the new Mrs Dubose want tennis lessons like the other two did?
  • Hayden Dubose: Unanimous vote to renew my tenure as Head of Neighborhood watch AND Chair of the Edward Way Block association last night. Hard for that not to go to your head!
  • Hayden Dubose: Whoever came up with the idea of alimony should be taken outside and shot.
  • Hayden Dubose: The maid called in sick for a second day!!! I don't know if I can handle living in this squalor for a minute longer!
  • Hayden Dubose: Well, this neighborhood certainly has become cosmopolitan in the 7 years I've lived here.
  • Hayden Dubose: They're talking about letting women into the Golf Club again. It doesn't bear thinking about. #sicktomystomach
  • Jasper O'Hare: 7am tee-time. Me, you, castro, rogers, bentley. Cognac and happy endings. Home by lunch. Are you in or out?
  • Hayden Dubose: Does that tennis coach have to get in quite so close???
  • Hayden Dubose: Working hard on this new merger - got to keep my little lady in new shoes!
  • Hayden Dubose: It's like a honeymoon every night in my house at the moment. TMI?
  • Hayden Dubose: Cooking in the nude with Kimberly tonight and the gazpacho nearly wasn't vegetarian! #closecallwiththeblender
  • Melinda Dubose: Dad, please, this so humiliating. Every time I read one of your posts, I die a little inside.
  • Hayden Dubose: No financial crisis in my portfolio - 3 year high!!!

Kyle Chavis' page

  • Liz Macallen: Last time I surprise you at work. It's over, you pig.
  • Billy Pennington: Wanna meet up for a juice, bud?
  • Kyle Chavis: There's some dirt you can't wash off.
  • Kyle Chavis: Any of my old college friends around tonight? I really want to hang out with someone my own age.
  • Alice Tinsley: I can't believe we had to move away. I'll miss our Friday afternoons. You showed me that, with the right grip and a firm, confident stroke, I can smash it like a woman half my age... and that's a lesson I'll take with me for the rest of my life. xxx
  • Kyle Chavis: Mrs. Brooke on Kimble Hill Drive has had so much work done she squeakes when she runs!
  • Susan Chavis: Is it true what you said the other night after you drank all that whisky? About crying yourself to sleep every night because your life is so pitiful and empty? Call any time, peanut. Love, Mom.
  • Alex Deane: Yeah, you're a pro alright. You should be standing on a street corner. Stay away from me and my family.
  • Kyle Chavis: I can't even imagine what it would be like not to be tanned all year round.
  • Amanda De Santa: How's your schedule tomorrow? I'm really having trouble with my backhand again.
  • Kyle Chavis: Ladies, talk to your husbands. $150 an hour. If you want to double up, I'll do you both in an hour for $250.
  • Dena Spears: I hate it when you teach all those other women.
  • Kyle Chavis: I was once ranked 42nd in the country age 14-16. What have I become?
  • Rebecca Powell: My husband says I can't have any more classes for a while :(
  • Kyle Chavis: You'd never know @Amanda De Santa was in her 40s ;)

Redwood Cigarettes' page

  • Redwood Cigarettes: The Redwood man - men want to be him, women want to be on him.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Redwood Cigarettes. Helping teenagers get accepted by their peers for over 200 years.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Coming soon. Redwood Organic. $45 a pack. Free-trade, for all you hipsters out there.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: America needs tobacco's tax dollars. Help your country get back on its feet by smoking Redwood.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Redwood Cigarettes. Less virgins thn any other cigarette.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Bruce Spade is now proud to smoke Redwood Cigarettes.
  • Gerry Huckford: My granddadddy smoked Redwoods, my daddy smoked Redwoods... I never knew either of them, but from what I hear, apart from some truly awful final years, they were fine men.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Coffee and a Redwood. Breakfast of champions. Start your day the Redwood way, by hacking bile into a cup beside the bed.
  • Gemma Kipley: I love way a Redwood brings out the cool in everyone!
  • Brian Moxton: I just love the refreshing smooth taste of a Redwood. There's nothing like it!
  • Kelly Rutherford: Every drag reminds me of when American was great!
  • Redwood Cigarettes: Thank you to all our posters, none of whom are paid contributors.
  • Redwood Cigarettes: The Redwood Man. Virility without the sperm count. Safest sex you'll ever have.

Bleets

  • @SwingersBaseball: Absent Dad Day at the game tomorrow – attempt to bond with the son you lost in the divorce over $20 hot dogs at $150 seats in the nosebleed section.
  • @stayathome_helen23: My baby just waved at me! I knew you’d all want to know right away! Pics to follow! Yay for smartphones!
  • @Lazlow #onedayatatime: Not feeling great about myself this morning. Should have known class drinks after Sex Addicts Anonymous group was a bad idea. #onedayatatime
  • @PremiumDeluxeMotorsport: Again I am victim of vicious hate crime. Vandalized and attacked by another racist who cannot stand to see hardworking taxpaying armenian american succeed.
  • @Benefactor: Soccer moms, check out the new Benefactor Serrano luxury crossover. It’s an SUV, it’s a minivan, it’s a station wagon, it’s none of the above. It’s practically hip.
  • @BobbyBlue #UpnAtom #notasellout: Just had a great #UpnAtom burger sometimes as an artist I just love to eat original burgers because its food from when we were morally superior. #notasellout
  • @redfishturd #thoughtoftheday: Why do hospitals need to advertise on TV? Don’t everybody just go to the nearest one? Just sayin #thoughtoftheday
  • @WhizWireless: Drone recall! Do not take cock pics as the software has been accidentally texting pics to everyone in your address book.
  • @jenny_wordup: I’m starting to think the bad smell I’ve been complaining to everyone about all day might be me.
  • @JimmyDS: u think uve got it bad dikheads sum mothafucka just robbed my new wheels sux a massif dick lemme tell u.

Bank transactions

Franklin Clinton

  • Credit $300 CR

Michael De Santa

Balance: $7,860