Franklin and Lamar/Aftermath
This page details the in-game effects after completing the mission Franklin and Lamar.
- 1 Emails
- 2 News updates
- 2.1 Another studio shuttered and turned into flats.
- 2.2 Gang Crime on the rise again in Los Santos. Media to blame due to lack of coverage.
- 2.3 BAWSAQ swings wildly, pain shoots through traders.
- 2.4 Security Agencies go head-to-head for funding
- 2.5 Congress Privatizes Defense as Weston takes big stake in Merryweather. CEO Percival 'delighted to be of service. Disappointed at lack of scope.'
- 2.6 Formage defeats revenue service – Epsilon program, 'a religion, not a cult' court declares.
- 3 Lifeinvader updates
- 3.1 Franklin Clinton's page
- 3.2 Lamar Davis' page
- 3.3 Denise Clinton's page
- 3.4 Tonya Wiggins' page
- 3.5 Simeon Yetarian's page
- 3.6 Stretch's page
- 3.7 Tanisha Jackson's page
- 3.8 Tavell Clinton
- 3.9 Demarcus Bradley's page
- 3.10 INK INC's page
- 3.11 Los Santos Customs' page
- 3.12 The Feud's page
- 3.13 Sprunk's page
- 3.14 Herr Kutz' page
- 4 Bleets
- 5 Franklin's phone contacts
- 6 Franklin's bank transactions
Me. Not us.
I don't know why I'm writing to you but trust me, it is NOT because secretly I want to get back together. I don't. Not now. Not ever. You are who you are and that is that. I waited and I waited and nothing changed and now I'm seeing someone else and I'm finally happy. After all that I went through with my brothers passing, I know that life you live ain't for me. I always knew that. I ain’t got the strength. I don't want it. I want something else and that thing ain't money. I guess what I'm saying is good bye. You'll always be my friend, you know that, but that is it.
- Franklin Clinton to Tanisha Jackson
T – don't say that. You do your thing right now, but wait for me. We meant for each other. You know that.
- Tanisha Jackson to Franlin Clinton
RE:RE: Me. Not is.
No, you got it wrong. We ain't meant for each other. You gotta understand there is always a cost, and the cost of the choices you made is you and me. No going back on that. Like I said, I hope you make it and you’re my friend, but I want a real life.
- Franklin Clinton to Tanisha Jackson
T – you're being emotional, and I understand, but I'm always here for you.
- Tanisha Jackson to Franklin Clinton
RE:RE:RE:RE: Me. Not us.
And I’m here for you as a friend, and nothing more. If you can’t accept that, then we can’t be friends. I’m getting married – to a good guy, a real guy. I hope you’re happy for me and I hope you know its what I need. T
- Brother Adrian to Franklin Clinton
Find out for yourself.
Isn't it time you took control of your inner self? Are you willing to spare five minutes for a lifetime of fulfilment? Visit www.mydivinewithin.com to receive a FREE actuality analysis.
Become an active engineer of your destiny.
Another studio shuttered and turned into flats.
The implosion of the American film industry continued today with the announcement that another major movie studio has closed its doors for good. Lowenstein Pictures was founded by Vinewood mogul Roy Lowenstein in the 1920s and soon became a production line for insipid family-friendly entertainment despite Mr. Lowenstein's much publicized vicious mistreatment of his own wives and children. The news will no doubt deal another blow to Solomon Richards and his beleaguered Richards Majestic studio, which has been forced to scrape the creative barrel in recent years with desperate movies like Defender of The Faith in a last-ditch attempt to stave off bankruptcy.
Gang Crime on the rise again in Los Santos. Media to blame due to lack of coverage.
After years of falling interest in gangs and gang culture, a recent rise in gang violence and in gang membership across Los Santos has led to calls for greater regulations covering medial portrayals of violence. A broad spectrum of politicians were united in condemnation of the media yesterday after figures showed a recent upsurge in gang violence. The issue this time, according to experts in the field – a lack of recent movies and video games about gangs has apparently convinced young people that it is an acceptable choice. San Andreas gubernatorial candidate Sue Murry was one of many voices wanting to be heard. "It's simply irresponsible of Vinewood not to cover social problems. Without education from movies, how are children supposed to learn that shooting each other has serious consequences? Video games are even worse because they donate even less money to social causes and they love violence, especially the wrong kind."
BAWSAQ swings wildly, pain shoots through traders.
From the moment the opening bell rang in the financial district here in Liberty City, there was shouting and screaming heard on the trading floor – in the streets and out of the windows of some of the largest trading firms. Wild dips were seen as some companies lost 10 percent of their value in minutes as supercomputers executed millions of trades per second and their human masters sat back in horror as our financial system threatened to come crumbling down, before surging up in a late rally and ending the day just about to flay. "This is not conjecture, this is fact," conjectured trader Adam Feinstein. Meanwhile regulators have been asked to look into the practice of computers automatically executing trades and causing wild swings in the markets. The practice has been banned on trading floors across Europe. "We're not going to do anything Europe does, since it's probably wrong," said one trader.
Security Agencies go head-to-head for funding
They are often described as the "twin pillars of our national security", but now the FIB and the IAA have found a new enemy – each other. Following calls for balanced budgets and a proposed reduction in defense and security funding, both agencies have been lobbying hard in the Capital recently to explain why their budget should stay intact. FIB spokesman Gary Lane told anyone who would listen "reducing out budget now would be crazy. It would be how a crazy person would act. And the person who did it would probably discover that not only were they crazy but also all of their dirty secrets were suddenly made public so everyone could decide if this is the kind of country we want to live in – one run by a crazy person with a mistress or two." International Affairs Agency spokesperson Lucinda Jacob said "presidents that have tried to stop the IAA from performing our duty in ways we see fit have tended to wind up having their heads blown off. No. I’m only joking. Come on? Who can't take a joke? The point is this – every day you're not killed by terrorists or communists is a day you should give thanks to the IAA. We love this country. We will love everything it stands for, like freedom and apple pie and things like that. We will repress any freedoms necessary to keep you free and fed on apple pie, or something like that. Listen, we need to keep our funding. It's that or someone is going to get you in the can." Both agencies criticized the other and blamed them for America's problems domestically and overseas. Neither would do so on the record.
Congress Privatizes Defense as Weston takes big stake in Merryweather. CEO Percival 'delighted to be of service. Disappointed at lack of scope.'
A motion in Congress was defeated yesterday that would prevented the expansion of companies such as Merryweather Security Consulting's domestic operations. At the same time, it was announced that famed investor Devin Weston had bought a stake in the company. Merryweather CEO Don Percival has spent the last few months lobbying congress for more domestic contracts. Now he's got his way with the firm being awarded several national and state defense contracts, although not yet the contract he craves with the Port of Los Santos or any of the country's international airports. This means for the first time America is now outsourcing its domestic – as well as overseas – defense needs. Percival described the decision as "a farsighted and cost effective way to protect the nation. We will provide well-trained private contractors to do the job overly-entitled federal employees were doing for twice as much money." At the same press conference, Merryweather announced it had sold a slug of its business – thought to be between 10 and 15 percent – to controversial investor, Devin Weston. Some eyebrows were raised at the timings, but Percival rejected these concerns as "pure coincidence masquerading as incrimination."
Formage defeats revenue service – Epsilon program, 'a religion, not a cult' court declares.
Cris Formage and his fellow Epsilonists were celebrating yesterday after the Super Court of the State of San Andreas overturned the Revenue Service's claim that they were a cult, and not a real religion, and therefore should have their charitable status repealed. An Epsilon Program Spokesman said "when you think of cults, you think of deluded, self-appointed demigods wearing silly clothes, inventing silly words and telling everyone how to live. That's not Epsilonism at all. We are a religion. We all like the same color and we are all involved in writing a great work of scripture just like any other religion. The Tract is not yet written but it will be soon. This is a great day for mankind. In fact it's the best day for a billion years or more. Kifflom."
Franklin Clinton's page
- Lamar Davis: OGs got beef with you dog – why didn't u show for the meeting?
- Denise Clinton: Whatever that gym sock is under your bed I want it gone by the time I get home
- Lamar Davis: ok we goin large tonite its time to get your dick wet nigga u cant run around after the same girl from high school your whole life.
- Jamal Reynolds: I swear I just saw lamar on one of them dumbest criminal bloopers shows
- Denise Clinton: If this house is 50% mine why am I cleaning 100% of it?
- Tonya: where u been hidin playa? JB say u still owes him a 20 from 98?
- Stretch: Enjoy your last few days of thinking you call any shots. Hope you missed me.
- Demarcus: What's this forum thing I've been hearing about? Hope you know what you're doing homie.
- Tavell: Is this seriously all the friends you got? Or are you just too cool for Lifeinvader?
- Lamar Davis: We gotta put something together homie we aint gonna be retiring any time soon from this repo errand boy shit
- Lamar Davis: You wanna go out tonight so I can school you in the art of seduction?
- Simeon Yetarian: If you continue to apply yourself and learn from my leadership I think you have a bright future in the requisitions department. I can fasttrack you to assistant manager in five years!
- Tanisha Jackson: Don't be a stranger. I still want to be friends ok??
- Simeon Yetarian: I need you and Lamar out in the field. Some of our customers have foolishly over-stretched themselves again with their credit schedule. And you wonder why America is in a crisis!
- Lamar Davis: Answer your phone dog! Where r u? We gotta check out Bertolt Beach House for Simeon.
After the events of Franklin and Lamar:
- Darryl Knox: Am I dreaming or did I just see you and lamar tearing up the del perro freeway on some sick wheels??
Lamar Davis' page
- Gerald G.: Stay the hell away from me.
- Stretch: If u think ur so Native American I'm gonna start calling you Big Chief Talking Bull and Little Dick Running Mouth
- Lamar Davis: Next time someone ducks when I reach for my wallet in a store I'm just gonna pull out my gun. Post racial society? Aint where im standing. #symbolofoppression
- Lamar Davis: ladies were flockin last night like seagulls on a hotdog and u know I mean footlong bitchzzzzzz
- Jamal Reynolds: Wat was that shit last night dog? You the worst wingman ever
- Andre Barnes: Working repo for the Armenians? Yeah you real gangster Lamar!
- Demarcus Bradley: Two years inside and I seen you yet which means either 1) u still a baby g or 2) 5-0 are slippin coz u about the weakest playa I know ;)
- Lamar Davis: LD don't half step he go hard on THREE legs u feel me!
- Stretch: You best start rolling out that red carpet coz I'm getting out next week!
- Simeon Yetarian: With loyalty, dedication and my careful mentorship I think you could be a capable requisitions executive. Keep up the good work.
Denise Clinton's page
- Denise Clinton: The house stinks of weed again. That boy needs to get his act together!
- Denise Clinton: Come on ladies, where's the fight? Riots not diets!
- Denise Clinton: How is it that Franklin can only pee around the toilet and not into it????
- Denise Clinton: I am on my period. I AM ON MY PERIOD. From now on I will be proudly open about my menstruation!
- Pippy Eggerton: Quantum energy healing you should really try it. It's completely realigned me!
- Denise Clinton: When will I ever learn not to trust someone on the Sagittarius-Capricorn cusp????
- Denise Clinton: No wonder I never get a second date with that boy walking in every time I have a man home for coffee.
- Denise Clinton: 50 vegan chia brownies going spare! Another pathetic turnout for the Chamberlain Hills Feminists meeting last night!
- Julie Pollock: See you at pelvic floor boot camp!
- Denise Clinton: How hard is it to find gluten-free food in South LS?
- Denise Clinton: Is it too much to ask for a little gratitude from my nephew??? I am not a maid!
- Denise Clinton: Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway
Tonya Wiggins' page
- Tonya Wiggins: My man be many things but least he ain't turfed up like every other homie round here.
- Tonya Wiggins: Queen of Forum Drive right here kickin ass and takin names baby!
- Tonya Wiggins: Can anybody lend me $40 until the weekend?
- Tonya Wiggins: Damn Dakota's baby so ugly no wonder she's gotta be drunk to breastfed it.
- JB Bradshaw: Phone is outta juice probably jus gonna crash here not feelin so gud. xoxox
- Tonya Wiggins: Crazy the things u lern when u spend your days kickin it by a liquor store.
- Lahronda Whitfield: Saw JB in a bad way on Capital Blvd pants all stained hustling for quarters...u sure he's ok?
- Tonya Wiggins: Landlord given us notice again and JB awol AGAIN I need to find a man with rocks in his pants not his pipe
- Tonya Wiggins: Who seen JB? He aint picking up his phone.
- Tanisha Jackson: Hey girl what's new with u? All good here with me. Moved in with Jayden a few months back. Hope things are going better for you and JB. Call me.
- Tonya Wiggins: Cold 40 and a fat one #breakfastofchampions. I know how to look after my man
- Tonya Wiggins: Thought JB was down on one knee to propose but he just collapsed L
- Nia Briscoll: What this about u getting into my man's car? Stay away from him u crack whore.
- Tonya Wiggins: Anybody want to to do their nails? $10
- Tonya Wiggins: What's the deal with that Denise Clinton chanting all that shit about patriarchy? That girl gone and lost it.
- Tonya Wiggins: Must be somethin in the air coz every homie got the tonya fever today!
- Tonya Wiggins: Ballas? Families? What happened to a family man with balls? That's a true pimp in my book.
- Tonya Wiggins: I know its been a while but still cant believe they gave prom queen to Shanice Jenkins. I was the people's choice.
- Tonya Wiggins: Can anyone fill in for JB's shift at the towing yard today?
- Tonya Wiggins: All you bitchz out there look at yoselves before you judge me. I am FUNCTIONAL
- Tonya Wiggins: A new day a new Tonya! Thist time I really am getting clean!
- Tonya Wiggins: Gettin my groove on to west coast classics. Lovin myself some DJ Pooh right now. I would ride that man into the sunset!!
Simeon Yetarian's page
- Simeon Yetarian: I just closed another great deal at competitive interest rates. The customer tried to discriminate against me but I called him out on it and stood proud! He will not rush to judge another man's 5 o'clock shadow!
- Lamar Davis: You one dirty dog, Simeon. Those photos you sent me the link to were straight up nasty!
- Simeon Yetarian: Why don't you really ride shotgun this weekend by test driving a vehicle at Premium Deluxe Motorsport? Right next door to Ammu-nation!
- Simeon Yetarian: I see all my employees as the sons I would have had if I was more open-minded about interracial marriage.
- Sacha Yetarian: I'm wonder whether we should be investing more in precious metals, Uncle Simeon? And I was also wondering when you were going to pay me for last month?
- Simeon Yetarian: I have put myself forward for another 'hero of the community' award. I hope they have got rid of the racist panel of judges who denied me last year.
- Simeon Yetarian: At Premium Deluxe Motorsport, we do not discriminate. We offer financing to anyone! No credit? No problem! You're approved!
- Lamar Davis: Do you even know how to use this old-timer?
- Stretch: Caught a chump dry snitchin broke his face codes the code mothafucka.
- Stretch: Im getting 5 days in D-seg for breaking that homie's jaw guess I shouldn't write this stuff on lifeinvader
- Stretch: Inside or outside I'm still running the show.
- Lamar Davis: Word on the street is you're a prison wolf now? Well don't come howling at me when you get out. LD don't cross swords.
- Stretch: Just got out of the hole more man than I went in they cant break me
- Stretch: PG Jackson might be the biggest sellout in the history of hiphop
- Lamar Davis: u anyone's wife yet? Only one thing gettin stretched by you these days!
- Stretch: New tattoo leakin real nasty I said that needle wasnt right.
- Stretch: They trying to place me in a cleaning job when I get out. Only thing ill be cleaning is ballas outta davis.
- Stretch: Crossing lines, building bridges, doin my thing. I'm getting diplomat up in this mofo.
- Stretch: You do your time, you keep your mouth shut.
- Lamar Davis: How many times a day are you getting turned out now?
- Stretch: Any of the bitches stalking my page on lifeinvader wanna marry me so I can get a conjugal visit? #needafemalehole
- Demarcus Bradley: You must be getting out any day now right?
Tanisha Jackson's page
- Tanisha Jackson: Nice to be with a guy who saves lives rather than takes them
- Monette Allerton: Hey girl tel me about this new man????
- Tanisha Jackson: Is there a doctor in the house? In mine there is!
- Denise Clinton: For what it's worth I think you made the right move. He'll never grow up.
- Catrina Wells: What's this about you shacking up with a doctor?
- Tanisha Jackson: Sometime I have to pinch myself. Life is SO great right now!
- Tanisha Jackson: I cant believe I live in a neighborhood where people correct the spelling of graffiti!
- Dana Ellis: You too good to come back to the hood now?
- Tanisha Jackson: Jayden told me off for buying prosecco instead of cava :-(
- Lamar Davis: How's that super-nigga working out for you?
- Tanisha Jackson: Finally my home life is filled and satisfied, if you know what I mean :-)
- Tanisha Jackson: It's so great to be able to wear purple again!!
- JB Bradshaw: Now you a rich girl wat about breakin off a piece for your homie?
- Tanisha Jackson: Going for cocktails in the Richman hotel tonite!!!
- Tanisha Jackson: old worlds and new - thinking of my peeps on forum drive today much love xx
- Tanisha Jackson: Guess what I got for my birthday...Johnny Tung shoes!!! There one doctor getting very lucky tonight!
- Tavell Clinton: Just moved into my new place in Schottler - escape one hood to live in another!
- Tavell Clinton: 6 months in Liberty City! Been there and got the tshirt baby!
- Denise Clinton: Hope you're taking care of yourself and not trusting anyone. Maybe you can persuade your cousin to move out there with you?
- Tavell Clinton: Just saw Tony McTony outside the meTV building and I believe the camera adds 5 inches!
- Tavell Clinton: Sharing an apartment with 2 Jamaicans and a student from Senegal. 4 black dudes who don't understand each other!
- Tavell Clinton: Just sprayed CGF on the Broker Bridge. Representing!
- Nicolson Bell: How's life treating you on the Least Coast? You started wearing a blazer and eating chowder yet?
- Tavell Clinton: You should've seen this fool Pathos trying to get me to buy his CD on the street corner. If a home'd hassled me like that back home he'd have got laid down!
- Tavell Clinton: Man I miss home. I just experienced 4 seasons in one day!
- Tavell Clinton: Weird that people actually use the train in Liberty City.
- Tavell Clinton: Got a job as a "barista" - Italian word that translates as "fool who serves rich people coffee"
- Tavell Clinton: Why is everyone so neurotic here??? Where's all the new-agey heavily medicated peeps??? #missthewestcoast
- Lamar Davis: What up little playa? Hope you puttin those broker females to the sword.
- Tavell Clinton: Don't nobody know how to barbecue on the East Coast?
Demarcus Bradley's page
- Demarcus Bradley: Still don't know how I got caught, but I'm innocent
- Stretch: So they transferring you to Bolingbroke?
- Demarcus Bradley: It's like a Davis High reunion up in here! Half the class of 2005!
- Demarcus Bradley: A fun afternoo of terrifying white collar criminals
- Hailey Watson: Though you should know I've redecorated your room and turned it into a home gym. Love you, Mom x
- JB Bradshaw: When r u getting out? Don't forget about that $5 u owe me.
- Demarcus Bradley: My new cellie stinks like rotten ass
- Demarcus Bradley: How are fools like Lamar Davis on the outside and I'm on the inside? Life aint never fair.
- Deja Medwell: Hey lover missin you like crazy counting down the days stay strong xx
- Demarcus Bradley: I got a better tv in here than I do at home
- Demarcus Bradley: Just got a friend request from the guard on my wing. It's a messed up world
- Demarcus Bradley: This new batch of psychiatric meds is awesome!
- Demarcus Bradley: You show emotion, you show weakness. You show weakness, you become female. Prison evolution.
- Demarcus Bradley: I never met a prison dentist who ain't a total psycho.
- Deja Medwell: What's that crack whore tonya doing sending you photos of her nasty ass????
- Lamar Davis: So you and Stretch boyfriend and girlfriend yet?
- Demarcus Bradley: Watching my cellie brush his teeth - if only he knew where that toothbrush had been :-)
INK INC's page
- INK INC: Come experience the ancient art of drunken self-expression at Ink Inc
- INK INC: A tattoo is a rite of passage for the 21st century American douchebag.
- Taylor Hoyte: I can't explain it but that oriental coy fish and asian writing really express who I am.
- INK INC: Tattoos used to be about rebellion and self-expression. Now they're about conforming. Don't stand out from the crowd - get a tattoo today.
- Andy Whitford: I got that mermaid tattoo on my forearm to look tough but everyone thinks I'm gay!
- INK INC: Come on. You won't get a job in a coffee shop without one.
- INK INC: Pick from a catalogue of stock images - because it's an expression of how creative and individual you are!
- INK INC: If you think it's expensive and painful now, wait for the removal operation in 10 years when you realize how ridiculous you look!
- INK INC: Remmeber, you skin is a blank canvas for shitty art you can never get rid of.
- INK INC: Now available - the Impotent Rage tattoo! Because a cartoon on a grown man says he doesn't take himself too seriously!
- Mike Hathaway: I'm a white guy who's never left the USA but my African tribal tattoo really defines me. Thank you!
- INK INC: Get a hot girl tattooed on your lower leg and you'll have jerk-off material for life.
- Harvey Pritchard: No! My lucky horseshoe turned septic!
- INK INC: Come on guys, nothing says you've worked through your Oedipus complex like a "mother" tattoo
- INK INC: Tip us the first time, we won't push so hard the second time.
- INK INC: The "Lion on the shoulder" - our best selling drunk tattoo last month!
- Steve Welby: I put on 50 pounds and now the skull on my stomach looks like a pepperoni pizza :(
- INK INC: Tourists take home a souvenir you won't forget - a Los Santos tattoo!
Los Santos Customs' page
- LS Customs: Come on in today! An economic crisis is the perfect time to slap thousands of dollars of accessories on your car!
- LS Customs: Don't neglect your car. This is Los Santos - everyone has had work done.
- LS Customs: Currently sold out of stripper poles
- LS Customs: Check out all our locations at www.lossantoscustoms.com
- LS Customs: We offer 4 levels of FMS Upgrades - just what you need for the busiest city center in America!
- LS Customs: Street races going OFF around Los Santos right now - you didn't hear it from us.
- Hank Sidwell: I love my clown horn! I'll never get laid again!
- LS Customs: Fast, discrete resprays guaranteed!
- LS Customs: Don't ask us to pimp your ride - it's not the 90s.
- LS Customs: When Jill Von Crastenburg wants her car covered in endangered animal fur, she comes to LS Customs!
- Gary Harby: Check out my snorkel intake! Now when traffic gets too bad in LS, I just take the river!
- LS Customs: Make sure that what you do in your car, stays in your car. Blacked out windows - $700.
- LS Customs: Back by popular demand..custom tire smoke - pick your color!
- Sam Waters: Couldn't be happier with my bullbar and winch - great for freeing up parking spaces!
- LS Customs: 91% of Los Santos residents now own a firearm. Bulletproof tires on special this week!
- Lamar Davis: Hao gives the best rim job in town!
The Feud's page
- Darnell Stevens: ELS Ballas in the house. Your house. Thanks again for givin us Grove Street bitchz!
- Sara Pratt: WTF!!!! Morales couldn't catch a cold if someone coughed in his face!
- Sterlin Lawson: Go Feud! It's a gree world!
- Graham Ramsey: What was that pitch? I've seen better curves on an anorexic chick!
- Benton Cox: We family! Ballas Killas! The original shotcallers!
- Reshay Mills: Let's go Feud! We gettin that green tonite!
- Antoine Potter: Ball Till You Turn Purple. When we hit, we don't miss!
- Reshay Mills: The only place pruple should be is on your dick.
- Trenton Mayberry: Slayed by the Boars again! Can't Stop, Won't Stop Ballin'!
- Regis Welsh: Boars 6 Feud 2! See Families can't even look after THIS turf!
- Moderator@TheFeud: Guys, can we please keep this about baseball?
- Darryl Knox: The only reason you like Boars so much because your dicks are all small and you women are all pigs
- Lonny Gideon: FFS - will you PLEASE ban all the Ballas from this page?
- Taye Buckley: Come to Carson Avenue - all of you gonna get dealt with.
- Tyson Fillmore: The last time Rivero found the plate twice in a row was at an all you can eat buffet
- Karl Raven: What's Dowling's problem? I've seen a longer arm on a T-Rex
- Adric Howard: Only bitches wear green. Original Covenant 4 life.
- Moderator@TheFeud: This is a fan page for The Feud. Please keep comments on message.
- Todd Ramsey: It's like I can FEEL my sperm count decreasing with every can!
- Sprunk: Sprunk is proud to sponsor the Los Santos Dust Devils, because everything's better over ice.
- Sprunk: Parenting tip... Tired, cranky baby? Mix Sprunk with formula
- Sprunk: Sprunk - the official drink of the San Andreas school system. We believe in education.
- Sprunk: 7 out of 10 dentists have now been paid to recommend Sprunk
- Vince Halsley: Is it true it contains ether?
- Sprunk: You'd have to drink 10 cups of coffee to get the same caffeine as a can of Sprunk, and that would be disgusting.
- Sprunk: Invest in America's favorite soda. Let's create a better future together!
- Sprunk: Drinking a can of Sprunk has been known to cure gunshot wounds.
- Sprunk: Sprunk now comes with slightly less benzene!
- Sprunk: Diet tip. Replace one meal a day with a can of Sprunk and watch the bone density melt away.
- Sprunk: Housekeeping tip. Sprunk doesn't spoil like fresh juices.. Shelf stable for the apocalypse.
- Joshua Walsh: Number 1 Sprunk fan! Btw, is anybody else experiencing problems with incontinence?
- Sprunk: Struggling with your homework? Drink a can of Sprunk!
Herr Kutz' page
- Connor Shipley: I've been getting my hair cut at Herr Kutz since I was a boy and I've got the scars to prove it!
- Herr Kutz: Remember - the more you tip, the less it will hurt next time.
- Herr Kutz: The management reserves the right not to serve guys who stinks.
- Aaron Fisk: I asked for a number 1, not to get scalped!
- Herr Kutz: Fresh to death or your money back (and if we don't do something about Donna's myopia, maybe literally)
- Herr Kutz: In a hurry? We're the quickest hair cut in town!
- Herr Kutz: Where men can still feel manly about spending $100 on a 2-hour cosmetic procedure.
- Donna@HerrKutzBarbers: Remember gangsters, when you come in here, I'm the one with the blade.
- Gerry Colford: Herr Kutz is the best! I love that there's never anyone in there when I walk in.
- Herr Kutz: Party at the back! Our $60 mullet is the top-selling in Mirror Park! Ironic or not - the choice is yours!
- Herr Kutz: Tramlines - $25!! The nineties are only dead if you want them to be!
- Herr Kutz: Two words people - CASH ONLY
- Herr Kutz: It took two months but the lice problem is finally cleared!
- Herr Kutz: Don't ask for a shampoo. It's a barber's shop not a beauty parlor.
- Jon Henley: How do you get off charging $28 for triple rails????
- Herr Kutz: @kevinprendegast Congratulations on being the 10,000th customer at our Paleto Bay shop! Sorry again about the ear
- Herr Kutz: Scissor disinfectant is for sissies
- Herr Kutz: For the old school barber shop experience at modern prices, come to Herr Kutz
- @ClayPGJackson #keepingitreal: I’m a former gangster but I have a sensitive side. I write poetry and wear dresses and go to ballet and cry just like a real artist. I make vodka. Also like a real artist #keepingitreal
- @cowboy_becky: Ive made peace with it if I think of him as my dads son it don't feel so weird luv don’t have boundaries on an alligator farm
- @RedwoodCigarettes #breakfastofchampions: New study in China concludes eggs are worse for you than cigarettes. Start your day the Redwood way.#breakfastofchampions
- @suicideplumber4: I can finally confirm with certainty that weed and building up a stockpile of emergency doomsday provisions do not mix.
- @nobbly_head: just saw 2 crazzzzy hoods racing boosted cars on del perro freeway sweet ass convertibles too!
- @stabfino@ pow pow put u dwn bitches gangs r so cool man stylin it all day baby
- @eColaSoftDrink #happiness: Happiness is bumping into an old friend, sharing an eCola, and picking up right where you left off, fighting about politics and then banging her in the can #happiness.
- @JillVonCrastenburg: Did I grow up too fast? Is 18 too young to retire? Why was I more of a sex symbol before I reached the age of consent? Its a fucked up world.
- @Fatallan75 #womenareevil: She warned me she was a screamer then didn't make a sound all night. She overdosed. I've done nothing wrong.#womenareevil
- @DudeEatDog: The semifinals – Doberman night! The show that animal activists are trying to get banned. Bow Wow Chow! Only on CNT.
Franklin's phone contacts
- Blimp (if game pre-ordered and activated)
- Downtown Cab Co.
- Emergency Services
Franklin's bank transactions
- Simeon Yetarian - $250