|Full Name||Mr. Hitzman|
|Occupation||Kung Fu Rainbow Lazer Force member|
Mr. Hitzman is the science teacher at the Wickenberg Canyon High School and is the mentor to the Kung Fu Rainbow Lazer Force team of Sebastian Kayden, Dirk, Quota, Tallulah and Zoey. In the episode Football StemCell Slaughter Showdown he teaches the group that a flood killed off the dinosaurs and Romans. He enforces the groups anti-homosexuality stance and family values at the school but appears to be a closeted homosexual as he finds the penis is more 'elegant and surprising' than the vagina, which he believes to be revolting, and becomes exicted when thinking about oral sex between men.