A History of Liberty City: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:History_of_liberty.JPG| thumb|200px| Right| History Of Liberty City]]
[[Image:History_of_liberty.JPG| thumb|200px| Right| History Of Liberty City]]
'''A History of Liberty City''' is a documentary that is aired constantly in [[Grand Theft Auto IV]] which explains the history of [[Liberty City in GTA IV|Liberty City]] from the colonial age through the Civil War. Liberty City's history nearly parallel's [[Wikipedia:New York City|New York City's]] history. The show is sponsored by the [[Bank of Liberty]] and Public Broadcasting Corporation.
'''A History of Liberty City''' is a documentary that is aired constantly in [[Grand Theft Auto IV]] which explains the history of [[Liberty City in GTA IV|Liberty City]] from the colonial age through the Revolutionary War. Liberty City's history nearly parallel's [[Wikipedia:New York City|New York City's]] history. The show is sponsored by the [[Bank of Liberty]] and Public Broadcasting Corporation.


==Colonial Era==
==Colonial Era==
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The Dutch had plentiful resources. They traded beaver skins, a 17th century version of wife swapping.
The Dutch had plentiful resources. They traded beaver skins, a 17th century version of wife swapping.


The gateway to the New World was also a den of inequity. The campaign to clean up the city began almost as soon as the city was founded. In the spring of 1647, the East India Trading Company hired a general for New Rotterdam named Gloria Hole (based on [[wp:Peter_Stuyvesant|Peter Stuyvesant]]) to return civility and productivity to the colony.
The gateway to the New World was also a den of inequity. The campaign to clean up the city began almost as soon as the city was founded. In the spring of 1647, the East India Trading Company hired a general for New Rotterdam named Gloria Hole (based on [[wp:Peter_Stuyvesant|Peter Stuyvesant]]) to return civility and productivity to the colony.


Within weeks Hole banned many activities. This wasn't well received. The city was burned to the ground. Within a few years New Rotterdam had become so diverse that the Dutch had become a minority in their own colony. Diversity was troubling to them, and with diversity came peril.
Within weeks Hole banned many activities. This wasn't well received. The city was burned to the ground. Within a few years New Rotterdam had become so diverse that the Dutch had become a minority in their own colony. Diversity was troubling to them, and with diversity came peril.
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==British Occupation==
==British Occupation==
On August 27, 1664, armed British warships [[wp:History_of_New_York_City_(prehistory–1664)#Arrival_of_the_British|entered the harbor]]. The colonists signed a petition requesting to be ruled by the British. The English renamed the city to Liberty City. The British expanded while destroying and eradicating the native population.  
On August 27, 1664, armed British warships [[wp:History_of_New_York_City_(prehistory–1664)#Arrival_of_the_British|entered the harbor]]. The colonists signed a petition requesting to be ruled by the British. The English renamed the city to Liberty City. The British expanded while destroying and eradicating the native population.


Soon the colony expanded and areas were named after heavily inbred members of their Germanic royal families. [[Broker]] was named after Sir William Broker III, the king's bastard son. To the north was called [[Dukes]], named after the word ''dukey'', as the people there stunk. The peninsula to the north of that was named [[Bohan]], after ''bohan'', a Dutch word meaning ''Dutch word''. The area across the river was dubbed [[Alderney]], after Phillip Alderney, the only person who can tolerate living in an oily mosquito-filled swamp.
Soon the colony expanded and areas were named after heavily inbred members of their Germanic royal families. [[Broker]] was named after Sir William Broker III, the king's bastard son. To the north was called [[Dukes]], named after the word ''dukey'', as the people there stunk. The peninsula to the north of that was named [[Bohan]], after ''bohan'', a Dutch word meaning ''Dutch word''. The area across the river was dubbed [[Alderney]], after Phillip Alderney, the only person who can tolerate living in an oily mosquito-filled swamp.
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There is a quiz on [http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/#?page=history&content=interactive0 Rockstar's site] testing the reader's knowledge in the history of Liberty City. Here are the questions and answers.
There is a quiz on [http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/#?page=history&content=interactive0 Rockstar's site] testing the reader's knowledge in the history of Liberty City. Here are the questions and answers.


Q: Why did Europeans move to Liberty City?<br>
Q: Why did Europeans move to Liberty City?<br />
A: The Dutch wanted a place to sell weed and women.
A: The Dutch wanted a place to sell weed and women.


Q: What was the price of the first prostitute?<br>
Q: What was the price of the first prostitute?<br />
A: A swift blow to the back of the head.
A: A swift blow to the back of the head.


Q: Why was [[Middle Park]] built?<br>
Q: Why was [[Middle Park]] built?<br />
A: To provide junkies with a scenic background for drug use.
A: To provide junkies with a scenic background for drug use.


Q: What is Alderney best known for?<br>
Q: What is Alderney best known for?<br />
A: Being a swamp with soccer moms.<br>
A: Being a swamp with soccer moms.<br />
A: Being named after a shitty island off France where old people go to die.<br>
A: Being named after a shitty island off France where old people go to die.<br />
A: Being the home of the 80's power ballad.<br>
A: Being the home of the 80's power ballad.<br />
A: Juiced-up guys in cheap jewelry and tight t-shirts and fake-baked, chain smoking girls with big hair.<br>
A: Juiced-up guys in cheap jewelry and tight t-shirts and fake-baked, chain smoking girls with big hair.<br />
A: Being a place where people from Algonquin go to dump dead bodies.
A: Being a place where people from Algonquin go to dump dead bodies.


Q: The first theater show in [[Star Junction]] was...<br>
Q: The first theater show in [[Star Junction]] was...<br />
A: Heavily censored by right-wing government.
A: Heavily censored by right-wing government.


Q: The [[Statue of Happiness]]...<br>
Q: The [[Statue of Happiness]]...<br />
A: ...was presented to the USA by France in 1886 to mark 100 years free from British food and spelling.
A: ...was presented to the USA by France in 1886 to mark 100 years free from British food and spelling.


Q: What is the famous [[Screamer]] in [[Firefly Island]]?<br>
Q: What is the famous [[Screamer]] in [[Firefly Island]]?<br />
A: A wooden roller coaster built by drunk Europeans.
A: A wooden roller coaster built by drunk Europeans.


Q: What is the weapon of choice among Liberty City residents?<br>
Q: What is the weapon of choice among Liberty City residents?<br />
A: Talking about sports while grabbing their anatomy.
A: Talking about sports while grabbing their anatomy.


Q: What is the average time lapse between consumption of a Liberty City hot dog and the onset of chronic diarrhea?<br>
Q: What is the average time lapse between consumption of a Liberty City hot dog and the onset of chronic diarrhea?<br />
A: They are simultaneous.
A: They are simultaneous.


Q: What is the [[Monoglobe]] in [[Meadow Park]], [[Dukes]]?<br>
Q: What is the [[Monoglobe]] in [[Meadow Park]], [[Dukes]]?<br />
A: A relic from the Liberty City World Fair that they could not be bothered to take down.
A: A relic from the Liberty City World Fair that they could not be bothered to take down.